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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that the middle classes are liars and actors?

418 replies

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:37

I know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. Everything she says and values is a walking middle class stereotype. The couple live in a nice house, everything is nice. Forgive my surprise, then, when I found out that she was born on a council estate to parents who were often jobless. After some snooping around, I learned that her husband comes from more money, but his father actually began life as a builder - yes, a construction worker! - who rose to manage the (small) company before buying up a number of local estate agents. I never knew what the couple in question did until I learned that they are landlords to some shops in town. Their son went to a private school and struts around like he is prince of the county! When none of his grandparents were posh! And how is it that the husband and wife own so many properties in town?!

It reminds me of a doctor and his wife I know. I always thought they must come from solidly middle class, if not upper class backgrounds, given how they talk and behave. It turned out that both of them come from families that worked in steel!

And and and there is a writer who lives nearish to me. Single woman, carries herself with this gait and artistic flair that I assumed she must come from an UMC background. Turns out her father was a welder.

Why are these people so MC presenting?? I would never have guessed they had come from unglamorous backgrounds, and there are a few other 'friends' I suspect might be similar. Are the middle classes inherently actors? If so their snobbery is alarming to me!

Had to change my name for this.

OP posts:
Neenaaneenaa · 05/10/2024 12:45

What on earth 😂

vodkaredbullgirl · 05/10/2024 12:45

🍿

PinkArt · 05/10/2024 12:46

Maybe they should be made the wear a badge that says 'I'm actually dead common'.

SerenityNowInsanityLater · 05/10/2024 12:46

Is this a reverse snob thread?

Edingril · 05/10/2024 12:46

Darn Bucket woman

DreamW3aver · 05/10/2024 12:46

Is it a joke, no one cares

Thepeopleversuswork · 05/10/2024 12:46

PinkArt · 05/10/2024 12:46

Maybe they should be made the wear a badge that says 'I'm actually dead common'.

LOL. Like being tarred and feathered.

TheKeatingFive · 05/10/2024 12:47

Pisstake post surely?

Itiswhysofew · 05/10/2024 12:47

There are many MC people who do the opposite.

Never make assumptions re. backgrounds.

All money and class starts somewhere🙄

.

Sassysoonwins · 05/10/2024 12:48

It's a shame the OPs post turned so nasty as from the title I thought it would be quite a funny discussion as there are quite a few people I know who do 'act' middle class quite overtly and it makes me laugh, but I was more thinking along the lines of everyone swearing blind they can only use or wear certain brands because they love them when really it's just that our local Amanda has decided its the in thing this month. But no, caring what peoples parents did I can't be bothered to be interested.

MsSquiz · 05/10/2024 12:49

Please feel free to blow a gasket, but I went to private school as the only child of a single mother living in a council flat until I was 17 years old!
I now live in a £1m house, mortgage free!

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be lying or acting about? Can you advise, @MargaretBrewer

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:49

Okay, the response was as I feared.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

OP posts:
BarbaraHoward · 05/10/2024 12:49

Amazing. It's like Miss Bingley discussing the Gardiners in Pride and Prejudice.

JohnSt1 · 05/10/2024 12:49

Do you expect anyone who is from a working class family to act like Vicky Pollard? You're such a snob!

Seasmoke · 05/10/2024 12:50

JohnSt1 · 05/10/2024 12:49

Do you expect anyone who is from a working class family to act like Vicky Pollard? You're such a snob!

Well obviously. Otherwise how would one know whether to engage with them or not? I mean, fancy making friends with doctors and then meeting their parents and finding out they were...WORKING CLASS!!!!

HoppityBun · 05/10/2024 12:51

know this woman who I always assumed was middle class. from what I can understand of the OP, you thought:
That she was middle class or, to refer to your headline, of “the middle classes”, and now you find that she’s not?
Or that she no longer fits your class stratifying criteria?
Or that you think the way she behaves now is not explicitly performative enough to advertise her humble origins?
Or something.

It seems to me that you might benefit from looking deeper inside yourself

DappledThings · 05/10/2024 12:51

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:49

Okay, the response was as I feared.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

What is the pattern of behaviour you expect from the child of a welder and why is it so at odds at with your experience of this person?

What weirdly fixed ideas you have about how people should act and speak because of their parents.

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:51

MsSquiz · 05/10/2024 12:49

Please feel free to blow a gasket, but I went to private school as the only child of a single mother living in a council flat until I was 17 years old!
I now live in a £1m house, mortgage free!

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be lying or acting about? Can you advise, @MargaretBrewer

That's really good news!!!

OP posts:
LoraPiano · 05/10/2024 12:51

I actually know what you mean @MargaretBrewer. My ex was like this, he was from a poor background, but he had gone to Oxford and was a partner in a city law firm. Outwardly he came across as very posh, but once I got to know him it was as if he had looked up all that upper class people do and he had modelled himself after that, e.g. loving sailing and skiing, going to the opera, shopping at Harrods and Fortnums, his clothes, his accent, all felt like he was trying to play the part of someone else and to fit in.

GreyBlackLove · 05/10/2024 12:52

I feel like I'm missing something here. In your mind, how does someone who is NOT middle class speak and behave? What are you comparing against?

Frowningprovidence · 05/10/2024 12:52

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:49

Okay, the response was as I feared.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

Of course behaviour and spee h shift throughout life. The brain is pretty elastic and we are constantly adapting and changing to our environment.

Some people move abroad, learn a whole new language and culture and fit in pretty well, they arent acting, they've adapted.

BarbaraHoward · 05/10/2024 12:52

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:49

Okay, the response was as I feared.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

My mum grew up in an inner city council house, I grew up in the leafy suburbs and went to private school. Why would you think my mum's upbringing would have more influence than my own. Confused

Btw, completely unrelated, but my accent can shift am depending on who I'm speaking to unless I make a conscious effort not to change it. Not a performance, just a trait that's quite common. Some say it's a sign of a musical ear, but anyone who's heard me sing knows otherwise. Grin

LBOCS2 · 05/10/2024 12:52

MargaretBrewer · 05/10/2024 12:49

Okay, the response was as I feared.

I'll reword it a little: I'm simply surprised. Can a person's behaviour and speech shift throughout their life? If so , they must be performing to some degree

Literally look up code-switching. It's a thing.

K0OLA1D · 05/10/2024 12:52

The batshit is strong in this one

Rummly · 05/10/2024 12:53

The opening post is either:

  • a joke
  • a post by a strange ‘posh’ person obsessed with ‘breeding’, or
  • a post by a Marxist who despises everyone but the true, horny-handed working class.

Whichever, it’s a load of nonsense.

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