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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel slightly suspicious of dp

969 replies

wwyt · 27/09/2024 11:36

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

OP posts:
Lalalalalalalalalalaoohoohwee · 02/10/2024 22:07

wwyt · 02/10/2024 21:59

UPDATE:

So after my friend kept an eye on dps car outside his mums on Saturday morning she came back to mine for a cuppa, I rung dp he said he was at work ( he wasn't, his car was outside his mums) we rung his workplace , his dad answered which suggests he wasn't at home waiting on his dad getting ready.

We weren't sure where to go from there because I didn't want to seem to obvious, 15 minutes later dp comes home with lunch for me and baby (something he never does) he sits for 5 mins apologises to my friend for not bringing her anything as he didn't know she was there.

I kept saying to dp how I find it strange his morning routine has completely changed but he just calls me crazy.

Monday morning rolls around he doesn't have an alarm set until after 8.... an hour later than the last few months, I'm not sure if this is to try throw me off guard or because of how much I've been saying about him getting up early,

Yesterday he got up usual 6:45

This morning was the same and then I got a voice message from my sister saying "oh I seen ..... ( my dp) in the car with an elderly woman about 50/60 at like 10AM.

I rung him during his lunch and said oh my sister seen you this morning , who was the lady in your car, he went batshit crazy and said my sister is trying to make up lies to break us up.... and that it was his dad.

My sister swears blind it was an elderly lady with a bob..........

I don't know what's going on now, me and dp are late 20's what would he be doing with a 50 year old.

My heads around the show now.

Thanks for all of the replies guys 💝

This is madness OP! Think I'd be getting a private investigator at this point. Nothing he's doing or saying is making sense and he has no right to lie to you like this.

bringslight · 02/10/2024 22:09

This goes even crazier. So is not his mother?

Original poster
wwyt · 02/10/2024 22:10

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:06

Does his dad have a bob?

No 🤣🤣🤣 he just about has hair

OP posts:
brokenbics · 02/10/2024 22:11

Could it have been his mum in the car?

OzzyTheBullSnortedAtMe · 02/10/2024 22:11

50/60 isn't elderly!!!

Original poster
wwyt · 02/10/2024 22:11

strawberryblue · 02/10/2024 22:06

Ok-:

  1. how well do you trust your sister?

  2. could it possibly have been his dad? Does his dad have short hair?

  3. could it be his mum?

  4. could his dad be having an affair and he's trying to cover it up?

Trust my sister with my life

If it was his mum why didn't op just say yeah it was my mum, my sister never seen the woman before and now she's all annoyed and feels crazy but swears it was a woman with a bob

OP posts:
Original poster
wwyt · 02/10/2024 22:12

Sorry not op, DP*

OP posts:
Original poster
wwyt · 02/10/2024 22:12

OzzyTheBullSnortedAtMe · 02/10/2024 22:11

50/60 isn't elderly!!!

I know, sorry. This was the words my 21 year old sister said

OP posts:
Beastiesandthebeauty · 02/10/2024 22:13

It doesn't look good with the lying ect in truely sorry to you...

If not another woman/ eacort ( the 50 year old )
He still needs to tell the truth for your sanity

Secradonugh · 02/10/2024 22:16

wwyt · 02/10/2024 22:12

I know, sorry. This was the words my 21 year old sister said

Show quote history

It's still possible that she didn't get it right, that it could have been anyone in the car with him. However of course if his response is to gaslight your sis then that's worrying. Did he even ask where she saw him? That would be a reasonable response.

Secradonugh · 02/10/2024 22:17

wwyt · 02/10/2024 22:12

I know, sorry. This was the words my 21 year old sister said

Show quote history

Would where she thinks she saw him be on the route to work?

teatimeplease · 02/10/2024 22:18

If you're in the same area as me I'd happily go and sit outside and see what house he's going in to in the mornings

purin · 02/10/2024 22:22

More questions than answers, no wonder your head is done in OP!

Usually the simplest answer is the correct answer, but wth is the simplest answer?!

strawberryblue · 02/10/2024 22:23

Op could he be making some extra money driving etc?

Are your finances ok?

Pingpongglitch · 02/10/2024 22:24

Beastiesandthebeauty · 27/09/2024 13:17

  1. Who the hell are these other women other posters have caught their men at it with early in the morning 😐
  2. What is op's man up to 🤔

Well, mine was fucking the newsagent where he went to buy his paper and secret cigarettes on his way to work. So that's one.

OnlyLittleOldMe · 02/10/2024 22:25

OzzyTheBullSnortedAtMe · 02/10/2024 22:11

50/60 isn't elderly!!!

It is to a 20-30 year old.

OP could he be taking his Mum or another relative to a hospital appointment.

TheShellBeach · 02/10/2024 22:26

OnlyLittleOldMe · 02/10/2024 22:25

It is to a 20-30 year old.

OP could he be taking his Mum or another relative to a hospital appointment.

Show quote history

What, every day?

Secradonugh · 02/10/2024 22:27

Pingpongglitch · 02/10/2024 22:24

Well, mine was fucking the newsagent where he went to buy his paper and secret cigarettes on his way to work. So that's one.

Show quote history

I'd love to say that I think k your making that up, but obviously not. What did either of them get out of it? A quick screw to destroy at least one marriage and an innocent person's view of people.... so sorry for you. They must have such low self esteem or something.

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 02/10/2024 22:27

@strawberryblue 's suggestion may be a good one - he could be doing a school run for a child and the child is accompanied by a grandparent as cannot travel without an adult ( as well as the driver )

and yes it would bring in extra money.

altho I do wonder if it would need to be a registered taxi for that ?

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:27

OnlyLittleOldMe · 02/10/2024 22:25

It is to a 20-30 year old.

OP could he be taking his Mum or another relative to a hospital appointment.

Show quote history

But why wouldn’t he just say ?

And whether or not 50-60 is elderly or not is a bit beside the point; young or old, she ain’t his dad, so why say she was his dad?

Secradonugh · 02/10/2024 22:28

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 02/10/2024 22:27

@strawberryblue 's suggestion may be a good one - he could be doing a school run for a child and the child is accompanied by a grandparent as cannot travel without an adult ( as well as the driver )

and yes it would bring in extra money.

altho I do wonder if it would need to be a registered taxi for that ?

Technically yes you are a private hire and your insurance needs to change, you get dbs checked and passenger should not be in front of vehicle.

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:28

Op did your sister know of your concerns ? Or did she just innocently say she saw do?

TheShellBeach · 02/10/2024 22:29

I do agree that to a 20 year old, 50 - 60 can seem elderly.
I'm sure I thought my patients in their 60s (when I was a young student nurse), were almost past it.

But of course, now I'm in my 60s myself, and I still feel young! And 20 year olds seem like children to me.

Come and ask me again when I'm 80.
🤣

Imbusytodaysorry · 02/10/2024 22:32

This is bonkers. . @wwyt
OP are you staying with him or not ? This is madness .

He is lying sneaking around hiding stuff. .no doubt cheating and yet your letting him gaslight
you.

Saying you are crazy , your sister is causing trouble. Yes he was changing things around to throw you off sent. .

I have just been told through a friend of a female work colleague who has ended a 25 year marriage she is in her 50s and guess what age the man is she is getting lifts from and got all friendly with ???? 21 that’s what age he is .

It happens .

Your man has been playing around and has just been caught.

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:34

Imbusytodaysorry · 02/10/2024 22:32

This is bonkers. . @wwyt
OP are you staying with him or not ? This is madness .

He is lying sneaking around hiding stuff. .no doubt cheating and yet your letting him gaslight
you.

Saying you are crazy , your sister is causing trouble. Yes he was changing things around to throw you off sent. .

I have just been told through a friend of a female work colleague who has ended a 25 year marriage she is in her 50s and guess what age the man is she is getting lifts from and got all friendly with ???? 21 that’s what age he is .

It happens .

Your man has been playing around and has just been caught.

It’s DP!!!!!!! Op we have solved it!!!