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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel slightly suspicious of dp

969 replies

wwyt · 27/09/2024 11:36

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

OP posts:
TicklishMintDuck · 02/10/2024 17:22

Maybe he’s lost / given up his job?

kayla12345 · 02/10/2024 17:40

Turn up at his work and say you've locked the key in the house with your phone. That will tell you if he's actually at work

Manthide · 02/10/2024 17:49

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

My ex suggested having a young baby had made me crazy! Then months later when I accidentally found proof he said I had not been paying enough attention to him. We did have 2 other dc and I'd just had my 3rd c section and bfeeding on demand- as well as doing all night feeds and nappy changes.

Alwaysinamood · 02/10/2024 18:02

Wow this is very intriguing, I really hope you find out what’s happening- could any of his parents be ill ?? Could he be caring for them before work?? Really hope it’s not as bad as we all think !

Alwaysinamood · 02/10/2024 18:03

Also the comment he made saying ‘I don’t know how you can be tired when you just lie there’ about when you have sex rang alarm bells with me too

sugarrosepetal · 02/10/2024 18:07

Putting another spin on things, could his mum be in ill health and he's not mentioned it to you but going early to help his dad care for her before work?

DoggingDave · 02/10/2024 18:15

Maybe Fil is playing away and Dh picks him up early to give him a lift round the Ow's house. Then Dh waits in the motor while Fil pops in.

Possibly Dh and Fil are sneaking off early and smashing a gram of bugle before work

Treesandsheepeverywhere · 02/10/2024 18:16

NothingVenturedAndAllThat · 02/10/2024 14:03

Goodness me, I have to say, I thought it seemed unlikely he'd be up to no good at 7am in a morning. Who has the energy for that?! Hoping there's a reasonable explanation for it all, OP.

Some men are horny first thing in the morning, or pretty much all day.

Have been surprised on numerous occasions what some will do for a leg over.

TinyFlamingo · 02/10/2024 18:17

If he's terrible in the morning and always relyed on lifts, and now has to be responsible for driving another, is he just leaving so early to make sure he gets there at all?
The gets ready there with plenty of time.
Instead of sluggishly getting ready and risk not leaving enough time?
Getting out of bed 30 mins before needing to bein the office is quite extreme as is the new behavior, just wondering if he's yoyo-d from one to the other.
Could the irritability be because of the early starts now?

sunflowersngunpowdr · 02/10/2024 20:44

Id put money on him having an affair, nothing else makes sense. If I were you I'd wait for him to leave tomorrow then pack some things for you and baby and leave. Don't call him let him chase you around. When you decide to answer tell him you will give him one chance and one chance only to admit he's sleeping with someone else and if he lies to you - it's over. Life is too short to be with someone you don't trust and who would disrespect you like that.

CeCeDrake · 02/10/2024 21:03

any possibility he has drove to the parents then the dad has drove them both in? So that would explain the car still at his parents and the father answering the phone?

ZoeDavoMCR · 02/10/2024 21:06

Do we have an update?

HiveMindEchoChamber · 02/10/2024 21:30

wwyt · 02/10/2024 10:47

Hi everyone,

I'm most definitely not a troll , who would make up this post? Would be very random

I'm not very further forward to be honest I will update later I'm feel very down at the moment - from what we know already it doesn't look good

Take care of yourself OP. This sounds like it's been all-consuming, and I know you said you had a baby further upthread so not easy at all

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 21:34

DoggingDave · 02/10/2024 18:15

Maybe Fil is playing away and Dh picks him up early to give him a lift round the Ow's house. Then Dh waits in the motor while Fil pops in.

Possibly Dh and Fil are sneaking off early and smashing a gram of bugle before work

That would be one devoted son to get up early to take dad for his shag.

Could he be shagging his mum?! 🤣

Porn habit ?

Mum cooks him a big breakfast?

Could he and his Dad be building you something op? My friends Dad built his DW a sofa once as a surprise. It was 🤨 as sofas go.

I don’t think he’s going straight to work anyway, otherwise it would be easier not to change twice if he’s en route to work.

harlacem0507 · 02/10/2024 21:36

Hope you're okay 💖

strawberryblue · 02/10/2024 21:37

Hope your ok OP and things get better or clearer for you whatever that means! Xx

Teapot1980 · 02/10/2024 21:55

F

Original poster
wwyt · 02/10/2024 21:59

UPDATE:

So after my friend kept an eye on dps car outside his mums on Saturday morning she came back to mine for a cuppa, I rung dp he said he was at work ( he wasn't, his car was outside his mums) we rung his workplace , his dad answered which suggests he wasn't at home waiting on his dad getting ready.

We weren't sure where to go from there because I didn't want to seem to obvious, 15 minutes later dp comes home with lunch for me and baby (something he never does) he sits for 5 mins apologises to my friend for not bringing her anything as he didn't know she was there.

I kept saying to dp how I find it strange his morning routine has completely changed but he just calls me crazy.

Monday morning rolls around he doesn't have an alarm set until after 8.... an hour later than the last few months, I'm not sure if this is to try throw me off guard or because of how much I've been saying about him getting up early,

Yesterday he got up usual 6:45

This morning was the same and then I got a voice message from my sister saying "oh I seen ..... ( my dp) in the car with an elderly woman about 50/60 at like 10AM.

I rung him during his lunch and said oh my sister seen you this morning , who was the lady in your car, he went batshit crazy and said my sister is trying to make up lies to break us up.... and that it was his dad.

My sister swears blind it was an elderly lady with a bob..........

I don't know what's going on now, me and dp are late 20's what would he be doing with a 50 year old.

My heads around the show now.

Thanks for all of the replies guys 💝

OP posts:
YouMustBeMrsWhippy · 02/10/2024 22:01

wwyt · 27/09/2024 11:36

Hi, I'm looking to know would YOU be suspicious? I'm not really suspicious but maybe a bit slightly?

So, dp works for his dads business and has for the last 10 years. Dp doesn't start work until 9. Usually he would set an alarm for 8:30 which sounds really late but his workplace is a 2 minute drive from our home. And he's really easy going 🤣. His dad doesn't drive but a workmate would always collect him.

About a month ago dp started setting alarms at 6.45-7:15 getting up and leaving the house within 10 mins of those alarms. (Extremely early from before) I've been with dp 5 years he's never up that early for work.

He says it's because he's starting to give his dad a lift to work every morning. His mum and dad live a 5 minute drive from our home. That's not too suspicious. But the thing that's making me go 🤨 is he's leaving home in the mornings in his normal clothes. He says he gets ready in his parents house just before he leaves for work as it's easier?

He has a specific work uniform. He would always get ready here before leaving.

So he's started leaving the house over an hour earlier than usual and not getting ready here?

Would you be suspicious?

have you considered that perhaps he is secretly volunteering for an organization such as the lifeboat crew or mountain rescue service? Perhaps by way of righting some wrong from a past life for which he is ashamed? I often find the harshest assumptions lead to the most bittersweet of reconciliations. x

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:03

wwyt · 02/10/2024 21:59

UPDATE:

So after my friend kept an eye on dps car outside his mums on Saturday morning she came back to mine for a cuppa, I rung dp he said he was at work ( he wasn't, his car was outside his mums) we rung his workplace , his dad answered which suggests he wasn't at home waiting on his dad getting ready.

We weren't sure where to go from there because I didn't want to seem to obvious, 15 minutes later dp comes home with lunch for me and baby (something he never does) he sits for 5 mins apologises to my friend for not bringing her anything as he didn't know she was there.

I kept saying to dp how I find it strange his morning routine has completely changed but he just calls me crazy.

Monday morning rolls around he doesn't have an alarm set until after 8.... an hour later than the last few months, I'm not sure if this is to try throw me off guard or because of how much I've been saying about him getting up early,

Yesterday he got up usual 6:45

This morning was the same and then I got a voice message from my sister saying "oh I seen ..... ( my dp) in the car with an elderly woman about 50/60 at like 10AM.

I rung him during his lunch and said oh my sister seen you this morning , who was the lady in your car, he went batshit crazy and said my sister is trying to make up lies to break us up.... and that it was his dad.

My sister swears blind it was an elderly lady with a bob..........

I don't know what's going on now, me and dp are late 20's what would he be doing with a 50 year old.

My heads around the show now.

Thanks for all of the replies guys 💝

WEIRD

Lalalalalalalalalalaoohoohwee · 02/10/2024 22:05

YouMustBeMrsWhippy · 02/10/2024 22:01

have you considered that perhaps he is secretly volunteering for an organization such as the lifeboat crew or mountain rescue service? Perhaps by way of righting some wrong from a past life for which he is ashamed? I often find the harshest assumptions lead to the most bittersweet of reconciliations. x

Show quote history

I mean, it's real life, not a Nora Roberts book so probably unlikely....

strawberryblue · 02/10/2024 22:06

Ok-:

  1. how well do you trust your sister?

  2. could it possibly have been his dad? Does his dad have short hair?

  3. could it be his mum?

  4. could his dad be having an affair and he's trying to cover it up?

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:06

Does his dad have a bob?

DaisyChain505 · 02/10/2024 22:06

You need to follow/have him followed to know for certain.

you need actual evidence of seeing where he is going when he leaves his car. Just seeing it parked outside his parents isn’t enough evidence for anything.

Calliopespa · 02/10/2024 22:07

Maybe he was dropping his dads ow somewhere…