Partner hates me

[Whatwear]

My partner hates me he's always accusing me of causing arguments looks at skinny women when I'm a very big size 18 I'm trying to lose weight im nearly 1 stone down I think he hates e because I don't look attractive my stomach isn't flat ky boobs aren't perky I'm a brunette not blonde skinny or attractive in any way he tells I'm to big to wear nice clothes and that I should cover up im so insecure and don't deserve to live because I don't look at certain way I'm so insecure we're always arguing and I'm always crying

No it's not about me because I'm not a size 18 but it's literally a size above the national average describing it as very big is pretty rude! This removes my empathy.

@BloodAndFire what are you on about? ! Just because is average in uk doesn't mean is not big ! Size 18 is big stop lying to yourself

Not necessarily at all my auntie has a tiny little waist but her cup size is H what size blouse does she need to wear? An 18 🤷‍♀️

It sounds like you hate each other.

But size 18 is big. I’m also currently a size 18. I know you’re determined to make this thread about you but can you not see the OP is in pain?

OP, your weight doesn’t define you. If you want to lose the weight then in time you will. It’s not easy, I know. As others have said, is your partner actually saying these things or are you putting the words into his mouth? You can be big and still look lovely. I’m certain you’re none of the things you use to describe yourself.

Evidently, love, you could as you repeatedly try and make the OP feel even worse.

So if he hates you why are you still together?

But I'd of only commented once at this stage I'm being quoted and replying 🤷‍♀️

It sounds like you're in an extremely toxic relationship - and, kindly - as you've admitted, from both sides. You're aware of your insecurities and it sounds like you're trying to work on them, but he also needs to consider the impact his words and actions have on you. You may feel there's no way out as things stand, but I'm sure you'll get through this - stick with your therapy, try to find a job that fits in with your childcare needs, and then leave. You've done brilliantly losing the weight you've lost and if you want to carry on for you, that's great - but don't do it for him. If you do split, focus on rebuilding your life and conquer the voice in you that says you aren't enough - I'm sure you are.

OP, if you're in a council house presumably this is to house yourself and your children? He doesn't need to be there.

Can you get in touch with Women's Aid to have a chat to somebody about what your options might be? I think you should do that, speak to somebody who can give you good advice based on your circumstances.

Once you know what your options are then you can start to make a plan as to what you'll do next. This man isn't good to you and he has no business being in the house when he's causing you this anguish, it's not good for your children to witness this either.

Women's Aid are very good, look them up and give them a call.

Like f*ck does he have anxiety. He's a bully, a lazy, vicious one and he is abusing you.

@Whatwear does he call you an ugly fat bitch when he's nasty to you?

I would bet good money that the negative way you talk about stems directly from what he says to you, about you.

And I suspect your "jealousy" is nothing more than a normal response to partner who does nothing but put you down, undermine and disrespect you.

Keep going with the therapy. Of course your self-esteem will be through the floor, but also make plans to kick him because your self-esteem will only start to recover once you're free him.

Also, not that it's a actually relevant but you say you're a size 18?

The average size for women in the UK is 16, so you're just above average.

Just a little perspective for you.

I'll dig out some links I saw on another thread to help support you getting rid of him.

You deserve wonderful things, @Whatwear , and are worth the world.

https://www.ncdv.org.uk/

These people will arrange a free restraining order against him for your protection. Make sure it contains powers of arrest so the police can do something if he breaks it.

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/

https://refuge.org.uk/

Are two excellent charities that will help support you to rid him from your life and provide lots of advice.

Your GP can also sign post you to local support.

Make sure you check out these pages in particular because I think you'll find them helpful in seeing exactly the abuse you've been living with:
https://refuge.org.uk/what-is-domestic-abuse/about-domestic-abuse/

https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/what-is-domestic-abuse/recognising-domestic-abuse/

He's a total cunt. Leave him, permanently, and reclaim your life. Wishing you all the best for a happy life away from that CUNT.

Go and see your GP. I used to have awful self esteem. I worked out why I felt that way and then I worked on improving myself. I'm also on Sertraline which stopped this inner voices.

I've also lost weight by changing my eating habits, I have digestive issues zndneed to avoid certain foods.

Dump him then?

He doesn't sound great but honestly you have a victim mentality.

came out room ready to go out when he said have you got something of cover up with you've got a front pouch

This is all very toxic. The poor kids listening to this.

👏 exactly 16 is Average! and she's jealous that somebody else might take this utter prince and he insulted by him lol.

Again, this is not about you. How you perceive a size 18 and how OP does depends on a lot of factors, including her own self-worth and confidence.

I think YABU to stay with a man who treats you like this. You’re also role modelling this disfunction to the kids.

How to loss a 'fat bum' in 7 days...

Pack all his clothes up, tell him he's a fat headed tossed, then kick him out.

Go away I'm reporting your comments your only because I said I was big at a size 18 sure iv seen you being nasty to others as well your username looks familiar leave me alone I'm going through enough.