To miss my more youthful vulva

[OptimismvsRealism]

I did not expect this bit of ageing at all (esp as I don't have kids so nothing controversial has ever really happened down there)

But I miss it feeling moister and bouncier and just generally more resilient and upbeat

And I miss not needing to pee every half hour

And then when you do pee it feels like there's more to come

Feel quite bummed out (was going to do a front bum pun but decided too shudder) to contemplate the next four decades with a buzzkill down there

Hi, your GP will be far better at fitting these. They generally have a cupboard of them in surgery. Mine does and my GP measured me properly and fitted one I could take in and out myself.

It will be moss next.

And then cobwebs.

I am mid 60's and was post menopausal at about 60. I suffered from vaginal dryness and tried Replens. I persevered with it for a few years and it was absolutely awful. I had constant clumps of what did look like toilet tissue. It says this is dead cells sloughing off. How they can do this constantly is beyond me.

I tried then tried Ovestin but it gave me migraine. I have never taken the pill or HRT.

In the last year or so I have been using Yes VM. It is far superior to Replens. There is no weird discharge and my vagina feels back to normal. With the Replens it never felt like it was moisturised.

I am sticking with the YesVM and use it once or twice a week. You can use it internally and externally. I get the tube (rather than the pre filled ones) and use an old Replens applicator.

The only thing that I have noticed (since menopause) is that my inner labia have practically disappeared. They were always on the small side though.

I agree too and the assumption that is must be down to lifestyle is frankly a bit insulting. My bmi is 19 and I have a very toned body from exercise 5 days a week plus a very clean diet and yet I still have all these issues down below. I think it is down to hormones.

Have you considered seeing a pelvic physio? I had some issues with overly tense pelvic floor and it was enormously helpful. They do a lot on bladder health. Your pelvic floor muscle is huge! Much bigger than you'd imagine

Lichen sclerosis. Not lichen like on tree trunks and stones.

I thought bushes were currently fashionable, for those who cba to depilate. I don't really know, nor care - I do what I'm in the mood for, not anyone else. Sometimes it coincides with the preferences of a fwb, but if it doesn't, they have the option of refusing. Not one has to date.

Ha ha my poor old bits probably do have moss and potentially going a bit mouldy too! But I was referring to Lichen Sclerosis - nearly as bad 😂

I'm just looking online now. Do you think pelvic floor exercises have improved overall health around there? (I.e. dryness etc)

Yeah, I think it must be. I've had some things happen as part of the aging process that have really surprised me - I've always had large boobs (on a slim frame) and now the breast tissue has migrated under my arms, and there seems to be nothing I can do to reverse that process. All the weights classes and 'flies' I do in the gym won't put it back again! Plus I went from having a bladder like a camel (or some other desert based creature) to needing to wee after every drink and having to get up at least once a night for a wee - AND my mood took a massive downturn when I hit the menopause (early, as I am only 49 and this was a couple of years ago). I have HRT plus vaginal pessaries and am also on SSRIs and that's all helped quite a bit, but man, ageing just sucks! Maybe some people do sail through it but I can't help resenting the changes it's made to my body.

Well, I am 46 and have just taken a look for the first time in yonks. I am on oestrogen spray, progesterone capsules and testosterone. The area looks normal to me. Labia majora a bit older looking but the rest is the same it's always been (post birth)...never going to look as it did pre forceps!

All a healthy colour for me and appropriately moist. Having friable tissue, needing to pee a lot etc doesn't have to be that way.

@OptimismvsRealism

I had different issues. I had trauma in the pelvis which caused my muscles to be overly clenched and I couldn't release. But I do really rate specialist physios in this space as they talk about lots of areas of pelvic health including bladder and muscle engagement. It's worth seeing someone for an MOT.

It shouldn't smell of beer or yeast.
Like most have said pelvic floor exercises and hormone assistance. You can go to the gp stating vaginal dryness, painful sex and urinary urgency/incontinence.

And even young women can use lube vaginally as it can dry up during sex and monthly hormonal fluctuations

The OP didn’t specify rules about who can and can’t reply. Maybe it’s helpful for some younger women to hear that it’s not all doom and gloom in the fanny department when you’re over 50?

Pilates and HRT. And a good sex life!

Just take some hrt or get vaginal laser work done or just accept that sex isn't always about lithe young bodies.stop the griping.

Have you seen a specialist gynae physio. They can work wonders with the internal musculature: it's not just being internally toned, it's also that the different muscle groups have to be balanced. People actually have over-strong muscles in one area and too weak in other areas and this causes problems.

You also want to keep your internal vagina lubricated which helps with potential vaginal atrophy. If you don't have regular sex, then maybe some alone time might be good!

Also are you drinking enough water? This may make a difference.

Finally consider doing a Holistic Core Restore course (you can do this online). I was sceptical but it made a massive difference with minor urinary incontinence. Feeling healthier internally will I'm sure help you feel more confident with the look of your vulva. But I agree with PP that toning up your abdomen generally will help..

Then… don’t comment?

I’m on all the HRT - oestrogen gel, progesterone pessary/tablet, topical oestrogen cream/vagifem pessary, testosterone cream. It’s made a HUUUUGE difference to my vulva in terms of dryness/itching/lubrication and libido.

I was really worried I’d never want sex again when I started peri symptoms. I didn’t even notice how much my clitoris had shrivelled away until a couple of years after starting the HRT (patches to start with) but when I couldn’t orgasm anymore I realised why!

Asked the GP to refer me to a meno clinic and within a few weeks had a phone call, requested adding testosterone to improve my sexual function and honestly it made such a difference to both desire and sensation. Clitoris is definitely more pronounced now, not back to its former glory but at least feels good. And my (younger) DP can’t keep up with my drive.

You’re too young to let it go, just persevere with the GP, ask to be referred if you don’t get the answers you need. HRT is your right and will help you in so many ways. Yes there are some possible risks but they’re massively outweighed by the benefits for me and so many others.

Optimism, you said you don't like your GP but you can find another.

You need to have blood test to check FSH etc levels so you know how far on the way you are to menopause.

I would be more worried about peeing so often. I pee more than I did when younger and get up once in the middle of the night for a wee but I am more than thirty years older than you. You could have a urinary infection, you must check.

Sugar does not help thrush, alcohol dehydrates as well as causing other problems. The occasional glass doesn't hurt. Drink plenty of water and at least cut down on your sugar intake, please.

You may be fine soon but you cannot leave these things to chance. Change your GP, it's not difficult.

Good luck, you are still a very young woman, remember that.

Ha this. Balls do get old and saggy! They can really hang down and this really cheers me up 😆

Like everything else, vulvas age.

One reason I never understood all the strange posts about waxing that men who like waxed vulvas are closet paedophiles who want an adult woman to have pre-pubescent looking genitals.

There are numerous issue with waxing female genitals in regards to porn and unrealistic body standards which I wholeheartedly agree with. But the majority of vulvas which have gone through puberty do not in any way look pre-pubescent.

And they tend to age like the rest of the body in term of collagen depletion making skin generally more baggy and less firm.

It's not misogynistic to say so. The same goes for male genitalia. Anyone who has worked in elder care knows a lot of men end up with very baggy scrotums like two marbles in a hiking sock as I once read in a very accurate description by a man.

Try using YES gel, I use the ones that come in applicators that you insert. You can insert them up to once every 3 days but I usually do 1-2 times a week and it makes such a difference!

I didn’t say it was did I????
ffs 🤦🏻‍♀️