To miss my more youthful vulva

[OptimismvsRealism]

I did not expect this bit of ageing at all (esp as I don't have kids so nothing controversial has ever really happened down there)

But I miss it feeling moister and bouncier and just generally more resilient and upbeat

And I miss not needing to pee every half hour

And then when you do pee it feels like there's more to come

Feel quite bummed out (was going to do a front bum pun but decided too shudder) to contemplate the next four decades with a buzzkill down there

It is - and a bit annoying that some of the people with no issues actually like it's freakish to have problems!

Why do you think ANY of this thread is about what men think of our vulvas?

Yes really. I'm still recovering from the surgery.

I don't know why you'd assume that your mum has the same 'endometrial thing' I did, it's a risk not a certainty. I was just pointing out that the advice a pp gave contradicts the information published by the manufacturer of Ovestin and I am living proof that it does have the potential to get into your system and have effects beyond the immediate area.

You need oestrogen cream

Y’all need to check out Mehmet Bekirsen on IG. I won’t link.

He’s an vaginal/vulval surgeon. There are no actual photos of patients but amazing graphics. I find it fascinating. Seems to have a lot of Only Fans type clients in his testimonials.

@thenightsaredrawingin when I was on lower dose oestrogen I still had issues even when using vagifem, but when my dose was upped for other reasons it sorted out the VA too.

Have you ever taken antidepressants specifically SSRIs? as if you take them for a long time and come off them it can apparently cause your vulva to shrivel, I was reading about this recently and it was quite miserable sounding.

Vaginal atrophy has a lot more to do with incontinence, discomfort and recurrent UTIs than it has anything to do with sex for most women.

Women shagging their way through tinder should be doing it for their own pleasure, not to please men 🙄🫤

He does designer vaginas?

@Turophilic - I never really thought about my breasts. Enjoyed breast-feeding, quite sensitive nipples which is fun for sex, but otherwise, largely ignored them. These days, I really find myself disliking them, can't wait to tether them into a decent bra and cover them up. I never thought I would be considering breast lift surgery, but here I am, closer to 60 than 50 and hoiking them up in front of the bathroom mirror and thinking, hmmm... Vanity creeps up on you, year by bloody year, it seems.

Yes, full packages, it would seem whatever you want, including filler injections and fat transfer.

I’m 62 and don’t recognise any of that. I had a full hysterectomy when I was 50 and haven’t had any problems (stopped HRT in 2013). I wonder why some do and some don’t, has there ever been an explanation why?

Did your surgeon tell you that @Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice ?

The leaflet in the box is for systemic HRT.
Consultants in the UK have been trying for years to get the leaflet changed.

In the past women were sometimes given progesterone every few months to reduce any overgrowth of the lining. This guide has been changed as there is no evidence that vaginal estrogen causes it.

it is - and a bit annoying that some of the people with no issues actually like it's freakish to have problems!

Yep. I wouldn't go onto a thread asking for help for anxiety for example just to say:

"I'm not anxious at all! I'm so calm- dont really know what you're all complaining about".

🙄

That's because some of the problems you are describing aren't normal age related problems. Having to pee every half hour but not feeling finished when you do, is not something that's an inevitable part of ageing. It's far more likely to be a symptom of something else. Either a UTI, muscular degeneration or possibly something weight related. I went through awful issues like you describe when I was in my late 30s. I always had to pee, I never, ever felt finished, I even started to have some spots of leakage. I assumed it was age/child-bearing related and so I suffered needlessly for the best part of a year. I was over-weight, compounded by the fact that many of my clothes were too tight and my whole core had gone to shit.

When I lost weight and got fit, the problem went away. I went from someone who had to stop twice on a two hour drive, or couldn't go to the movies as I'd need to go pee repeatedly and was still in constant discomfort when I was 38-39. To someone who could jump on a trampoline for literal hours (it's how I got through winter 20-21) and drink several litres of water while I did, without ever needing to stop to pee, when I was 42.

It's not that people have not had issues, it's that we know that certain issues are assumed to be normal/age related when they aren't. Diet and lifestyle are the biggest cause of these types of issues. Menopause is real and definitely an issue, but attributing absolutely every issue we have to menopause means that a lot of the time, we suffer when we don't have to.

My Gynae prescribed Hydromol ointment as well, it's the best moisturiser I've ever had! Also use it for dry patches anywhere on my body. I also use use vagifem pessaries twice a week and Ovestin cream twice a week.

Just a heads up for OP and anyone getting symptoms down there, get yourself checked for Lichen, I didn't know I had it. I'm on a steroid cream now for it.

This. Well explained. I only commented because other posters were assuming all this is inevitable. It is really not.

Sorry @OptimismvsRealism but your way with words in your first post really made me laugh 😂
I too am mourning a previously bouncy vulva!

I am pretty sure it's just a reduction in natural hormone levels. I'm not fat, go to the gym most days, eat a sensible amount of protein, plenty of water. I could do more pilates. But actually hormones dropping in your forties is pretty normal.

@MissyB1 - LICHEN????

That strange amalgam organism of algae, fungus and yeast that grows on rocks and stuff??? Are you shitting me?

Fucking hell, that’s a whole new nightmare scenario for my nethers I’d not imagined.

It will be moss next.

God, SAME. And I have lost my sex drive - and even if I was going to have sex, which is unlikely as the dating apps are a complete shitshow, then I'd be too anxious that my post-childbirth menopausal vulva and actual pubes (as I really can't be bothered to do the whole shaven haven thing) would put men off. It's not really an issue though as, so far since separating from my husband two and a half years ago, I've not met a single man I've actually fancied.

Keeping things a bit natural is sensible from a herpes point of view so never let anyone tell you you are wrong!

I agree. I'm not overweight either, also go to the gym most days and eat sensibly. Despite this, there are definite changes within my body and they're just down to ageing. It's much harder to actually stay slim and fit now, for a start. I need to pee more, and also the wear and tear on my joints (not helped by years of running to keep fit) is causing me knee and hip problems now. However hard you try, fitness and a good diet (and botox!) still can't hold back the ageing process.

I just have this vision of falling into bed with a man, him ripping my pants off and going 'bloody hell, I've not seen a bush like this outside of a German porn film.' Which I do feel might kill the moment. But the effort of constant hair removal is something I just can't get on board with.