Help me annoy our neighbours

[NeighbourTrouble63]

Lighthearted (ish!)

I don’t say this lightly but we have the most truly horrible couple (‘young professionals’, although they don’t act like it) that I have ever met living beside us - even since the day that we moved in they have completely blanked us, anytime I have simply waved over or said ‘good morning’ I get ignored. In the 4 years that we have lived here neither of them have ever even made eye contact with me. It is bizarre and I have no idea what their problem is. I feel like they automatically see us as below them since we are renting (I have just gotten through a messy divorce, it is only my very sensible teen DD and I living here)

They have constant, wild parties going on into the small hours. It’s a 1930s semi so very poor sound insulation - we hear everything. I went round and politely knocked their door one Friday party night as DD had just had an operation and really needed her sleep - the door was slammed in my face. Their Range Rover (definitely heavily financed) is constantly parked right over the pavement, forcing buggies and wheelchair users onto the busy road.

They are vile people and I want a petty yet harmless way to get my own back when we move out in a few months. Any ideas?

Get yourself a tin of the rotting fish Swedish delicacy Surstromming. A small amount down around the doors and infront of the wipers, as well as through the letterbox will create a vomitorium for all to marvel at. Ensure you do not become a victim yourself. Or just open it and chuck it in their garden.

Omg they sound just like some neighbours I used to have. They had these horrific karaoke type parties about twice a week when they had loads of people round screaming along to Abba etc. I got so sick of it I recorded them through the wall so I could play it back to them and show them what I was putting up with, but they moved before I plucked up the courage to do it. I also fantasised about playing it back to them on my Bluetooth speaker through the wall - I mean, they could hardly complain about the sound of their own voices! That’s what I’d do if I were you anyway - record the noise from one of their parties and leave it playing where they can hear it - preferably through the wall if your properties are adjoining and then hopefully it won’t disturb anyone else and you can just leave it on for them alone to enjoy when you go out.

Love this, fuck shit right up, dark.
My neighbours are so bad at the moment, I suggested this to some friends. Plant knotweed in the garden where our houses join. Yeah, it'll take me down, but those fuckers will be coming down with me

Apparently you can report cars to 101 or your local police, that are parked blocking pavements and forcing prams and pushchairs into the busy road.

Be the bigger person and move on. Leave them to their petty behaviours and hope that the person who moves in after you either has equivalent noisy parties and behaviours or finds other ways to deal with them - it won’t be your problem.

THIS..... IS GENIUS.

Gather a load of dog shit and spread it around their front garden,and through the letter box as you leave.

Teletubbies 😂

I’m Scottish , perhaps bagpipe lessons at home for your daughter 🤨 or practice tap dancing 😉
My neighbours are generally quite friendly , thank goodness 😅

If by keeping up appearances better than myself you mean I don’t look like a chav - then yes, I’ll take that as a lovely compliment!

Good luck Op, tje posters pretending it's okay to be rude and ignore your neighbours,well I'm glad I don't have them as neighbours or have to have anything to do with them in real life.

I understand what you mean about these snooty types.I wonder which of these ideas you'lll choose.
Some of them made me roar with laughter, especially the music throat by Lirtle women, and it sending peiple out of the shop.

I might try that for my noisy neighbours.😂

If you force people to interact with you then the feeling is mutual!

I'm not anti-social but I also don't want to have to deal with my overly chatty neighbour every single time I leave or enter my house. They're ok folk, I'm ok folk, but I'd rather not be too chummy with neighbours.

I’m really confused why you have only commented on the negative comments here. Lots of people have had some very funny and entertaining ideas yet you seem to have only commented on the posts criticising you. Very strange!

There have been 100s of great and hilarious ideas - trust me, I am reading and ‘thanking’ them all!

I won’t however sit here and allow people to criticise me and give nasty remarks for the crime of wanting to live in peace and be neighbourly

You're allowed to criticise your neighbours though?
You have to accept that some folk don't really want to be neighbourly, and that's ok.

You’re leaving in a few months?
Don’t save and rinse out large plastic milk bottles.
Don’t pack those milk bottles with nettles, top up with water, then screw the lids on tightly.
Don’t leave this nettle stew to develop for some months until it is brown and smells strongly of cow manure.
Don’t empty those bottles as you leave, OP.

This. Is. GENIUS

That's not what OP was doing. She's pointing out that if they have vehicles on finance then they're not of the wealth to be looking down on OP for renting!

Chuck Surstromming in their garden. This will not only stink to the ISS and back but will also summon every cormorant on the British isles which in turn, means precision bombing raids of bird poo all over their garden. The benefits are two fold.

I remember once our “holier than thou” churchgoing neighbors left for a couple of days and their kids had a blowout party - huge, cars up & down the street, blaring music, trash everywhere.
The next morning I went into the alley (we have allies where we live) and those little shits had filled my 2 bns with liquor bottles & beer cans.
That, for some reason, made me furious. I took them all out and lined them up in their carport.
Then the other neighbor happened to come out. Same thing — so they lined up all their bottles & cans up in the carport.
Then a third neighbor arrived - same thing.
Before long, those bottles & cans filled their ENTIRE carport.
I knew exactly when the parents arrived home.
I heard the yelling from inside my house. lol

Petty and nuts? Not everybody wants to talk to their neighbours, why you've mentioned that I do not know. Threads like this. Why would you want to annoy them if they've bothered you? You need to grow up and deal with it like an adult not start some neighbourhood war that you won't win and always I enviably escalates to actual crime being committed.

You removed litter from the bin and filled up their parents driveway for them return home from holiday to as a way of responding because you were furious? Insane.

This is literally a crime.

We returned their empty liquor bottles and beer cans.. Their kids were 15 and 16.
There must’ve been 200 kids at the party and 500 bottles and cans, enough to fill 3 neighbors’ bins.
We did not remove any “litter.”
It was the carport in the back of their house, but good on you for bending over backwards to misinterpret what I said.