I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

Obvs the guy is unhinged but I'm surprised at the number of people who find Titanic jokes offensive. How many people on this site actually live in the real world?

You absolutely did the right thing

You totally did the right thing. There are websites now where everything you’ve ever written or done online (including hate comments)even if you delete them! can now be seen by employers or anybody that wants to search for you

so you’ve done what employers are starting to do anyway

any hate will now be seen by anyone who has your email address.

infact there are people taking it to court right now and people not being hired because of how they’re seen online or things they’ve written. Even if years ago.

I saw a women telling another that on a TikTok recently.

so nope. Not 99.9% women. In fact I’ve seen it said more by women to others. Especially recently on social media.

https://airquee.com/en-gb/product/titanic-slide/?v=d3dcf429c679

http://fun-makers.com/titanic.html

Free speech doesn’t include being able to speak with hate.

what he said is considered hate speech. Which is against the law.

you do have free Speech because he WAS allowed to say it. He had the freedom to say it. However the consequences doesn’t stop him from doing it in the first place….

ifs the same as do we have free will? Yes we do. But we have consequences of it too

I haven't rtft but I would probably report it to tiktok

I had a complete thicko of a man once sending me a video of (real people!) being shot on the head and telling me I was next over an online discussion we had about vaccines.

I reported him to police and he was charged with possession of objectionable material and threats. He also made the stupid mistake of trying to flee police (I suspect that was not the only time he had to deal with them) so he was chased for 2 years until they found him and charged him. I also got the pleasure of reading my "victim statement" to him in which I told him to the face that he was nothing to me, because I was a strong and independent woman, but that I was making sure other more vulnerable women knew they had power. I smiled while I was reading it.

So yes, his little tantrum cost him dearly. Most importantly, I was doing it for all the other women he undoubtedly did the same thing too and would not dare to report. He will definitely think twice before behaving like a dickhead again online.

And to the ones who ask whether we are not scared he will find where we live and harm us... let him try, I know where all my knives and scissors live in my house.

Are there jokes about WW1? I mean that's long enough ago it should just be funny now right? I think OP was more thinking that getting kids to pretend they're dying was especially in poor taste. But that's the male sense of humour, you can always tell male comments making a joke of everything. The really bad stuff they know they can't post publicly they joke between themselves about like the police whatsapps about how DV, rape, murder is funny. OP should've just replied "too bad your great-grandfather wasn't a passenger on the Titanic".

You absolutely did the right thing.
if he works in a job where he has a position of power, influence or working with the vulnerable then employers need to know. Regardless of job title the behaviour is of concern

Don't get me wrong, I think it is the right thing, I would still be worried for my safety and my children. It's not very difficult to find people if you really want to.

Are you serious? Of course Titanic jokes are offensive. Thousands died FFS. The ship was built in my home city, by my relatives. Of course I find Titanic jokes offensive, the same way I found the American tourists laughing about it to be an utter disgrace, when we were at the Titanic museum last summer.

The biggest YANBU I've ever given anyone.

Free speech includes “being able to speak with hate” so you don’t have it in your country if you have laws that don’t allow you to say mean things without breaking the law. (Threats are separate from just being hateful).

He's threatening you, I think you should report it to the police. I don't think it is something his employer can really deal with. I hope you are OK, it must have been horrible to read that.

Free speech does not mean that you can say you hope someone gets raped. It means you can sit in the pub and give your opinion on the election without someone listening and coming to threaten you, or to calmly and reasonably talk about whether titanic jokes are acceptable/funny. It is about maintaining conversation not allowing hatred, racism, misogyny

Misogynist lunatic wishes rape and death on OP...Quick look over there folks, someone is offended by a Titanic joke let's all talk about that instead..!
Murdery rapey guy...? Who, where? Titanic! Squirrel!

I would also report him to the police. He sounds unhinged and he might try to come after you when he gets fired. If his response to a comment is so over the top then I dread to think how he will respond to being fired. I don't mean to scare you but please take the precaution of also reporting him to the police. Angry woman hating men like this are extremely dangerous.

Wow. Just wow.

YANBU. I work for a big corporate and we have an ethics policy / code of conduct that everyone signs up to which outlines the behaviours expected as an employee. We also have ways to anonymously report breaches. Something like this would be taken very seriously and I hope he doesn’t get away with it.

The irony of you calling someone else a Karen.
I'm guessing you're either the bloke himself or his wife. If you don't see anything wrong with wishing vulgar violation and fatal car crashes on people then you need looking at because that's almost psychopathic behavior

A tragedy where over 1500 people lost their lives is not fucking funny, and I think anyone who thinks it is is lacking brain cells and compassion. WW1 was also over 100 years ago, are people doing 'comedy' skits with their kids about that on TikTok? I bloody hope not. What about the sinking of the Lusitania? SS Eastland, SS Atlantic, RMS Empress of Ireland? There have been a lot of terrible sinkings where hundreds of people lost their lives, they're just not as well known as the Titanic. OP had every right to state she found this video distasteful, she didn't deserve vile abuse for stating her opinion. (Shock horror, a woman has an opinion! 😱)

So according to you, only if there are relatives still alive does a tragic event warrant any sympathy or respect?

I'm not quite sure what sort of comments this bloke was expecting anyway, "oh look at your kids pretending to drown on the Titanic, you're so hilarious making them do that" um no. Perfect example as well of why men with this kind of "humour" could easily escalate into actual threats, sociopaths that they are.

I literally said he was unhinged. Some of us have the brain span to talk about more than 1 thing at once luckily, and also good thing it's an Internet thread not an exam question about a set topic!