I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

You did the right thing.
Some men just hate women having an opinion on anything. I regularly get death threats from men if I ever dare to comment an opinion under a news article.. not even in reply or directed at anyone.. just an opinion.. you can bet I'll get at least one abusive message in my in box from a random man about it.
Absolutely get these twats reported abd facing some real consequences whenever you can.

Isn't this what incels say??

It's not a slippery slope, if a company has a policy that states an employee must conduct themselves in a certain manner and they fail to do that, whilst openly advertising the company they work for, they can be dismissed/disciplined.
Scenario: If they company chooses to ignore, and later down the line this man did rape an employee, or threaten them with rape they would be liable for not investigation this complaint. You can see many tribunal rulings where people have been dismissed lawfully due to their poor social media conduct.

I think the line is somewhere between not being an AH by threatening people with rape on socials whilst providing 0 workplace anonymity, and behaving like a decent human on socials.

I thoroughly dislike the idea that women shouldn’t feel able even to say something mildly negative on social media for fear of being told they should be dead. How awful. We should NOT be putting up with this. That’s why so many of us think the OP should report all over the place. If behaving like that led to consequences, fewer men would do it.

You are very very wrong, as many posters have pointed out to you now ….. just please drop it.

Weird, it's almost as though the OP asked for opinions, and I responded.

Why do you want to see them privately??

I would have just blocked them and moved on. Are you not worried that if he loses his job he might come and find and harm you?

@GinAndJuice99
Why would his employers be builders?

And even if they happened to be, why wouldn’t they “give a shit?”

MN head tilt

Or escalate his aggression if he gets away with this shitty behaviour, more like... OP, you did the right thing 👍

The video sound in bad taste but it’s TikTok.🙄

Comment could be seen as a tad sanctimonious but nothing merits that response.😡

If he’s messaged you privately that could complicate use of the employer’s social media policy.

This definitely sounds like one for the police - totally unacceptable behaviour!

Good for you op. He wants sacking (and reporting to the police)

At what point did I say that?

OP escalated it without any thought as to the consequences, and now she's worried about the consequences.

I'm advocating thinking before acting, not after. I'm a little confused as to how that wasn't obvious.

You did the right thing. The man sounds a danger.

You should report him to the police too.

I see I’m not the only person to correct you on this but I can assure you that conduct online can indeed lead to action. A quick Google will show you multiple cases where professionals such as doctors, nurses, social workers and solicitors have not only lost their jobs but also been struck off by their professional body due to conduct on social media.

Please report this to the police OP.

Yeah I mean I feel torn, I agree with you on it being pretty vile to re-enact but agree with others that someone that would do something like that is not worth arguing with as they inevitably will be a nightmare. Definitely right to report to his employer though.

The majority of the time they are family. What do you think will happen to him?

@Change2banon because the OP wrote this..

“i do have the screenshots from this whole thing if anyone wanted to see them privately but they have my first name in (as it’s in my user) and his full name so hesitant to post them.”

🙄

I totally agree. I went through a phase of watching a lot of TikTok and commenting a bit, nothing particularly controversial and I was always careful to be measured and calm in my comments, never rude. But I got some utterly awful things said to me (albeit nothing as bad as those the OP received, which is just horrendous). Some of the people in there are really problematic, whether they are doing it for likes by being controversial or are genuinely vile people, its just an awful awful place. In the end, for the sake of my mental health, I deleted the app. I have not missed it ONE BIT.
I think you did the right thing OP, these people
have almost become detached from reality that they feel it’s fine to say these things. It’s never acceptable and anything that can reinforce that point is a good thing.

I assumed the exact same when I first read the post. Builders, employed by family or friends..

Unfortunately they’re probably sat in the pub right now laughing about it with shit eating grins on their faces

Whether he agreed with your comment or not is irrelevant, so this is not about whether you should have made it. TikTok is a public forum where he was inviting comment.

His response was despicable and nothing you could ever have said is justification for the abuse and threats you got. I hope you reported him to TikTok, too, and have also made your profile private (is that a thing on there?)

It may take a while for his employers to pick up your complaint and work out how to respond, but you did te right thing. Don’t lose any sleep over it.

On behalf of women-thank you. It’s never ever ok to say “I hope you get raped” and all the other awful things he said which were clearly meant to put you as a woman in place for dare speaking out to a BIG IMPORTANT MAN BEATING HIS BIG HAIRY CHEST.

Fuck him. And youve probably done his employer a favour -who would want such an abusive toxic individual who is verbally violent & threatening working for them

I'd probs not have got involved in the first place tbh but his response was vile and disproportionate. He was defo the bad guy here. However, I've gotta say I really dislike today's general culture of reporting people to their employers.

No doubt he shouldn't be bringing his company into disrepute by acting this way when his employer is clearly visible on his profile but let's not pretend that people report these things out of concern for the reputation of the company/as an act of goodwill. They do it vindictively.

I'm often driving trucks and vans with our clients livery on and people are so quick to report you even when they're in the wrong. I recently had a woman blocking the entrance to one of our sites (parked right in front of the gate to get a McDonald's) just before we were expecting a delivery who would drive off if not unloaded in 15 mins - would've cost literally thousands if we'd had to get all the contractors back in on another day due to not having the materials. She was enraged at my insistence that we couldn't 'just wait for her to collect her order'. 🙄

Many other similar instances, often involving irate members of the public who'd parked in a clearly marked loading bay and were furious that they were now blocked in by a lorry that wasn't prepared to move halfway through a delivery to let them out.

So I can't feel sorry for this guy but I hate people that try and take personal arguments to an employer. I always counter report them if I can (e.g. if they're wearing an obvious uniform or lanyard). Luckily, most calls come through to my mobile as the fleet manager so I get to have some fun lol and usually the other person comes off worse if I manage to report them back.

Well done ! 👍