I’ve reported this TikTok psycho to his employer?

[DolceGoldie]

I’m not sure if I should’ve done this and I’m having some regrets now. Last night, got into a bit of a spat on TikTok my first ever and I’m embarrassed.

Saw a video of a man building a “titanic” slide for his kids where he got them to slide and then pretend they were dying. Lots of comments, and in my wine and emotional (period) state I commented that it wasn’t really funny as over 2000 people died in the titanic including children. That was it.

Two hours later check my phone and he’s sent me a barrage of abuse, including saying I should shut my mouth, get my face to take a shit? And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”. Truly vile in comparison to my comments about the titanic. He had blocked me so I couldn’t respond, not that I would’ve wanted to instigate it or bothered.

So I go onto his page to have a nosy, and he’s got his full pics and videos of him playing with kids, and videos of him working for his employer including a badge and their name- so in my fury I emailed his employer telling them that this kind of person is saying these things and representing their brand and that violence against women even suggestive isn’t on. I attached a screenshot of some of the comments.

Now I feel a bit stupid and nervous this morning as it was only a TikTok spat and I’ve escalated it, at the same time why do men get away with speaking to you like that? I didn’t have anything identifying in my email or TikTok to my name or location.

I'm a fan of respectful humour, but still quite taken aback by the Titanic pearl clutchers. I mean I wouldn't think the Titanic slide theme was funny or cute, but to get actively offended about it is a whole other level.

However, I'll leave it there, as I genuinely don't believe you or any of these people function well in real life if you go about clutching your pearls over a historic event from ages ago that people literally made a superficial romantic movie about.

Probably that person who always has an issue in social circles, raises sniffling complaints in the workplace/office, needs to speak to the manager in stores, etc

You did the right thing, and this is the kind of level where you would also be entitled to go the police with what he has threatened you with.

Why, just why? Symptomatic of the sick times we’re currently living in. Of course it’s outrageous but I’d never argue back with someone like that, what’s the point. You got the outcome you could perhaps expect, horrifying though his words are. I’ll never see it because I’ll never sign up. I doubt on your deathbed, anyone will have massive regret not being on TikTok!!

Please tell me you also sent his employer a screenshot of where he clearly shows who his employer is? Because if not, then they won't be even remotely interested

@Notwhatyouwanttohear Victim blaming really isn't cool

This. His messages directly threaten you

Wow what an awful response back from him.

Hope you’re ok OP. That would have scared me.

@Redcar78 This is absolute nonsense! He showed where he worked on his TikTok account and then behaved appallingly!! This is bringing the company into disrepute which is gross misconduct!
Also many companies have a policy whereby if you are arrested and charged with a crime, regardless of what it is, it's instant dismissal

And then he hopes I die in a fatal car crash and that I get raped and murdered and that I’ve made a “fatal mistake”.

You were reasonable. And now you should be reasonable again and report this to the police.

@Redcar78 Just stop. What you are saying is simply incorrect! Just because you think^^ it's right doesn't make it right

It's good you reported him. I'd report him to TikTok too

Victim blaming of the highest proportion, wow.

Would he have responded to criticism from a man in the same way?? Absolutely not! He needs to learn that this is not ok. If he'd said something racist or anti trans it would be classed as a hate crime! Yet it's fine for women to be spoken to in the same way. Well done for standing up to him on behalf of the rest of us women. It's unlikely that he will lose his job, but he might get a written warning or sent on diversity training. That would be an achievement. Even if no formal punishment, just the fact that someone that he knows knows what he's like might give him pause for thought.

@Zebrasinpyjamas

The thing is when someone puts themselves ubove parapet,
then of course means,
not everyone is going to agree with your opinions or take on life on a particular situation etc,
that's just life,🤷

He is emotionally immature man child rage,

How dare a female member of the population 😤 speak out of turn,
and disagree with my opinion,
I wonder if he would he have spoken to a man in that way then?
I bet he would either of thought twice and refrained from talking like that,
or
he would have just wouldn't have have been quite as abusive,

My advice to Titanic blunder twat man 👨 if you can't stand the heat,

don't cook in the kitchen in the first place then, that saying springs to mind,

@DolceGoldie

Good for you standing up to a epitome of man child turd like that....

Just showing you work somewhere isn't enough to get you fired. It's very difficult for employers to take action on what someone does outside work and rightly so.

OP didn't mention anywhere him belonging to a professional body, try again 🤷‍♀️

By your logic, if I'm clear in my policies that you're not to eat fish on a Tuesday then it'd be fine for me to fire you if you break this rule 🤦 even if an employee has been charged and convicted of a crime outside work a company isn't legally entitled to just automatically dismiss someone because of it. I'm not saying I'd want to work with someone like this but it's very unlikely an employer would be able dismiss on the back of OPs email. You may not like it but that's life. We once had a convicted paedophile working for us, we knew because he told us and our lawyers wouldn't let us dismiss. His name was in no way linked to the company, we had no children in the offices so no safeguarding concerns, in short we had no legal reason to fire him, the fact we didn't like him or what he had done wasn't enough.

So despite multiple posters pointing out that you are wrong to say an employer won’t care and can’t discipline someone for their conduct outside of work, you decide to nitpick at my (entirely correct) point about members of professional bodies. It may or may not be relevant, we don’t know if the man in question has a professional qualification. It was still pertinent to your claim that what he did would have no impact on his job. I also mentioned that many employers have codes of conduct for social media use. Just give up and accept that you were wrong.

Obviously the bloke is a giant twat and I think reporting him was the right thing to do. Having read through the thread I can't remember now if he's also been reported to the police, but if not, I think that's worth logging - just in case.

I don't like the Titanic slide trend and the image of the inflatable Titanic as a child's toy is mind-boggling. There's not an inch of me that would ever consider something like this.

But I also don't think it's horrendously shocking. We have films based on the Titanic and other disasters - that's essentially using tragic deaths for entertainment purposes... I don't think what he's doing is any worse. I think if he was mocking people that died or laughing at their misfortune, then fair enough, but he wasn't.

Tutting and being preachy isn't really helpful. It's not about silencing women, the same applies to men. Either report the post to TikTok or whatever platform you're on, or just scroll past. There's a whole world of content out there, and you're not always going to like what you see. Commenting just invites negativity and doesn't really help anyone. Leave this kind of shit to those who are enjoying it, or report the post if you think it should be removed.

I think Stephen Fry had it right. We all get offended at different things, there's no "right" answer. Declaring your offence doesn't really help anyone, imo.

Obviously goes without saying that nothing excuses his response, which is absolutely vile and deserves to be taken further.

What a pig ! You did the right thing

You may not like it but there are protections in law for ex-offenders with spent and unspent convictions (with the exception of specific professions and roles). That has absolutely nothing to do with the matter at hand, ie the sending of malicious communications which can be directly linked to the employer. Dismissal is unlikely on the basis of one incident, sure, but this is unlilely
to be an isolated occurrence.

Please just accept that you are misinformed and give it a rest.

@Redcar78

You’re entirely wrong. Almost all employers now have a social media policy, and if you breach it badly enough then it is gross misconduct. You can be fired pretty quickly for gross misconduct, as long as they follow the disciplinary procedure which is usually just a suspension, a disciplinary meeting and then dismissal.

You can absolutely be fired for your behaviour in social media, outside of work. Especially if you have made your employed identifiable so they are linked to your behaviour.

What you’re saying is wrong. So just stop.

Victim of what?

He doesn't know who she is or what she looks or where she lives. What is she going to say to the police?

Are you serious? Do you know how both the internet and the law works? Because with the former it’s easy to gain enough information by a bit of googling and backtracking even if you think you’ve covered your tracks enough. Look at the op - she managed to quickly find out where this abuser works and message their company. And making violent threats on the internet is still making violent threats. Many people can and have been prosecuted for their little angry moments they ‘didn’t actually mean’.