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AIBU?

My partner breath always smells what do I do?

149 replies

strawo · 28/01/2024 15:03

He apparently brushes his teeth at work and sent me a photo of his tooth brush and tooth paste at work saying he works with the public ofc he brushes

Yet he stinks all the time; he smokes and doesn't have a good diet

He only has a handful of back teeth and all have fillings.

Surely he is lying about brushing or doesn't brush properly? How doesn't he know how to brush properly

I made a joke saying that's not long enough to brush your teeth to him then finally snapped and said you need to brush each tooth? And yet he got so defensive and said he does that was just a quick brush

But he smells so bad all the time. What do I do?

OP posts:
Teder · 28/01/2024 15:04

Encourage him to see a dentist and hygienist. Does he floss?

Teder · 28/01/2024 15:04

Also how are you bringing it up? Gentle and kind is the best way to approach it.

strawo · 28/01/2024 15:07

@Teder I started off with a gentle and soft approach but then on days he didn't work he didn't brush so I wasn't so gentle I told him I'd never expect him to kiss me if I hadn't brushed all day

He just went to the dentist the other month and got a new filling and it did improve but it's like he already needs another one which makes me think he cannot be brushing correctly or is lying about brushing his teeth

OP posts:
Thehamsterthatcametotea · 28/01/2024 15:09

He smokes, has a bad diet and has poor hygiene. Of course he stinks.

Ginandjuice57884 · 28/01/2024 15:09

Smoking and gum disease I'll bet. Doesn't matter if you brush. Some people are more prone to gum disease than others but smoking makes it worse for sure.

IncompleteSenten · 28/01/2024 15:10

Tonsil stones smell like literal shit. Could that be it?

And refuse point blank to kiss him any time you lean in and he sticks.

Grimchmas · 28/01/2024 15:12

What do YOU need to do? Nothing apart from refuse to have your face anywhere near his until he sorts it out properly. How can you bare to kiss a smoker anyway?

What HE needs to do is ask his dentist why his breath smells, and have an appointment with a hygienist who will teach him properly how to brush his teeth and floss.

Speedygonzales78 · 28/01/2024 15:12

Brushing alone is not enough, he needs to see a dentist who will refer him to the hygienist who will give his teeth a really good clean and get around d the gum line and between the teeth. After this he needs to use the silicone mini brushes and floss every day after brushing.

KreedKafer · 28/01/2024 15:13

The thing is, though, bad breath isn’t always caused by dental hygiene - things like tonsil stones, for example, aren’t anything to do with brushing teeth, but they make your breath reek. Things like sinus problems can also cause bad breath, and obviously smoking. Every time he breathes out, he’s breathing out air from lungs full of tarry gunk. That will tend to smell. Lots of stomach issues also cause bad breath, or eating certain foods or certain diets. So he may well be brushing his teeth perfectly well but have gross breath for other reasons that brushing won’t fix.

Perfect28 · 28/01/2024 15:18

Are you saying he doesn't have a toothbrush at home?

HowDoTheyGetThroughLife · 28/01/2024 15:19

Does he brush his tongue? He should.

Supernanny84 · 28/01/2024 15:23

I had exactly the same issue with my dh.
Non smoker but his breath was awful, used to make me feel sick if I was in the car with him. I knew it was affecting his work colleagues too.
He finally went to the GP after an absolutely awful experience on a flight. I'd already sat down whilst he put bags in the locker, as soon as he sat down a man behind us started (loudly) saying there was a smell. Was saying it was b.o then said "it's him he stinks"
I knew what it was obv but my dh was either in denial or oblivious. I spent the whole flight not speaking to him so as he wasn't breathing fumes and crying when he fell asleep I was so mortified.
He finally went to the GP who gave him antibiotics as it was stomach related.
It's horrible but you just have to be honest.

Menora · 28/01/2024 15:24

I broke up with someone over this it was like a poo stench it was awful. I think it was stomach related in his case he was always belching

Bex5490 · 28/01/2024 15:25

Kindly tell him and make him go to the dentist/ GP.

Notthesameasitwas · 28/01/2024 15:25

So he only brushes his teeth when he works? Doesn’t he have a toothbrush at home? Very weird. What does he do on the weekend or his days off or before bed? Gross! Of course that’s why his breath smells. Plus he’s a smoker!

PollyPeep · 28/01/2024 15:56

Would he be open to trying a tongue scraper? You can get metal ones on Amazon and they're the key to good breath really

ginasevern · 28/01/2024 16:27

Why does he only brush his teeth at work? I think he's obviously lying and doesn't brush his teeth at all. Sending you a photo of the brush and toothpaste is literally weird. What sort of general hygiene was he brought up with?

I would get him a GP appointment. I smoke but my breath does not stink. I suspect there's is something else going on. I still don't see why he can't just brush his teeth though.

ManchesterLu · 28/01/2024 16:28

If he only has a handful of back teeth, and even those have fillings, I don't think his brushing routine can be all that great. A picture of a toothbrush doesn't mean you use it. There's not a huge amount you can do if he's not going to do anything to change things.

Bex5490 · 28/01/2024 16:52

@strawo What does he say happened to the teeth that have fallen out?

madeinmanc · 28/01/2024 16:55

If he didn't brush at home them he probably doesn't at work or he's in denial and his brushing is inadequate, like when people stick their hands under the tap for a second without soap and think they've washed them.

strawo · 28/01/2024 17:38

@Bex5490 he said his back teeth had to be removed at 15 because he grinds his teeth that much they were mush - I don't believe that one

Then his fillings he said because he eats so much sugar which I have a sweet tooth and I'm only 2 years younger and have no fillings at all. I also have weaker teeth and gums I don't think he does

OP posts:
strawo · 28/01/2024 17:39

@madeinmanc he was so defensive about it but he's so defensive in general. He said he cleans his teeth twice every day but when I hear him brushing at night it's under a minute if that and honestly I don't know how he can brush all his teeth in that time

His parents house is actually really unhygienic the more I think of it. They have three cats and the smell is really bad there bathroom is just hair everywhere and there tooth brushes look gross too

His dad always has dirty hands and nails

OP posts:
strawo · 28/01/2024 17:42

@ManchesterLu that's exactly what I think. I have a bad sweet tooth yet no fillings

He doesn't floss at all. And is finished brushing in under a minute

I gave him the ultimatum I'm not kissing you unless you've brushed your teeth properly and I said I'd eventually leave him if it doesn't improve

When his mum added me on Facebook there's videos of him and his ex and she doesn't look like her teeth are brushed either so maybe he just expects his partner to be okay with it. But I've said to him and we haven't kissed properly in some time, I just can't bring myself to do it

OP posts:
strawo · 28/01/2024 17:44

@ginasevern what would you think is causing it?

I know my friends smoke and they don't smell

I thought sending me a photo was very weird too. The tooth brush looked untouched and the tooth paste barely used

He says he cleans them at work because he likes to have a coffee as he goes to work then cleans his teeth when he gets there. Then at night but you'd never ever think he does.

I think he's lying about cleaning his teeth. When I hear him at night brushing them it honestly sounds like he must only brush the front ones

I suspect by the time he's 35-40 he probably won't have any teeth left

OP posts:
LividBreeze · 28/01/2024 17:45

Ditch him.

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