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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be happy with DD going on this holiday?

114 replies

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:35

Last week my mum and dad took DD out for the day. She’d been asking to see a real castle so they took her to one. I think DD actually had in mind unicorns and princesses rather than a medieval fortress but that’s by the by

Anyway they got back and my mum said she’d had a lovely time and sent me some photos … some were lovely, DD standing in the grounds with the castle behind her, playing in the woods, posing with a cannon etc but some were a bit not quite right … for example DD peering her head into an iron maiden, DD stood looking concerned at a life size figure of a man being pulled apart on a rack etc!!!

I didn’t say anything but I asked DD if she knew what those things were and she said grandad had told her they were for naughty people.

To the point now … they want to take her back for Halloween and stay there for three nights. I’ve read up on it and it has the most awful history and is supposed to be crazy haunted. I know most on here don’t believe in ghosts but I do so it’s a concern for me.

DD has since asked me why the man on the table was crying and why the children were put in the naughty barrel!! I’ve told her it’s all just make believe but I can’t believe they showed her all that! And then to actually tell her what it was?!

OP posts:
Original poster
FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:36

Should add that parents have said the 3 days will be spent going sightseeing to seaside towns etc so AIBU to not want her staying there?

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 02/08/2023 19:37

How old is she?

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 19:38

You don't mention how old DD is, but I'm assuming quite young, in which case, YANBU on the grounds that it sounds like Halloween at the castle will be really scary/aimed at scaring people and not age appropriate.

The ghost thing is ridiculous. If the spirit world want your DD they'll take her no matter where she is.

AquamarineGlass · 02/08/2023 19:38

You haven't said how old she is but it sounds fine to me

NuffSaidSam · 02/08/2023 19:39

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:36

Should add that parents have said the 3 days will be spent going sightseeing to seaside towns etc so AIBU to not want her staying there?

I'd say yes to the seaside holiday, but no to the castle and no to doing it at Halloween. Few days by the sea in October half term, yes.

Original poster
FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:39

She’s 3 and a very sensitive child

OP posts:
ShiteRider · 02/08/2023 19:40

Is it Chillingham?

Ilovepotato · 02/08/2023 19:41

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:39

She’s 3 and a very sensitive child

3 is waaaay to young for any of that!

greenteaandmarshmallows · 02/08/2023 19:42

3 is far too young for that

Original poster
FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:42

ShiteRider · 02/08/2023 19:40

Is it Chillingham?

Yes!! How did you know?

OP posts:
Greenpin · 02/08/2023 19:42

Ask them to stay somewhere else. That's not the place for a 3 year old.

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 19:43

At least she's learning history.

CuteCillian · 02/08/2023 19:44

Initially saw that as 13 and was going to say you were being too protective but 3!!! It's a no from me

Hawkins009 · 02/08/2023 19:44

*didnt realise only 3

GrumpyOldCrone · 02/08/2023 19:45

I think that’s much too young. I’m probably old fashioned but I think any younger than about 11 it’s difficult for children to understand and assimilate depictions of real violence.

EnjoyingTheSilence · 02/08/2023 19:45

What fucking idiot shows a 3 year old torture stuff?!

No way they’d be having her again. Are they insane??

Notimeforaname · 02/08/2023 19:46

If your child wasn't upset/bothered by it then I couldn't see a problem with it.

5128gap · 02/08/2023 19:47

I'd be very surprised if at 3 she was disturbed by an iron maiden and rack unless they were portrayed in a particularly gruesome horror movie style. Most castles just show them as historic exhibits which I'd have thought would go over the head of a 3 year old.
If it was a Tuassards dungeon type thing, there's usually an age advisory, so your parents would be at fault for ignoring that.
As for Halloween, unless an event is specifically targeted to small children, I wouldn't let her go. Staying at the castle for the holiday I would agree to, but I'd ask the GPs to check age recommendations for events and attractions in future.

Mischance · 02/08/2023 19:48

Three!!! - no, just no!

Original poster
FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:49

5128gap · 02/08/2023 19:47

I'd be very surprised if at 3 she was disturbed by an iron maiden and rack unless they were portrayed in a particularly gruesome horror movie style. Most castles just show them as historic exhibits which I'd have thought would go over the head of a 3 year old.
If it was a Tuassards dungeon type thing, there's usually an age advisory, so your parents would be at fault for ignoring that.
As for Halloween, unless an event is specifically targeted to small children, I wouldn't let her go. Staying at the castle for the holiday I would agree to, but I'd ask the GPs to check age recommendations for events and attractions in future.

They had dummies on them covered in blood etc!

OP posts:
Maddy70 · 02/08/2023 19:50

All sounds fine to me. Exactly what I did with my own children

FionnulaTheCooler · 02/08/2023 19:57

Tell them they'd be better taking her to Haggerston Castle if they want to take her away in October. There will be much more there to keep a 3 year old entertained and it's in the same area for the seaside trips they had planned.

5128gap · 02/08/2023 19:57

Oh dear. That was a poor judgement on GP part then. Would you be able to trust them not to take her to gruesome things in future if you told them not to?

MrsSkylerWhite · 02/08/2023 20:00

Yes, too young (for holiday without mum/dad/primary carer too, I think).

ShiteRider · 02/08/2023 20:01

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:42

Yes!! How did you know?

Show quote history

I’ve been a few times. I definitely wouldn’t take a three year old. Not least because the main house / castle is not exactly a health and safety dream.

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