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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not be happy with DD going on this holiday?

114 replies

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:35

Last week my mum and dad took DD out for the day. She’d been asking to see a real castle so they took her to one. I think DD actually had in mind unicorns and princesses rather than a medieval fortress but that’s by the by

Anyway they got back and my mum said she’d had a lovely time and sent me some photos … some were lovely, DD standing in the grounds with the castle behind her, playing in the woods, posing with a cannon etc but some were a bit not quite right … for example DD peering her head into an iron maiden, DD stood looking concerned at a life size figure of a man being pulled apart on a rack etc!!!

I didn’t say anything but I asked DD if she knew what those things were and she said grandad had told her they were for naughty people.

To the point now … they want to take her back for Halloween and stay there for three nights. I’ve read up on it and it has the most awful history and is supposed to be crazy haunted. I know most on here don’t believe in ghosts but I do so it’s a concern for me.

DD has since asked me why the man on the table was crying and why the children were put in the naughty barrel!! I’ve told her it’s all just make believe but I can’t believe they showed her all that! And then to actually tell her what it was?!

OP posts:
ChiefWiggumsBoy · 02/08/2023 21:10

At 3 yes I would say somewhere not geared up for a full-on Halloween stay would be better, but she doesn't sound especially sensitive if the horror stuff was interesting to her!

AndIKnewYouMeantIt · 02/08/2023 21:21

Oh dear. Just googled and saw the dessicated corpse on the rack. To quote the X Factor judges - it's a no from me.

LoonyLois · 02/08/2023 21:27

I just looked it up and there doesn’t seem to be accommodation free for this Halloween anyway. So unless they’ve already booked you’re in the clear!

Glockamorra · 02/08/2023 22:19

If it’s a matter of things (actual concrete things) you think aren’t age appropriate, sure, but you’re not seriously telling me you’re unwilling for your daughter to go on a trip with your parents because you think she’s going somewhere haunted?

truthhurts23 · 03/08/2023 06:18

I would listen to your gut, you're her mother, your instinct is to protect her,

so if your gut is telling you no, listen to yourself

those castles carry a lot of bad residual energy,
so many gruesome things happened there, it is a negatively charged environment
sometimes there can be spirits that will attach themselves to people, especially children who are innocent

if you do end up letting her go , say a prayer of protection over her, ask God to watch over and she will be protected

pilates · 03/08/2023 06:25

No

RichPetunia · 03/08/2023 07:04

I was also coming on to say Chillingham but see someone got there first 😁
I've visited twice. The first time there was a really heavy oppressive atmosphere in a couple of the rooms. Second time, nothing. Wouldn't stay if you paid me.

EdnaMole · 03/08/2023 07:08

Weirdest place in the world. Wouldn’t stay there overnight for love nor money.
I know some adults would love it but not me..and I wouldn’t have a three year old staying there.

FigTreeInEurope · 03/08/2023 07:13

No No No!

thevegetablesoup · 03/08/2023 07:20

Oooh I was there last week, my kids enjoyed it but they are older. There is a warning before the dungeon part explaining what will be inside so that parents etc can make an informed decision and your parents clearly thought it was ok. If they are taking her away you sort of have to trust that they will Make these sorts of judgements and relinquish some control.

UndercoverCop · 03/08/2023 07:23

I wouldn't actually object to the castle, we have an old Norman settlement near us and it depicts similar things. DS is 4 but has been a couple of times, I never tell him it's make believe we talk about history and how things were and are open about that. He also has some books about historical events, WW2, the space race, Crimea, great fire of London, they're told from the perspective of a flea called Vlad they're great. He's a very matter of fact child and I think it's because we are too.
The ghosts thing is utter nonsense.
I can understand not wanting her to go there at Halloween when there will be things like people in costumes and make believe things such as people dressed as ghosts , spooky music etc, which may frighten her.

Oldwobblechops77 · 03/08/2023 07:23

RichPetunia · 03/08/2023 07:04

I was also coming on to say Chillingham but see someone got there first 😁
I've visited twice. The first time there was a really heavy oppressive atmosphere in a couple of the rooms. Second time, nothing. Wouldn't stay if you paid me.

I agréé about the wierd atmosphere in a couple of the rooms.

thevegetablesoup · 03/08/2023 07:24

Sorry posted too soon. However, I wouldn't stay there with a 3yo over October, I think that would be a bit much as they will ramp up the scary stuff. But lots of other lovely places nearby!

RampantIvy · 03/08/2023 07:27

Chillingham is reputed to be the most haunted castle in Britain. I don't recall seeing any dungeons when we last visited which would have been over 10 years ago.

I agree that your DD at 3 is too young for this kind of thing.

gogomoto · 03/08/2023 07:30

Suggest Warwick Castle, my kids loved it there

AllllTheQuestions · 03/08/2023 07:32

@MrsSkylerWhite im surprised you think 3 is too young for a holiday without mum/ dad. I have such fond first memories jd being away with grandparents around this age and I also take my niece away with my lot at that age abs she loves it!

it’s about health attachments and trusting the carers I think

3 is 100% too young for the trip to the castle. What terrible GP judgement. It would make me reluctant to trust them for a weekend away tbh!

Hibiscrubbed · 03/08/2023 07:35

😂 I’m sorry, OP.

It turns out she’s barely out of being a toddler, it’s got gory displays of human torture and execution and your main concern is that it’s ‘crazy haunted’….?! 😂 love it.

NoMoreLifts · 03/08/2023 07:37

RampantIvy · 03/08/2023 07:27

Chillingham is reputed to be the most haunted castle in Britain. I don't recall seeing any dungeons when we last visited which would have been over 10 years ago.

I agree that your DD at 3 is too young for this kind of thing.

I don't believe in ghosts. But children can be scared!
On my niece's reception school trip, they went to our local castle. The guide showed and told them about the oubliette (a deep narrow hole, like a well) that people were thrown in to eat rats and / or die). Prob just the normal talk, but they were 4/5 yo! Many of them were crying by the end and on the way back.
Maybe avoid the dungeon!
Also, saying naughty makes it sound like it could happen to her if she throws food on the floor or doesn't share nicely or something.
Obviously you can't explain time / politics / feudalism / power etc. to a v. little kid.

Shoxfordian · 03/08/2023 07:39

Maybe your parents were a bit misguided but I don’t think a ghost is going to get her

Backstreets · 03/08/2023 07:43

Sounds wicked, I’d love to go
That said, three sounds young. Doubt she’ll get the full implications so hardly unsafe but is it fun for her??

FlamingoQueen · 03/08/2023 07:51

She should have had her Princess castle at aged 3, not a bloody terrifying castle (not being sexist - you said she wanted Princesses and unicorns!).
I personally wouldn’t even be letting her out of my sight at Halloween for fear your parents would take her back to the castle and pretending they were going somewhere else.
I think this is very odd though - why would anyone want a 3 year old to stay at a haunted castle at Halloween? Just odd.

Yusay · 03/08/2023 07:54

No way should she go. That is messed up stuff to show a 3 year old. More importantly it means those in charge of her had zero knowledge of appropriate behaviour with children. Has she had any nightmares since?

As to explaining, suggest you neither lie nor tell her eg just say “It’s not very nice and I don’t want to talk about it, I’ll explain why when you’re older.”

Poor DD. She absolutely should have been shown unicorns and princesses.

Cornishclio · 03/08/2023 07:55

I wouldn't take my 5 year old and 7 year old DGDs to stay in a haunted castle where people are supposedly tortured so it would be a no from me. Maybe some kids would cope but lots are sensitive at that age and it will be decorated up to be scary at Halloween. The seaside town is fine.

namechange55465 · 03/08/2023 07:59

Can they not take her to one of the many castles in Northumberland that's less creepy than Chillingham? Alnwick, Warkworth etc all fine for a 3yo but I'm not easily spooked and Chillingham has a weird feel about it!

JingleC · 03/08/2023 08:01

I came on to say ywbu and then saw it was Chillingham. Having been there loads, it's creepy and makes a big deal of being the most haunted castle. I went to a Halloween thing there as an adult and it terrified me! See if they can take her to Bamburgh instead, she gets the castle experience...without coming out traumatised!