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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not be happy with DD going on this holiday?

114 replies

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:35

Last week my mum and dad took DD out for the day. She’d been asking to see a real castle so they took her to one. I think DD actually had in mind unicorns and princesses rather than a medieval fortress but that’s by the by

Anyway they got back and my mum said she’d had a lovely time and sent me some photos … some were lovely, DD standing in the grounds with the castle behind her, playing in the woods, posing with a cannon etc but some were a bit not quite right … for example DD peering her head into an iron maiden, DD stood looking concerned at a life size figure of a man being pulled apart on a rack etc!!!

I didn’t say anything but I asked DD if she knew what those things were and she said grandad had told her they were for naughty people.

To the point now … they want to take her back for Halloween and stay there for three nights. I’ve read up on it and it has the most awful history and is supposed to be crazy haunted. I know most on here don’t believe in ghosts but I do so it’s a concern for me.

DD has since asked me why the man on the table was crying and why the children were put in the naughty barrel!! I’ve told her it’s all just make believe but I can’t believe they showed her all that! And then to actually tell her what it was?!

OP posts:
Newmumatlast · 03/08/2023 08:05

FrenchBullFrog · 02/08/2023 19:39

She’s 3 and a very sensitive child

Is she very sensitive naturally or because you shield her a little too much? My three year old watches the news with me. That's more terrifying tbh than a historical trip like this

MoralOrLegal · 03/08/2023 08:05

Went to Chillingham years back, it made such a big deal of the "most haunted castle in England" thing that my DD and I pottered around in the grounds (which are lovely) while DS and DW went inside. The wild cattle were amazing, though!

Plenty of other castle/manor places in Northumberland. Family favourites include Warkworth, Bamburgh, Alnwick, Prudhoe, Belsay, Cragside...

LookItsMeAgain · 03/08/2023 08:19

Absolutely not.

You're parents have clearly lost the plot here and forgotten what is suitable for children aged 3 and what isn't. This really isn't suitable.

You need to have a conversation with them and say that perhaps when she is older she might actually ask them to bring her but for the moment, if they want to spend 3 days at Halloween there, that is up to them but they will not be bringing your daughter with them.

Cosyblankets · 03/08/2023 08:30

Just looked it up
It says not for the faint hearted. In which case I'm surprised there's not an age restriction.
They do ghost tours for over 18s

MakeMeShine · 03/08/2023 08:33

Firstly, ghosts don’t exist so that isn’t a concern. But no, it doesn’t sound an appropriate place to take a three year old.

Also I would be wary about labelling her a “very sensitive child”.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/08/2023 08:42

Alnwick Castle and the Gardens would he a million miles more suitable for a child of that age. Their judgement isn't great is it?

WhatNoRaisins · 03/08/2023 08:45

I wouldn't take a 3 year old to see that sort of display, they can be very gory. A beach type holiday with them would be ok, it sounds like their judgement in how to keep her physically safe is ok but not their judgement about what to expose her to.

Googling Chillington, I'd love a trip there (without the kids).

Mirabai · 03/08/2023 08:54

Who are the 73% of posters saying you are BU to concerned about a 3 year old staying at a ‘haunted’ castle for 3 nights?

Have they not read the thread?

Mirabai · 03/08/2023 08:54

Or showing her torture implements

WhatNoRaisins · 03/08/2023 09:01

They're mostly people who have only bothered to glance at the first post.

seafronty · 03/08/2023 09:02

Ghosts aren't real. If they are, where are all the modern ghosts, cutting about in shellsuits and boden sandals?

JazbayGrapes · 03/08/2023 09:25

The grim details will fly over her head at that age. And haunted? Oh please...

Thoughtful2355 · 03/08/2023 09:27

Its Basically a horror show, 3 is too young by far and no i wouldnt be making her stay at a scary haunted house for 3 nights.

JusthereforXmas · 03/08/2023 10:12

I don't think its too young at all to learn factual history. I teach my kids all sort of history including disasters from younger than 3.

I do take issue with the explanation being brushed off as 'naughty'. Thats what will scare a child, not understanding it and thinking it could happen to them if they are 'naughty' instead of having it explain for what it is and that it doesn't happen anymore.

The halloween thing depends, my kids love halloween but there is a huge difference between say 'Halloween at lightwater valley' which we did with little kids vs something like 'PsychoPath' (which I believe is 18+ anyway).

ScarlettDarling · 03/08/2023 10:13

Chillingham castle is seriously spooky. We went to a wedding there years ago and I was really glad that we weren’t staying there.
I don’t really believe in ‘woo’ but when we got our photos developed (it was a long time ago!!) there were loads of white ‘orbs’ in the pictures which are apparently indicative of spirits. There’s probably a far more rational reason for these funny white circles in the pictures but I’ve never had them on other photos.
It’s not a place I’d have thought to take my dc when they were little. Alnwick and Bamburgh castles are fab though.

LlynTegid · 03/08/2023 10:27

Time away with your parents in October, great, just somewhere else so they can visit local attractions.

Whyme83 · 03/08/2023 11:53

I stayed here about 10 years ago and did the late night ghost tour. Very creepy but definitely no ghosts. The house it self is just strange, mannequins, weird collections. Very interesting but odd. I now have a 3 and 5 year old and I wouldn't take them.
It's ok showing them castles and factual stuff but they have such vivid imaginations.
My 5 year old isn't scared of much but she saw a blippy halloween song with a 'micheal Jackson' thriller guy with white eyes. She is now very scared of 'zombies' and some nights it really bothers her.
I

fullbloom87 · 03/08/2023 12:04

It's history. Maybe she's sensitive because you're sensitive and you make her scared of everything.

sillysmiles · 03/08/2023 12:08

DD has since asked me why the man on the table was crying and why the children were put in the naughty barrel!! I’ve told her it’s all just make believe but I can’t believe they showed her all that! And then to actually tell her what it was?!

Yes, I know not the point of the thread, but why lie? Why not tell her in an age appropriate way that it is very very old, nothing to worry about as it is very very old etc.

ManateeFair · 03/08/2023 12:19

I wouldn't worry about the rack and so on. Pretty normal at places like castles, the Tower of London, museums etc for there to be the odd grim thing like that. Pretty sure my mum has photos of me and my siblings pretending to be put in the stocks at a castle on holiday when I was little and I definitely remember going to the Tower of London when I was little and seeing things like the block they used to put the heads on and all that. It's history. Kids are usually quite cheerful about that type of thing.

At Halloween, however, they will probably have lots of extra events and things which will be deliberately scary, and which might be a bit much for a three-year-old, so just say you think she's still a bit young for that and suggest they take her somewhere else.

You are, however, being ridiculous to be worried about ghosts, and you will make your daughter scared too if she picks up on that.

ManateeFair · 03/08/2023 12:20

I don’t really believe in ‘woo’ but when we got our photos developed (it was a long time ago!!) there were loads of white ‘orbs’ in the pictures which are apparently indicative of spirits. There’s probably a far more rational reason for these funny white circles in the pictures but I’ve never had them on other photos.

They're dust particles.

FictionalCharacter · 03/08/2023 12:27

Showing torture instruments and dummies covered in fake blood to a three year old is extremely poor judgement. Telling her this happens to "naughty people" is incredibly stupid.
Your parents have weird ideas about what's suitable for children. I wouldn't let them take her to stay there and would be wary of what they might show her wherever they go.

Boomboom22 · 03/08/2023 12:36

Both you and your parents have confused her and now she believes naughty children might be tortured. Why say pretend when she knows it's not? Madness, truth is best. Also ghosts aren't real but still scary if you are 3!

lucysnowe2 · 03/08/2023 12:44

Yes, I know not the point of the thread, but why lie? Why not tell her in an age appropriate way that it is very very old, nothing to worry about as it is very very old etc

Not sure about the barrel of nails, but a lot of the stories about medieval torture devices are fabrications:

https://talesoftimesforgotten.com/2019/11/11/why-most-so-called-medieval-torture-devices-are-fake/

(the rack seems to be real though, although not medieval)

It all looks v. tacky and gross anyway OP, I would avoid. A seaside trip sounds lovely though.

Why Most So-Called "Medieval Torture Devices" Are Fake - Tales of Times Forgotten

We’ve all heard of so-called “medieval torture devices.” You can find tons of clickbait-y articles online and videos on YouTube and so forth talking about the most gruesome of these alleged devices. For instance, here is a YouTube video from BuzzFeed t...

https://talesoftimesforgotten.com/2019/11/11/why-most-so-called-medieval-torture-devices-are-fake

spinachsmoothie · 03/08/2023 13:08

I'm usually pretty laid back about scary stuff (I also have a 3yo and his favourite film is Nightmare Before Christmas) but I would say no to the Halloween visit. I took my DS to a similar gory castle place when he was 2, too young to have any idea what he was looking at, and I'm not planning to go back til he's a few years older. Lots of kids love horrible gory spooky stuff, it's normal, but a 3 year old who's just starting to really develop their imagination doesn't need that level of nightmare fuel!