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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be very disappointed in teen

109 replies

SoccerMum1 · 15/07/2023 22:17

Am I being reasonable here to be very disappointed in DS14 today, here's the back story

DS14 asked me this morning to fill his water bottle up, and put it into his kit bag for him, as he was off out to play football at a mates house. On opening his bag, I saw a load of fruit which he'd purchased.

I asked him where he'd got it all from, and what he was planning to do with it - he said they were gonna use it to play football with, and to hang in the nets and take shots / aim at, and practise kickups with - DS played this once before at the beginning of the year, and asked to play it again a few months ago which I told him off for, and told him to find another activity.

He said he'd purchased all the fruit yesterday (spend £20 on it) after school, and didn't tell me cause he knew i'd stop him from doing it again, he said it was his time and money, and he could do what he wanted, and that he enjoyed doing it (and I was being a kill joy) and then stormed off, taking his bag with him

Am I being reasonable for being overly disappointed in ds here?

OP posts:
Sauvblanctime · 15/07/2023 22:18

Let him waste his money how he likes

TappingTed · 15/07/2023 22:18

It’s weird but it’s not the worst thing ever is it? He could be doing a helkuva lot worse at 14… choose your battles

LuckOfTheDrawer · 15/07/2023 22:18

I'm not sure - he's 14, it could be a lot worse.

Thunderisntnicebythebeach · 15/07/2023 22:20

My ds 14 told me his mate from school became a df last week end.

Count your blessings op.
Imo.

thistimelastweek · 15/07/2023 22:21

Yes, at his age he should be out mugging old ladies.

Sauvblanctime · 15/07/2023 22:22

Yup. Tbh he could be out shagging girls and being a dick. Kicking fruit is the least of your issues

Wildlyboring · 15/07/2023 22:22

YANBU he should definitely have spent that £20 on cheap vodka.

MirandaWest · 15/07/2023 22:24

What exactly are you disappointed in him for?

4weeknoalcohol · 15/07/2023 22:25

I empathise with you as my teenager keeps ordering stuff and paying for priority delivery. I’ve had to let it go. It’s his money in his bank account. When it runs out though it runs out.

Steakandquinoa · 15/07/2023 22:26

Meh. Sounds fun and harmless, if a bit messy. Not worth moaning about I don’t think.

SageRosemary · 15/07/2023 22:26

In the words of my mother, "wilful waste makes woeful want"

I really am shocked by the responses here. I find this distasteful in the extreme in a time where every second thread on here is about the cost of living crisis and food banks. Couldn't he have used some garden cuttings instead and donated the money to charity.

Lemonyyy · 15/07/2023 22:27

I can’t believe everyone has come on and literally just said “could be worse”. Yes I’d be upset with my kids wasting £20 of fruit, no matter who bought it, we waste so much food in this country it’s disgusting! I do expect my dc to be aware of what’s going on in the world around them.

Madamecastafiore · 15/07/2023 22:27

Jesus, if this makes you very disappointed prepare for when they really really very very disappoint you, because they will. It's teenage boys. They're bellends basically. Just literally don't think, brain isn't capable of rational thought.

NameChange245 · 15/07/2023 22:27

SageRosemary · 15/07/2023 22:26

In the words of my mother, "wilful waste makes woeful want"

I really am shocked by the responses here. I find this distasteful in the extreme in a time where every second thread on here is about the cost of living crisis and food banks. Couldn't he have used some garden cuttings instead and donated the money to charity.

🙄

noglow · 15/07/2023 22:28

Don't sweat the small stuff

Bananaandpecan · 15/07/2023 22:29

I'd be having a word with him about spending that amount of money on fruit to then boot the hell out of it, it must have been a lot of fruit.
Find out whether the other lads are contributing to this fruit kicking or is ds being mugged off spending all that money.
As others said it could be worse and he's obviously having fun but he should buy cheaper fruit and everyone else should be chipping in.

NameChange245 · 15/07/2023 22:29

I think he's v unreasonable and should stop having innocent end of term fun with his mates and instead he should smoke weed and drink cider in the park. I mean, kids today ...

(OP, YABVU. He will stop being open with you if you r this strict.)

Lemonyyy · 15/07/2023 22:31

Fgs it’s not a choice between kicking fruit or smoking weed and shagging about lol

Lemonyyy · 15/07/2023 22:32

Also you can tell a child that you’re disappointed in a choice they’ve made without it leading to total relationship breakdown and them going off the rails….

SageRosemary · 15/07/2023 22:33

NameChange245 · 15/07/2023 22:27

🙄

Show quote history

I am blown away by the eloquence of your response, not.

NameChange245 · 15/07/2023 22:34

SageRosemary · 15/07/2023 22:33

I am blown away by the eloquence of your response, not.

Show quote history

👍

RoseBucket · 15/07/2023 22:38

It is bizarre surely they could find other items to aim at for free, or negotiated cheap, free fruit about to go unsaleable.

WeetabixTowels · 15/07/2023 22:38

I mean as far as teenagers go it’s not the worst thing I’ve ever heard. But yes I’d be annoyed because

  1. What a huge waste on money
  2. Disgusting waste of food
  3. It will leave a horrible mess that will attract vermin - how do they plan to clean it up?
LillyBugg · 15/07/2023 22:39

I swear there were multiple threads about the same thing last year where the poster agonised over letting her child do this. It's a YouTube thing right? Hardly the end of the world.

BiscuitsandPuffin · 15/07/2023 22:40

WTAF of course YABU. Half the fruit in Tesco is off before you buy it these days anyway, he's depriving no one of nothing.

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