I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

Haha, yes! But the idea of eating a fat ball and complaining that it's a bit greasy...

I think it's the squalid scenario in which it takes place that makes it profoundly unsexy - the OP's phrasing reads like a very clumsy male-written smut story. You refer to people 'screeching' about the sex board and it's similar - it wasn't an objection to sex or things that are actually sexy; the issue is when you get badly-disguised men heavy breathing all over the forum with extremely un-erotic fantasies like this one. It doesn't make a person a dried-up old prude to find the idea of taking turns to lick rancid cream off a stripper's knob in public to be gross and a turn-off, you know!

Not actually doing any harm either though is it, this thread

I can assure you I would...and actually have. As a one off...just not worth causing the upset. Serial offender...different story.

Just found it https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1255683-The-Museum-of-Modern-Toddler-Art

I think it is.

It's encouraging perverts, trolls and people who want to be abusive towards the OP with misogynistic slurs.

I mean, the very fact that people calling themselves BigTitsMcStuffin and ShirleyPhallus (those two clearly have something in common) are using it to complain about the sex topic being removed from Trending and make not-very-subtle attacks on female users tells you pretty clearly what the thread's outcome has been... even if you're charitable about its motivation.

And lots of “See! Women are such hypocrites, such double-standards!” in an attempt to deflect from global sex inequality and prevent fruitful discussion about how sexual exploitation falls under MVAWG and contributes to sex inequality.

I'm looking at the somewhat more insidious "see how calm reasonable I am about this and what an irrational harpy you are WHAT ABOUT THE SEX TOPIC AND THE PERVS AND MISOGYNY ON THIS THREAD AREN'T HARMFUL" stuff.

I've just reported the thread. I can't believe nobody else has, but there's been no comment so maybe they haven't. I guess it's up to the control tower.

And lots of “See! Women are such hypocrites, such double-standards!” in an attempt to deflect from global sex inequality and prevent fruitful discussion about how sexual exploitation falls under MVAWG and contributes to sex inequality.

I can't tell if this is serious.

I have. Nothing done.

Leaving it up is a green light to squatters.

I'm only a dozen posts in, but this is glorious. A thousand thank yous.

I don’t think it necessarily is a troll thread written by a man. There are women that can and do behave like this, and recognising this isn’t an agenda against women, and nor does it justify and/or excuse men that behave badly.

The men who lie about women doing this kind of thing vastly outnumber the women who do it. So on the balance of probability, I am unconvinced.

I'm surprised it's not in the media yet.

As I'm sure your aware what you did was wrong. To both your DH and the stripper.

I can see this ending up in the daily fail by the way. And with all the details you have especially with the scratch on the car, your husband would surley recognise it as you

What did you do, Shirl?! Clearly MNHQ have seen the thread if they're removing posts, but presumably they're just hoping for traffic from this one..

i have no idea what the numbers are of women doing this shit versus men lying about women doing this shit. Is that even something that’s been measured/is measurable?

Plenty of us are women and have seen this stuff go on, as well as heard about it from other women 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m not sure why it’s being painted as some nefarious conspiracy imagined up by men.

I can believe it happens, but something about the choice of audience and nature of it seems off to me. But even if it wasn't intended to draw a certain type of person or a certain type of response, it clearly has. It's a how-to whether it means to be or not.

There's no doubt that we do get a number of Herberts here.

The Fiesta comment upthread was about right.