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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
mauricemossmylove · 03/07/2023 11:58

if my OH had given a stripper oral sex I'd certainly think that was cheating yeah, sorry

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 11:58

I would be worried that the stripper would report you for crossing a line.

AnonKat · 03/07/2023 11:58

Classic Mumsnet! She sucked a man's penis and it's not cheating 🤣

It's on a hen night, so it's ok? Laughable.

What if he has an STI?

NeverThatSerious · 03/07/2023 11:58

Can’t believe how many people are saying this isn’t cheating..

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:58

No but I confided in 1 other that I had done it

OP posts:
BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 11:59

Don't tell him and hope for the best, because it would really hurt him. And get some support for your drinking. Or don't drink as much.

OhComeOnFFS · 03/07/2023 11:59

Oh god, what were you thinking? In front of everyone else as well? Is he going to hear about this from someone else? You realise 19 women are now saying "At least I didn't do what OP did" don't you?

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 11:59

Well that’s grim, why the bloody hell would you suck a strangers knob in front of an audience?
Normally I would say that there’s not point in telling your H but if you did it in front of witnesses he is probably going to find out.

SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 11:59

Just take one for the team. Men do it all the time. It’s not right but I doubt they would eat themselves up over it. Excuse the pun.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:59

Maddy70 · 03/07/2023 11:54

I wouldn't say anything it was a stripper not an affair

I'm hoping to hear more of this

OP posts:
Comedycook · 03/07/2023 11:59

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 11:58

I would be worried that the stripper would report you for crossing a line.

Highly unlikely I'd imagine

Hugasauras · 03/07/2023 12:00

This is really bizarre. I can't understand how you find yourself sucking some random guy's cock in a room full of whooping women. But yes this is absolutely being unfaithful and I'd think you should tell him before someone else does.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:00

OhComeOnFFS · 03/07/2023 11:59

Oh god, what were you thinking? In front of everyone else as well? Is he going to hear about this from someone else? You realise 19 women are now saying "At least I didn't do what OP did" don't you?

It wasn't in front of everyone else as such he had a big flag that I was behind

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:01

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:00

It wasn't in front of everyone else as such he had a big flag that I was behind

Show quote history

Is that a euphemism?

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 12:01

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:58

No but I confided in 1 other that I had done it

That was a silly thing to do...still you seem to excel at making terrible decisions op!

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 12:01

SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 11:59

Just take one for the team. Men do it all the time. It’s not right but I doubt they would eat themselves up over it. Excuse the pun.

Really ? Usually if a man gets to close to a stripper a very burly man turns up and throws him out. Unlikely he’ll be fingering and licking a stripper’s ladyparts without paying way more or getting in trouble

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:01

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:01

Is that a euphemism?

Show quote history

No - literal a huge Union Jack flag

OP posts:
LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:01

I wouldn't bother telling him.

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:01

@Lostsoul0307 oh goodness. You need to tell DH. You've definitely been unfaithful. I'm shocked at the amount of people on here saying to keep quiet. How sneaky. How would you feel it he was at a stag and ended up 'licking out' the stripper?

Conkersinautumn · 03/07/2023 12:01

You've the moral compass of an alleycat. Your dh deserves someone with honesty but that's looking that it's not you. If you told someone, it will come out. Because you gave a stripper a blow job in a crowd of people. Class act he married there

FrenchandSaunders · 03/07/2023 12:02

Christ that is some seedy hen do 😮
It is cheating, how would you feel if your DH went down on a female stripper in front of his mates!

NeverThatSerious · 03/07/2023 12:02

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:59

I'm hoping to hear more of this

Show quote history

I expect your husband would’ve been hoping you’d not suck another man’s cock, but here we are.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:02

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 11:59

Don't tell him and hope for the best, because it would really hurt him. And get some support for your drinking. Or don't drink as much.

The drink definitely contributed but honestly it was more how horny it seemed to make me

OP posts:
Ob12 · 03/07/2023 12:02

Classic Mumsnet, "don't tell him" "what happens on a hen stays..." if this were a man, they would be crucified

FrenchandSaunders · 03/07/2023 12:02

Where else has that nasty dick been!