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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
Deathbyfluffy · 03/07/2023 21:52

Stratocumulus · 03/07/2023 11:56

Do not tell him.
What happens at a Hen Party stays at the hen party.
What good will it do to tell him? Assuage your guilt? I don’t think so.

It will just open a can of worms you can do without.
Stop thinking about it and keep busy. Time will dull the memory and probably give you more perspective.

What an awful way to go about life - if a bloke posted he’d licked out a stripper on a stag do he’d get annihilated on here.

It’s still cheating; he has a right to know.
You can’t just put a bloke’s bits in your mouth and it be okay because of his job.

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 21:52

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I was really hoping for a smarter answer than this. But don't worry, BigTitsMcStuffin. I'm sure I'm not the first woman you've disappointed.

Nepmarthiturn · 03/07/2023 21:54

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:14

Jesus fucking Christ.

If my partner put his tongue on anyone else's vagina for 3-4 seconds I would lose my fucking mind and he would be out of here, let alone 3-4 minutes.

You have cheated OP. You have to tell him.

Also, get yourself some new friends whilst you are at it. I cannot believe a group of grown women took it in turns to go behind a flag and lick cream off of a strippers penis. Grim.

Let's just hope he used a portable penis beaker in between. 🤣

Gytgyt · 03/07/2023 21:55

@adviceneeded1990 it was my dad years that told my mum that so true though. I can believe it and I'm not surprised she knew all along. Its easy to get caught up in MN we all do it. I notice there are a lot of people quick to say leave him but woiod they though? Would they hell.

@GirloutofAfrica exactly!

DerekFaker · 03/07/2023 21:55

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 13:03

Please, everyone, stop sharing your own experiences. This is about OP's situation and I'm sure OP really, really doesn't want to hear about all the casual blowjobs you've given. Not in the slightest. Not at all. Nuh uh.

I can't tell if they're gullible or also pervy men.

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 21:58

DerekFaker · 03/07/2023 21:55

I can't tell if they're gullible or also pervy men.

Show quote history

Well, if OP isn't actually a perv, the thread is certainly bringing all the pervs to the yard.

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 21:58

Rosietheravisher · 03/07/2023 21:05

@ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch I just noticed that you called out the bullshit before I did. This thread is very funny but op’s post is made up.

It's kind of funny but the predictable eagerness with which the misogynist posters have leapt on it is also depressing.

TheoTheopolis23 · 03/07/2023 21:58

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 12:01

Really ? Usually if a man gets to close to a stripper a very burly man turns up and throws him out. Unlikely he’ll be fingering and licking a stripper’s ladyparts without paying way more or getting in trouble

Show quote history

Not always.

I know of a wedding that didn't go ahead because the groom to be went down in the stripper (front and back, as someone out it) in front of his father in law to be. He was drunk and high, obviously.

All clubs, venues, strippers etc are different. Both in the UK and Ireland and abroad.

A guy I know who attended a stag do in Ireland with immigrant strippers told me a member of the group fucked the stripper in front of the group - they hired her out to a hotel or something. There are strippers who are really prostitutes too.

Mayorquimby2 · 03/07/2023 21:58

I love the "your punishment is carrying the guilt" justification that always pop up on these threads when women have been cheating.

MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 21:59

Are you this woman??

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH
MasterBeth · 03/07/2023 22:01

Libelula21 · 03/07/2023 16:18

By the sounds of it she was not expecting a stripper to be there. If you’re plied with alcohol all day, perhaps not enough to eat, and surrounded by other raucous women, things can easily develop into a situation you’d have chosen to avoid if you’d had prior notice.

Show quote history

No, there are absolutely no circumstances in which I would suck a stranger's cock in public. Or in private, as I'm married. You are still culpable for your own actions, whether you have been "plied with" (i e. chosen to drink) alcohol or not.

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 22:03

I accidentally tromboned the milkman, should I tell my wife ?

TheoTheopolis23 · 03/07/2023 22:03

squirty-cream-gang-bang-blow-jobs

😂

DrSbaitso · 03/07/2023 22:07

I don't get it. Is PornHub down? Has its userbase devolved so much that it can't work out how to use it? Can they not get their knuckles far enough off the floor to wank now? Why do we get these people here? They have the entire Internet to cater to their needs, but a parenting website full of snapping, farting and massive salads is best for the job?

MissingMoominMamma · 03/07/2023 22:09

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 22:03

I accidentally tromboned the milkman, should I tell my wife ?

😂

Peachtoiletpaper · 03/07/2023 22:09

Whatever you decide to do, the initial post didn't give the indication that it was oral sex for several minutes hidden from the group while you were aroused by this man.

That is why much of the initial support appeared, I expect. You gave the impression you got carried away and did something momentary and stupid like briefly licking off a bit of cream from the end of his knob whilst the others were cheering. Not condoning that if the partner isn't ok with it but make no mistake, 3-4 minutes' of oral sex is common or garden cheating. What the man does for a living is immaterial.

It's also very disrespectful to your husband to laud the man's physicality on here, implying it is better than DH's. How much of of a pig would a man seem going 'I gave oral to a stripper for 3-4 minutes as I was so turned on by her fabulous tits and arse'?

XVII · 03/07/2023 22:13

I dont think the op will be back…

PomegranateRose · 03/07/2023 22:16

BlueLiquid · 03/07/2023 21:37

Well OP, have you told your husband about the cream horn yet?

Cream horn!!! 😂😂😂😂

Crumpleton · 03/07/2023 22:23

TheoTheopolis23 · 03/07/2023 22:03

squirty-cream-gang-bang-blow-jobs

😂

Blow job crew would of had to of been quick, turn your back and that squirty cream dissapears.

FrenchandSaunders · 03/07/2023 22:24

Cream horn 😂

well I love a drink and the first to admit I’ve often overdone it on nights out over the years …. however I’ve still managed to not suck a strippers dick in front of my friends 🤮

TheoTheopolis23 · 03/07/2023 22:25

Whiskeypowers · 03/07/2023 13:45

If this was a man who’d performed fellatio on a lap dancer / stripper there would be 18 pages of LTB

A trans lap dancer?????

TheoTheopolis23 · 03/07/2023 22:28

Wtf were the other hens doing while op was behind the flag for 3-4 mins?

That's quite a bit of time in those circumstances.

Arewehumanorarewecupboards · 03/07/2023 22:31

Not having the guts to tell your Dh what happened but being able to suck off a stripper in public says an awful lot about you as a person.

I’m surprised at the amount of people that are telling you that it’s okay.

OhForFucksFuckingSake · 03/07/2023 22:34

If my husband had licked out a stripper while drunk on a stag do I really would not want to know about it.

As much as I feel confident saying that that is something he'd never do - I'm not so naive as to say it's impossible.

I also feel pretty confident in saying that if he did do something like that in the over-excitement of the moment, he would feel fucking awful about it in the cold light of day. IMO this would be punishment enough for him.

I'd really rather not know about it. Because if he told me then I'd have to do something about it and go scorched earth and it would be a massive load of hassle and upset for me that I'd rather do without.

If he was having a full-on affair then it would obviously be a different story. But I would be really pissed off if he threw a grenade into our very nice life over something so pointless and stupid.

I think you're just going to have to chalk this one up to experience OP. You might feel shitty, but there's nothing to be gained and much to lose from dumping it on your DH. The shittiness is all yours to live with.

Wife2b · 03/07/2023 22:38

God this is disgusting, what were you thinking?! Not at all classy for a hen party either. Your husband deserves to know the truth so he can decide what happens next. Some posters are batshit, of course it’s cheating.

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