I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

This thread should be in classics

I didn’t just become a little bit of a slag
I became a total slaaaaaggggg 😂😂

PS - I don’t actually think you’re a slag OP 🤦‍♀️ but you’ve had finer moments no doubt.

Need to spread the word around all the husbands I know... apparently you can go down on a stripper and not tell your wife because it won't achieve anything, and as a one-off it's OK... Being honest is just unburdening yourself, which is just selfish.

Free pass guys!

Yes, that was sarcasm.

I don't know what's more shameful... all those saying not to tell him, or the OP listening. It's clear the OP never loved her husband.

I definitely wouldn't tell him
Unless you think there a chance one of the girls there would tell him.

I don’t believe this really happened. And I think op is actually a man.

Exactly.

@ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch I just noticed that you called out the bullshit before I did. This thread is very funny but op’s post is made up.

I suspect this will make the tabloids soon enough, and the OP has given enough identifying information (the text about the scratched car) that there’s a good chance her husband will find out through the press.

Great work all around, OP.

Is the stripper a victim of objectification?

100%! I worked with a woman like this. You said he’d forgotten to pick his socks up off the floor and she was all “oh you’ve got to leave him.”

Her DH was sleeping with half the work place, with her knowledge, very much without her consent. All came out years later when she accosted one of the many other women and was asked why she hadn’t left or given an equal screaming row to her husband. Reply was along the lines of he’s got a high earning job and she likes the lifestyle.

Very different behaviour to the advice given to others. And very much like many on here I suspect!

What do you think, BigTitsMcStuffin?

Shocked people think this is ok . I definitely wouldn’t be ok with DH spending 3/4 minutes licking a stripper’s vulva

Let your guilt be your punishment

100% keep it to yourself. How would you feel in reverse - you'd lose confidence in yourself and trust in him I expect. Your guilt is enough and it's highly unlikely to happen again I would think?

This.

Can I nominate this for classics?

It’s not cheating unless you slip a cheeky finger up his bum hole at the same time…

But seriously, sucking the same knob as your mates? Think of the germs!!

Agree this thread should definitely be in classics. I haven't laughed so much on here for ages.

Have we learned nothing from Covid?!

Is it cheating? (in my opinion)…absolutely. I find the thought of sucking a stripper of vile tbh, BUT, if I was in this situation, o wouldn’t tell my husband.

I would give up drinking however, because honestly, if you can get a bit tipsy and suck a strippers dick then perhaps alcohol isn’t your friend.

Well OP, have you told your husband about the cream horn yet?

Vulva.

must be mn bingo full card now?

I vote no to classics, this really isn't what classics should be about! I also doubt the OP would appreciate this being kept forever for us to laugh at.