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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
historygeek · 03/07/2023 18:30

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:06

I see where you're coming from to a certain extend but this happened at a hen and she's told someone else already so this is just messy now, it could easily get back to DH. It's one of those things that's better coming from the horse's mouth rather than him finding out through someone else. That's far worse. She's done wrong. She needs to be honest then deal with the consequences. Either DH can forgive and forget or he can't but that's on her

For the stripper's sake, I hope OP doesn't have a "horse's mouth".

BigTitsMcStuffin · 03/07/2023 18:36

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Iwantitidontwantit · 03/07/2023 18:39

Not been on mumsnet for a while and forgot how genuinely funny some posters are 😆. The mental gymnastics of those saying this isnt cheating, are giving strong " I did not have sexual relations with that woman" vibes.

BarelyLiterate · 03/07/2023 18:52

Total double standards on MN, as usual. 🙄
we all know that if a woman had posted that her partner had licked a stripper’s tits when he was pissed on a stag night, the overwhelming response would be LTB.

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2023 18:59

Prettylittleroses · 03/07/2023 17:30

This wins the internet for me today, “if I’d have had advance notice I’d have mentally prepared myself not to give a blow job stripper, but I can’t begin unprepared for this difficult situation, I just couldn’t help myself “

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

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This has really made me laugh 🤣

im so happy this thread is still standing

readbooksdrinktea · 03/07/2023 19:00

A difficult situation was sprung on you

Hilarious.

To suck a stranger's cock or not to suck a stranger's cock. You're right, it's completely impossible to decide what to do in that situation.

OP doesn't care, though. It's all good 🙄

Dalekjastninerels · 03/07/2023 19:00

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2023 18:59

This has really made me laugh 🤣

im so happy this thread is still standing

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So am I😀😂

Motnight · 03/07/2023 19:14

This is one of the best threads ever!

Baystar · 03/07/2023 19:22
gavin stacey GIF

O'h yes....

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 03/07/2023 19:37

Gytgyt · 03/07/2023 17:49

Honestly isn't the best policy in this case. Its utterly selfish of you to offload this onto your DH. I personally wouldn't want to know UNLESS it was a full blown affair. Even if you had sex... I would still say the same. Why do you want to cause long term damage in your relationship? Think about this OP......

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Are you joking? How is this a fucking relationship when she sucked a random man’s cock? Of course he needs to know so he can bin her off!!

XVII · 03/07/2023 19:41

Haha op
you’ve done it once
much easier to do it again next time.
oh and I’d bet he did finish but you’re a bit too ashamed to say.

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 20:15

The fact that amongst the outrage there was also disapproving commentary on her poor fellatio skills took me the fuck out. Because it’s one thing to be a vile slag, but imagine being a vile slag that’s shit at blowjobs 😭 The audacity.

JohnnysSoLongAtTheFair · 03/07/2023 20:15

Do you know whether the stripper has any mates who are into angling?

If he does, you’re home free: just tell him you spent part of the night sucking on a Fisherman’s Friend.

Neilsfavouritechilli · 03/07/2023 20:17

Nah I doubt he finished, given his/her supposed level of drunkeness, I suspect he/she had a slobby lick for a few seconds and got hoisted off by the next 'horny' hen. Grim all round whatever happened (or did not happen).

BigTitsMcStuffin · 03/07/2023 20:20

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Snoozysnoozy · 03/07/2023 20:24

BarelyLiterate · 03/07/2023 18:52

Total double standards on MN, as usual. 🙄
we all know that if a woman had posted that her partner had licked a stripper’s tits when he was pissed on a stag night, the overwhelming response would be LTB.

We're you kidding? There women here that would LTB for just visiting a strip club, watching porn, receiving a text from a mildly attractive co-worker.

Cookiecrumblepie · 03/07/2023 20:27

OP don't obsess over this. You made a mistake. Just tell your partner and move on. It was wrong, but you were drunk and got carried away. It's upsetting but it's happened, what can you do now? Just be honest and have it over with. A good partner would be hurt, but surely would see the isolated act in context.

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 20:29

This reply has been deleted

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A classic example of the famous Schrödinger's cocksucker.

Abbimae · 03/07/2023 20:32

What kid of dodgy stripper company allows that? Christ

Mikimoto · 03/07/2023 20:35

BarelyLiterate · 03/07/2023 18:52

Total double standards on MN, as usual. 🙄
we all know that if a woman had posted that her partner had licked a stripper’s tits when he was pissed on a stag night, the overwhelming response would be LTB.

..had licked her front bottom, more like!

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/07/2023 20:38

I’m still laughing here at the MN Pearl clutching brigade calling me and others sluts (I preferred trollop actually!) for daring to say we’d given a BJ in other circumstance than with our DH/DP at home. I wasn’t bragging by the way was just trying to reassure OP that yeah things happen with others and it’s not like she should be eternally shamed and hide away. We’re not in a country where you’d get stoned to death for adultery. Back in the day, yes I was a clubber and yes, the drugs I took then probably obscured my judgment on a few occasions. Hey ho!

My new ex NDN (secondary school teacher) once tried to shock me and my DM when she came over by saying something about anal sex with her DH when she/he got back late, it was meant to be a jokey comment but we were a bit Shock because I wasn’t really in the habit of sharing my sexual habits with NDNs. But these were your respectable married, 1 DC, middle class, him in IT so your MN demographic. Yet obvs their sex life wasn’t vanilla.

XVII · 03/07/2023 20:42

I wonder how many other women there were also cheating….

but even though I think she is a cheating scank I dont think she should tell DH and lets face he might well have shagged someone in the time they have been together

Gytgyt · 03/07/2023 20:44

whumpthereitis · 03/07/2023 20:15

The fact that amongst the outrage there was also disapproving commentary on her poor fellatio skills took me the fuck out. Because it’s one thing to be a vile slag, but imagine being a vile slag that’s shit at blowjobs 😭 The audacity.

Grow up.

Gytgyt · 03/07/2023 20:46

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 03/07/2023 19:37

Are you joking? How is this a fucking relationship when she sucked a random man’s cock? Of course he needs to know so he can bin her off!!

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I'm not debating with you. Most people don't leave over something like this. In fact those that shout the loudest....

Many give advise about leaving but when it's their turning they are not leaving. 😳

Bewilderedandhurt · 03/07/2023 20:46

Was it your love of whipped cream that caught you unawares and the fact his cock went down your throat mearly an accident while you dined?
I'm loving the double standards of 'it's not cheating.'
So many bloke's on stag do's have been berated for less with LTB's as the replies.
This is comical!