I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

I would consider that cheating and it the relationship would be over for me.

But as your a woman you’ll get a free pass on MN.

It really is at times, not all the time but a lot of the time. There’s massive double standards applied and huge generalisations and/or lumping of all men into one pot of cheating, lying, drinking, drug taking, adulterous, aggressive, violent scum bags.

The argument of “well other websites do it towards women” may well be true but it’s the weakest argument. It doesn’t make attitudes on here right.

In context of this thread, whether it’s true or not, it would be like saying OP sucked off a stripper so it’s fine if her DH goes down on a female one. Neither of those two things are fine.

I wouldn't tell him, NOT because I don't think it's cheating (it is and it's horrible) but because it will cause so much hurt and your husband will probably not be able to get over it. If you have a happy life together and children etc.. I'm not sure it's worth all that carnage for the sake of being honest about something so stupid. Especially if it's out of character for you and you really don't believe you will cheat ever again. You will just have to live with the guilt. If you're not happy in your marriage/think you could cheat again, then tell him/leave.

This might be controversial advice but that's my opinion.

This wins the internet for me today, “if I’d have had advance notice I’d have mentally prepared myself not to give a blow job stripper, but I can’t begin unprepared for this difficult situation, I just couldn’t help myself “

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

It was the bit about not having enough to eat thaf did it for me.

How is this thread still here??

A skeezy lying cheating alcoholic is every man's dream wife. It is known.

Cannot believe how different the relies are to this than if it was a man who had gone down on a stripper for a few mins. I would count it as cheating and it would be over.

And the moral of the story is, it's important to know when you open your mouth and when to close it.

For the absence of all doubt, closed when in the presence of strippers and open when being honest with your partner.

So what are you going to tell him

So you assaulted a stripper.
Yes it's horrible just from crossing strippers boundaries (yuck) let alone anything else.

Regardless of your sex, the disrespect this shows to your partner would make it a relationship killer for me.
Luckily I assume this post is not real as people always love to push the idea that women are predatory towards strippers.

If you have spent a day drinking booze and haven’t eaten enough, it’s normal to feel more drunk than usual - most people go for a kebab or something to soak up the booze.

It‘s certainly an unusual choice to nourish oneself by gobbling a blob of Elmlea off a random man‘s erect penoir over the course of 3-4 minutes, which in my mind constitutes a veritable tasting menu of coq.

Your post is literally sandwiched in between one that calls the OP a lying skeevy alcoholic and one that says she shouldn't have done it and needs to be honest so...the replies aren't really all that different.

I keep thinking I'll stop replying because there's no point arguing with posters who have an agenda to push about MN being a hive of man-haters but it's just so bizarre to have someone pop up and complain about how a man would have it so much harder right in the middle of posts condemning the OP entirely. And it's extra annoying when the whole thread is made up in the first place.

Honestly isn't the best policy in this case. Its utterly selfish of you to offload this onto your DH. I personally wouldn't want to know UNLESS it was a full blown affair. Even if you had sex... I would still say the same. Why do you want to cause long term damage in your relationship? Think about this OP......

... tell me how well that level of solidarity worked out in Spartacus.

As well as making my Monday lunchtime it is also making my evening 😂😂😂

So she sucked the cream off because she was starving? If only there'd been a massive salad buffet on offer...

Thank you, thank you.

Maybe a video will show up at the wedding as part of a montage of all the hen & stag best bits.

And because this isn't Eastenders and there won't be a video shown, there will at least be lots of people talking about it. The partners of the other hens will all be nudging each other, "is that the one who... "

C’mon. It was a good enough excuse for Bill Clinton - “I did not have sexual relations with that woman” - about cunnilingus and dubious use of a cigar.

Did he have the hoover out? Because that's the only way I'd find this remotely a turn on.
Your poor DH. If this is true that's pretty grim.
Kind of glad I don't have any friends who aren't now married.

In all my years I have managed to avoid whipped cream covered cocks falling into my mouth.
Perhaps I've just been lucky and haven't had such difficult situations like this sprung on me.

Pahahahaha.

The flag thing is what's cracking me up.If you can't see me it's not happening! for 3 or 4 minutes Unless the flag was the size of king duvet everyone would have seen you from the shoulders down. Unless you were all wearing identikit MN black skinny jeans, nice top and boots for a night out.

No way would I be still in the country going anywhere near that wedding with my DH.

Is he likely to hear this from someone else? For example if a fellow hen told her husband would they tell him? Any close friends? If not I’d stay quiet.

This thread reminds me of that Eminem lyric, “what, she tripped, fell, landed on his dick?”

@adviceneeded1990 yes but wouldn't you he perma-clenched for the moment when someone blabbed?

I think a near death illness on the day of the wedding is the only way to go.

Is that the actual divine Patrick Swayze in the gif @BlueLiquid?