I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

"Slags" - you stupid, stupid man

I can’t get over people coming forward saying they’ve seen similar

I used to date a male stripper - this would of happened on practically every job if they allowed it to, some men did, others didn’t.
To all those disbelieving - this is very normal in the male stripping world! They also get unwanted sexual advances all the time including being groped, it’s known in the industry that male strippers are groped far more than women, who are protected from it.

I personally wouldn’t tell my partner the whole hog, but I would say I get guilty for even partaking, as that’s now a line I wouldn’t even cross. I’d say I went under the flag, did have a lick and stopped. He doesn’t need to know the full thing.
I also get the aroused thing - if people didn’t get aroused why would there even be strippers??!!
Just learn from it OP, I’m sure everything will be fine, and despite what some of these other mumsnetters say, you’re perfectly normal!

„saw this once at the bingo, Enid took her teeth out and went to town on him…“

Yes this is an awful thing to do and if my partner did it I would be very angry and upset but I don’t class this as cheating. Personally I would not tell him unless I knew he would find out!

"Man"? 😂

Are you not a MNer @PookieHook?

Gummy gobbles, did she get a full house?

There was a post a couple of weeks ago about a chap going to a strip club on a stag do (which he openly told his partner about) she said he'd cheated by even going, and a very high percentage agreed it was cheating just to attend a strip club with mates on a stag do and were advising her to LTB, which I thought was ridiculous.

I'm now wondering if SO many women consider that as cheating, because they would be lining up to nosh off a male stripper given the same opportunity? So they think men must be doing the same?

I was vehemently told on the thread that male strippers 'aren't a thing' 'nobody has male strippers anymore' etc etc. which of course is bullshit, but I'm actually amazed that this goes on during hen do's! It's fucking grim.

My thoughts exactly! The mental gymnastics here are impressive.

Would you be angry if he did this? Would you be upset if he didn't tell you and kept plodding along as normal? He has a right to know something like this, whether the relationship continues in light of this behaviour is rightfully up to him, not you. You didn't stop being in a relationship just because you were on a hen night. Unless you had an explicit prior agreement that this behaviour was acceptable in your relationship, you have crossed a boundary, whether you call it cheating or not.

It is absolutely being unfaithful.

Can't believe people would be ok with their DH's giving oral sex to a random woman and put it down to a mistake.

Thank you so much for your input and the balance I've been called everything from a hussy to bloke, to liar this morning

Sorry, but I did laugh at that!

u told him yet OP?

Of the three, only two are true. Guess which.

Well of course I am, but I would actually eat the lettuce leaf

Ick. My response at first was in response to licking some cream off a stripper, not giving him a blow job. 3-4 minutes would be enough to finish some blokes off, so you're lucky you didn't get a mouth full. What was everyone else doing while you were at it?

It's not fine. No one is saying it is. But what good comes from telling him? She isn't having an affair, it's ONE event in a lifetime together where she had a few too many and did something, yes, pretty grim and classless, but ultimately harmless. She will never see the guy again and lets face it, she was pissed as a fact so wouldn't recognise him if she did.

I'd not destroy a good marriage for this. Not even in the name of honestly. She'll be eaten up by guilt regardless, why hurt him too?

I don't understand the amount of women on here spouting that this isn't cheating. She sucked someone else's cock for 4 minutes! (supposedly)

of course its bloody cheating

Good grief, now I know I've lived a sheltered life. I've never been to a party where people licked cream off a total stranger's penis, let alone publicly given him a blow job. I mean, do male strippers agree to this? If men assumed they had free rein to start licking a female stripper's genitals, they'd either be chucked out immediately by the bouncers or would get arrested for assault.

Bingo indeed, but sadly too easy to get the hypocrites to come out and support a woman doing something they would never support a man doing

i guarantee that not a single one of the “it’s ok” posters would say that to a woman who’s partner has done similar

I can well believe this happened unfortunately, I've seen it before 🤮

I think sending the text was a bad move.
It's a really shitty thing you did and you should give him the respect he deserved by telling him to his face, not a crappy text that will now leave him wondering WTF has gone on until he can speak to you, his mind will be all over the place, you've not done this in a good way.

No. I’d find it offensive to be honest and probably have gone to the bar. Tacky and nasty

Apparently it happens all the time according to posters on this thread. Being a grim, tacky fecker is totally common (never come across such things irl).