I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

Please, everyone, stop sharing your own experiences. This is about OP's situation and I'm sure OP really, really doesn't want to hear about all the casual blowjobs you've given. Not in the slightest. Not at all. Nuh uh.

Didn't realise people actually used that term anymore

where do you live? under a rock? 😂

The word is dated, but misogynistic sex shaming has been around since year dot.

@FreyafromLondon

I'm shocked it wasn't already taken to be honest 🍆 💦 💋

20 people in a holiday cottage? Blimey.

😂

OP. did he supply the whipped cream?

Did you have to fill out a dietary restrictions form in advance?

Hoping no dairy intolerant folk were present.

Presumably he was at full mast though?

I'm confused as to why posters are saying this wouldn't happen in real life? I went to a hen do in 2019, where the B2B's MOH had organised three nude butlers, one of whom was the stripper for the night. He did indeed do the cream thing, and there was definitely some noshing going on. The majority of us did not partake as it was beyond cringe, but at least three women did, the B2B, her MOH and a random. The MOH then went on to do some lines of coke and had sex with one of the other butlers, in the bathroom.

This is hilarious...haven't laughed so much in ages. Comments are priceless

Never said I was classy!

It’s amazing the pearl clutching and gasps that go on here and you’d think some women had never seen a man’s naked penis before!

@PrinnyPaupersPurse - was this in France because I don’t think I’ve heard of English or any other countries equivalents being called truck stops but have heard that in France. Very boring rural SW inland but near coast region.

What a misogynistic comment.

Nothing about the guy wanting 20 women to do it. And I'm guessing if it was the other way about, the one woman would still be 'the slag'.

I don’t know if this thread is making anyone else want to heave. The rando body fluids, the whipped cream, the STDs - it’s stomach churning.

OP, I honestly feel that someone who cheats and then shows remorse and comes clean about it is a far better person than those who encourage cheaters not to come clean with lame excuses such as "you're only being honest to make yourself feel better" and "it will only hurt him so don't bother telling him". Truly ridiculous (and I suspect self-serving...) logic there. Please ignore such advice.

I can't pretend that I would forgive my partner for this (though there is extra ethical layer when it's a female stripper imo which I would be unable to get past). But I would at least respect that fact that he was honest.

I always thought it was viagra.

I remember reading an article about the advancement of science had made some people redundant from jobs.
One example was fluffers are no longer needed on porn sets because of viagra.

Lots of fluffers are now unemployed, they dont have transferable skill set 😁

I don't actually need that explaining, but cheers anyway

😂

<insert joke about seamen>

So true. We need to know whether OP was dealing with a flagpole or a mast.

Tell your DH you got a drunk , acted the bollix, pretended to give the stripper a blow job and you are mortified and wanted to tell him before anyone else did. End of. So that if anyone says anything to him he can just shrug and say that yeah , he heard it was pretty wild , make a joke . Hope he will accept your explanation and your true remorse.

I would not view what you did as being unfaithful, more like you made a drunken mistake and acted badly.

So many MNers are going to be put right off the lettuce leaf they sniff for their lunch today

Yep, I agree. Clearly enjoying the responses a bit too much and no longer "please believe me when I say I feel terrible"

Blimey.

I thought that was how one got rid of a skin tag.

Hope the poor penis doesn't fall off too.

Squirty cream strippers were all the rage when my mum was young. She ended up with one pink eye when she got slapped in the face by a flapping peen at a hen do. I fondly remember those days. She always brought me home those little cocktail plastic animal things and umbrellas and candy penises.

On my own planet well away from twats as much as I possibly can actually 😅😅😈 put up with that sort of shit for way way too long.