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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
SapphosRock · 03/07/2023 12:55

Can you screen shot the text taking out any identifying details?

I'd like to see how you phrased it.

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 12:56

Whipped cream? No wonder there is an obesity crisis.

standardduck · 03/07/2023 12:56

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 03/07/2023 12:50

This has definitely happened on a few hen nights I’ve been on and general consensus is don’t break girl code and tell on you. Some even think if they guess or know their DH/SO has done it then what’s good for the goose is good for the gander!

There’s always one who goes too far too!

I haven’t heard of it getting out in my friends group apart from general gossip but I have heard of one friend of a friend who fell out with her best mate and told her DH about such an act who then told his best mate whose was best mate of friend who noshed on stripper’s knob. As far as I know friend who was told on just styled it out denied having done it and as her best mate was no longer her best mate and had always been considered a bitch/liar her DH thought it was all lies.

OP, honestly I personally wouldn’t worry too much about it. I would however be aware that this is and can be the sort of thing than can be gossiped about and dragged up years later so maybe think of an excuse/lie for your DH in case that happens.

I mean if you did tell him why would you tell him, what good what it do? Do you know a good divorce lawyer?

Years ago in my clubbing days I went back with 2 men I sort of knew to their house. One was fairly sexy in fact he looked like Dmitry for Deelite! I ended up giving him a BJ in the kitchen which his mate never saw. However I then stayed with the friend downstairs, “Dmitry” went home and I honestly did nothing. Stayed over no sex etc but he gave me his number on a post it note. A week later I rang it and we ended up dating for about 18 months. I saw “Dmitry” who was his best mate out and about but we never talked about my BJ and I don’t think he told his mate. Yes it wasn’t my finest hour but I’d had Ecstasy and coke and was a bit of a wild child/woman!

If I’d ended up marrying the above man I wouldn’t have told him but equally if his friend had told him I’d either deny or lie. But I wasn’t in a relationship with either then so didn’t really do anything wrong…

I have been on tame life drawing hen nights too!

Wow, you and your friends sound real classy.

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:56

Dalekjastninerels · 03/07/2023 12:53

😂

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You win the thread, @BlueLiquid 😁

Whelm · 03/07/2023 12:57

brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 03/07/2023 12:52

three to four minutes !?

that’s enough to enact a denoument for some guys in the um hands of someone skilled at this metier. quite an investment in a cock I’d say.

3-4 seconds is plausibly a throwaway drunken gobble.

Well, that's the last time I use metier in a job interview.

bibbityboppityboo · 03/07/2023 12:57

ShirleyPhallus · 03/07/2023 12:53

It’s actually not a Union Jack unless it’s at sea though right?

This is what I wanted to clarify 😂

Was it a stripper boat?

OP what you did was disgusting, you surely know that. Also 3-4 minutes is not really a quick mistake, it's honestly grim.

If your husband gave a stripper oral for 4 minutes to get some whipped cream off her minge would you find it so arousing?

Dalekjastninerels · 03/07/2023 12:57

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 12:56

Whipped cream? No wonder there is an obesity crisis.

Only if she swallowed😆

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 03/07/2023 12:57

FreyafromLondon · 03/07/2023 12:32

GRIM 🤮 Sucking off a random stripper that has had all your mates tongues around as well?! Vile.
Also so OP you can't have been that good... 3-4 minutes without stopping most men would ejaculate. Unless he did in your mouth 🤢

Male sex workers train themselves to hold back.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 12:58

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 12:56

Whipped cream? No wonder there is an obesity crisis.

At least it wasn't clotted cream😈😅😅😅

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 12:58

Dalekjastninerels · 03/07/2023 12:57

Only if she swallowed😆

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All that salt is bad for the heart too. The NHS is also in crisis.

MeMyCatsAndMyBooks · 03/07/2023 12:58

This can't be real surely, blowing a stripper for 3-4 minutes? 😂 who even finds a stripper arrousing! Higher your standards op lol.

Carpediemmakeitcount · 03/07/2023 12:59

I've lived a sheltered life.

putthatdownsteve · 03/07/2023 12:59

I went to a hen party like that years ago.

I was single but noped out and went and sat outside because it was so grim.

I saw Sarah from accounts licking someone’s dick before I left. I had to sit across from her in a meeting the next week
and all I could see was her, cream around her lips, top pulled down going at him like woody the woodpecker.

I am no prude but sucking a strippers cock in a room full of friends and work colleagues is a step too far for me.

WildFlowerBees · 03/07/2023 12:59

Christ are strippers still doing the whipped cream on the penis trick? Misses the point. Personally I think you should tell him. Imagine if your partner went to a stripper and gave her oral sex albeit not the full shebang?

Bananabedhead · 03/07/2023 12:59

I think the mums net miss must be on lunch, this thread is lasting way to long, just like OPs blow job

ErniesGhostlyGoldTops · 03/07/2023 12:59

I've been to two male stripper events. The first was just funny. The second, this went on for sure.

strawberrywhisk · 03/07/2023 13:00

Namechange828492 · 03/07/2023 12:52

I don't know one friend let alone 20 that would publicly lick a cheesey community dick.

FYI OP this is not what women do on hen dos🤣

I've known a few

Bananabedhead · 03/07/2023 13:00

Miss = mods

Purtyburty · 03/07/2023 13:00

My instinct tells me this story is a wind up! You were behind a flag for 3-4 minutes and nobody knew what you were doing?

If not, then yes it is cheating, and I would have to tell my partner. I can see you have messaged your DP- let us know how it goes.

IAmAnIdiot123 · 03/07/2023 13:01

Bloody hell OP! I'm very chilled about a lot of this sort of thing (probably because my partner isn't a man who would ever watch a stripper and we have been together since we were teens so never given it much thought, but still) but I would go absolutely ape shit if I found out he had licked cream off of a strippers vulva!

I would absolutely have joked about noshing off the guy but my mouth would have ended up nowhere near his actual dick!

I thought you meant off his belly or something in your first message! And lots of your mates had also put their mouths there? Were you all queued up in anticipation of getting on your knees behind the union jack? I can't get the scenario straighy in my head how this ever happened.

Dalekjastninerels · 03/07/2023 13:01

BadNomad · 03/07/2023 12:58

All that salt is bad for the heart too. The NHS is also in crisis.

Show quote history

😀😂

AccidentallySuckedTheStrippersDick · 03/07/2023 13:01

Can't be that good? Not all men ejaculate through oral sex and a male stripper will often have an elastic band around the base of the shaft to help delay things and keep it engorged.... plus they have got to be totally desensitised due to all the drunk hens taking turns drinking all over their gentleman's vegetables and polishing their helmet surely?

TheCosmosIsMine · 03/07/2023 13:01

Jeez, who knew there were so many slags about🙄

FreyafromLondon · 03/07/2023 13:02

AccidentallySuckedTheStrippersDick · 03/07/2023 13:01

Can't be that good? Not all men ejaculate through oral sex and a male stripper will often have an elastic band around the base of the shaft to help delay things and keep it engorged.... plus they have got to be totally desensitised due to all the drunk hens taking turns drinking all over their gentleman's vegetables and polishing their helmet surely?

Nice username