Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

she should used the shower before i come back

445 replies

RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:14

lighthearted, mostly 😂

i’m on holiday with some friends from work, first time we’ve ever been away together but we have done nights away.

I’m sharing a room with one person who doesn’t really like sunbathing or being by the pool. Fair enough we’re all quite chill and have been doing our own thing and then meeting up in the evening for dinner/drinks.

She goes back up to the room usually about 1pm to read and chill out whereas I’ll stay by the pool til it gets too chilly probably about half 6/7. We always make a plan for dinner in the group chat and the. I always put a message saying what time I expect to be back at the room because obviously will have to shower and get ready. Every day this week she’s been in the room for 6/7 hours alone and only gone in the shower when i’ve come back from the pool (it’s like she waits for me to get back then runs in there) and she takes forever meaning I have to then rush. I got fed up of this and asked when she was leaving after lunch if i could use the shower at 6 yesterday and she agreed, but when i got back to the room (at 6) she was in the shower! and took a good 45 minutes for i had to rush again.

aibu to think it’s a bit selfish if you’re in the room all day to wait to use the shower until the person you’re sharing with gets back from the pool, making them rush to get ready?

OP posts:
SD1978 · 02/07/2023 02:24

Head up at 5. If she jumps in, head back to the pool until your preferred time of 6. Or you get the 'early' shower and can chill on the balcony.

Jemandthehologramsunite · 02/07/2023 02:27

AliceMcK · 02/07/2023 02:17

Nrtft mainly OPs updates.

she is obviously selfish. I hate showering after others and like fresh dry towels and bath mats, with my DH and DCs I’m fine with dictating when I get my shower if I’m limited, but sharing with a friend or colleague I’d ask for extra mats and towels, leave towels outside the bathroom and arrange something upfront to cater my selfish needs. I know I’m difficult, I’ve spent most of my adult life living on my own so I’m fully aware of my “quirks” and how I’m set in my ways, which is why I’m always upfront with others.

The last time I room shared was 4 moths ago, we took turns of one on the sofa and one in the bed as both bad snorers. The 6 other women in the house shared rooms. We had 1 bathroom and shower between us all, we communicated and shared. Everyone announced they were having a shower so anyone needing the toilet could go etc.. It was actually refreshing being with decent travelling companions after so many horrible experiences in the past.

Can I ask why you didn't all just pay for your own rooms? Just curious, I would prefer to pay more as I like to have my own toilet

MykonosMaiden · 02/07/2023 02:27

@RobynsMama So why doesn't she shower before you when she knew what time you'd want it? Makes no sense??
You've told her 6 p.m. she showers at 5:30. Problem solved! She doesn't HAVE to go the moment you return

Still confused unless I'm missing something else here!

MykonosMaiden · 02/07/2023 02:28

thenightsky · 01/07/2023 20:25

she's such a clod that she can't even greet OP, or allow her to use the loo, or anything. Just selfishly leaps up and locks herself into the bathroom.

And that's where the OP should start hammering on the bathroom door, shouting 'quick, quick, open up, I've got the shits and need the loo NOW!!!'

This is what I'd do too lmaooo

MykonosMaiden · 02/07/2023 02:31

Sweetlily99 · 01/07/2023 21:29

Hi @RobynsMama I hope you enjoy the rest of your holiday and showergate isn't causing too much of a dent.

Just wanted to say I enjoyed reading the thread and the updates and finally a rather odd conclusion.

Next time treat yourself to your own room!

I once went on a work trip with a collegue and got same train to the other office and taxi etc. it was all very odd as she refused to pick up her own case as her husband normally did that.... so I ended up picking it up like i would for my child to facilitate movement!! It was a tiny overnight thing.

Nowt as queer as folk!

Wow you're so nice!
I would leave it. Unless I needed her for a presentation or something. Lol

Joystir59 · 02/07/2023 02:41

She should have a room of her own

Ginola2345 · 02/07/2023 03:28

You sound incompatible and both sound awkward TBF.

Agree with another poster she is having a silent protest and probably resents you sitting out in the sun until the last minute then expecting a shower slot and having to work around you. Come up earlier then you don’t have to rush and it wouldn’t be such an issue.

babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo · 02/07/2023 03:32

JulieHoney · 30/06/2023 12:17

She wants to shower just before dinner, and so do you.

Agree with this - if I was meeting for dinner, I’d want to shower and get ready just before, not hours earlier! Also, just as you are relaxing during the day, so is she. You could always return to the room earlier - around 4 - to shower and then head back down to the pool for a final hour before dinner?

Fallenangelofthenorth · 02/07/2023 03:38

@Ginola2345 @babysharkdoodoodedoodedoo

Read the thread. If you can't be arsed going through every single post, at least read the OP posts.

Then you'd see how completely and utterly wrong you are.

Bobbobbobbo · 02/07/2023 04:31

How do you know she was alone in the all that time?

noenergy · 02/07/2023 05:16

Sorry I don't agree with the OCD part, if it was just that then she would have her shower a bit earlier before OP is back but no she runs in as OP is returning to the room.

Sparklfairy · 02/07/2023 05:22

Her saying demanding to use the shower first everyday still doesn't make sense though?

Your OP was about the fact she has all bloody afternoon to shower, and doesn't bother until you turn up. Then she makes you rush because everything is last minute.

So does she 'prefer' to use the shower immediately before you as some weird power trip? I don't get it.

I'd be saying, 'You're in the room all afternoon. If it's so important to you to have the shower first, have it first. But it's out of order and fucking weird to deliberately wait until I come up to use it. I'll be up anytime after 3pm - make sure you're done by then so you get your poxy preference'.

^^

BreatheAndFocus · 02/07/2023 07:13

She’s selfish. She wants to use the shower first but also refuses to go just ahead of your return to the room. You alerted her to what time you’d be back and needing a shower but she purposely ignored you. She resents you and is acting like it’s her room not a shared one.

I’d be popping back early again then returning to the pool. I’d be ‘forgetting things’ and popping back. I’d be showering during the day. I’d be doing anything I can to put the shits up her and have her make an idiot of herself by rushing into the shower when she hears your return.

Lndnmummy · 02/07/2023 07:39

My goodness! People are so weird!

Batalax · 02/07/2023 07:43

It’s already a cool atmosphere. At this point I wouldn’t care about making it freezing. Mess with her…

lljkk · 02/07/2023 07:46

I'm struggling with "obviously have to shower" aspect. Especially if you've been in & out of pool all afternoon (there are showers there possibly, too).

45 minutes is nuts.

RampantIvy · 02/07/2023 07:51

Ginola2345 · 02/07/2023 03:28

You sound incompatible and both sound awkward TBF.

Agree with another poster she is having a silent protest and probably resents you sitting out in the sun until the last minute then expecting a shower slot and having to work around you. Come up earlier then you don’t have to rush and it wouldn’t be such an issue.

Are you the room mate?

The OP doesn't sound awkward at all, but the oom mate does.

No-one needs a 45 minute shower every day, not even a coal miner.

Ladybug14 · 02/07/2023 07:53

She's happy for YOU to have a sloppy seconds bathroom but she doesn't want that

She sounds batshit

Roselilly36 · 02/07/2023 08:03

Good luck with the shower olympics today OP 😂

FurryFrigginFrump · 02/07/2023 08:07

OP let’s face it, your “friend” isn’t quite right is she. Does she have some kind of OCD? Or just insanely selfish??? She’s sharing a room that you have equally paid for so what on Earth gives her the right to use the bathroom first and for so long?

Emotionalsupportviper · 02/07/2023 08:08

Batalax · 02/07/2023 07:43

It’s already a cool atmosphere. At this point I wouldn’t care about making it freezing. Mess with her…

Frankly - at this stage I would delight in making her last two days as unpleasant as possible - "popping" back to the room for something at various intervals. Having a very quick shower after breakfast before going the pool (and then another one in the evening - no law says you van't have 2 x 10 min showers, rather than her 1 x 45 min one) - anything I could think of that wouldn't put me out much but would massively pee her off!

But then, I am a belligerent Ole Bat.

doorstopper123 · 02/07/2023 08:08

Bang on the door and say, come on! You have been in there 20'mins. What you doing i there?

🤣

IheartNiles · 02/07/2023 08:12

She’s bonkers and selfish. I can’t believe she ended up cross with YOU! You need to be more assertive.

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 02/07/2023 08:14

For the sake of the remaining holiday I think I'd just tell her she's welcome to shower first, but she needs to make sure she's had her shower before you come upstairs to get ready for the evening. Leaving you 10 mins to get ready when she's had a whole afternoon to shower isn't on.

Next holiday make sure you're not sharing with her

hollyblueivy · 02/07/2023 08:22

BanditsOnTheHorizon · 02/07/2023 08:14

For the sake of the remaining holiday I think I'd just tell her she's welcome to shower first, but she needs to make sure she's had her shower before you come upstairs to get ready for the evening. Leaving you 10 mins to get ready when she's had a whole afternoon to shower isn't on.

Next holiday make sure you're not sharing with her

I'd go with this tool