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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

she should used the shower before i come back

445 replies

RobynsMama · 30/06/2023 12:14

lighthearted, mostly 😂

i’m on holiday with some friends from work, first time we’ve ever been away together but we have done nights away.

I’m sharing a room with one person who doesn’t really like sunbathing or being by the pool. Fair enough we’re all quite chill and have been doing our own thing and then meeting up in the evening for dinner/drinks.

She goes back up to the room usually about 1pm to read and chill out whereas I’ll stay by the pool til it gets too chilly probably about half 6/7. We always make a plan for dinner in the group chat and the. I always put a message saying what time I expect to be back at the room because obviously will have to shower and get ready. Every day this week she’s been in the room for 6/7 hours alone and only gone in the shower when i’ve come back from the pool (it’s like she waits for me to get back then runs in there) and she takes forever meaning I have to then rush. I got fed up of this and asked when she was leaving after lunch if i could use the shower at 6 yesterday and she agreed, but when i got back to the room (at 6) she was in the shower! and took a good 45 minutes for i had to rush again.

aibu to think it’s a bit selfish if you’re in the room all day to wait to use the shower until the person you’re sharing with gets back from the pool, making them rush to get ready?

OP posts:
AllyArty · 01/07/2023 21:33

Does it really matter?

Darknightsahead · 01/07/2023 21:33

If there are two days left I wouldnt care how much it cost I’d be down at reception to see if they had any other rooms available for a few nights.

Fromage · 01/07/2023 21:37

Well ain't she the princess.....

Hadn't you previously "booked" your shower slot and she had ample time to get in and out before you? And much as she might "prefer" to use the shower first, so might you - if you're sharing a room, you have to compromise.

But that's bullshit on her part - maybe it's some kind of powerplay where she makes you go in straight after her, or she just controls when you shower.

She is having a communication failure because she expects you to not object to her batshit craziness.

It's her, not you.

WhatWillIWear · 01/07/2023 21:38

AllyArty · 01/07/2023 21:33

Does it really matter?

Read the room …

Fallenangelofthenorth · 01/07/2023 21:39

AllyArty · 01/07/2023 21:33

Does it really matter?

Yes. Yes it does. It matters to the 1493 people who voted op was NOT unreasonable, it matters to OP and it matters to the many of us watching and waiting for the latest update 🤣🤣🤣

WhatWillIWear · 01/07/2023 21:40

So disappointing to go on holiday and find yourself many times more annoyed than you would have been if you’d stayed at home.

MrsMikeDrop · 01/07/2023 21:51

coconutpie · 01/07/2023 21:14

Her reasoning makes no sense ... even if she wants to use it first, why does she wait until the second you come into the room and then hogs the shower for 45 minutes? Why can't she shower at 5pm, long before you are due to come in?

This is what I don't understand!!!

Emotionalsupportviper · 01/07/2023 22:00

coconutpie · 01/07/2023 21:14

Her reasoning makes no sense ... even if she wants to use it first, why does she wait until the second you come into the room and then hogs the shower for 45 minutes? Why can't she shower at 5pm, long before you are due to come in?

And why did she appear to be so irritated yesterday, when OP pretended to come back, but then returned to the pool when Little Miss Get-In-First shot into the bathroom?

I mean - really! What difference did it make to her? Why does she feel the need to keep OP waiting for 45 minutes? Is this some sort of perverted power play?

coconutpie · 01/07/2023 22:16

I agree, it feels like a power play - she wants the OP to have to wait to use the shower because she thinks she is far superior to OP.

Backthetruckup · 01/07/2023 22:18

What a princess 👸 🙄

SparklingLime · 01/07/2023 22:26

Have an early morning shower tomorrow...

ThatFraggle · 01/07/2023 22:40

coconutpie · 01/07/2023 22:16

I agree, it feels like a power play - she wants the OP to have to wait to use the shower because she thinks she is far superior to OP.

That's the only thing that matches all the facts.

OCD/wanting dry bath mat: A 5 pm shower would be fine.

Absent-mindedly losing track of time & using OPs arrival as her alarm: she wouldn't be annoyed by the decoy return.

Power play by a saddo: Bingo

ZeldaWillTellYourFortune · 01/07/2023 22:42

codemonkeya · 01/07/2023 21:30

She is so entitled! Presumably in an ideal world everyone would "prefer" to use the shower first. Why, because she prefers it, does she think that it mean she gets it?! What if you also prefer to use it first? People like this fill me with rage.

Also it's the fact she never said anything and just kept rushing in. And worst of all, even when you TOLD her when you would be back to shower, and she had every opportunity to go in first, she still waited for you to arrive.

If she's being frosty with you I'd make it ice cold. Shes completely the one being unreasonable and you are well within your rights to make it clear that you think she's being rude. I imagine she's the kind of person who would just go on acting as normal once you're back home and I would be shutting that right down. How dare she make your holiday uncomfortable like this?

If she does have OCD or something similar then it wouldn't have been hard, when booking rooms, to explain this to you and request that she could shower first. (And agree to respect timings). No excuse if you ask me.

Totally agree!

We all like to use a freshly cleaned bathroom. A non-asshole would take turns, or call the front desk and ask for two bathmats, or something. Not barge past you and lock the door and stay in there for 45 min showers!

What's her explanation for that, by the way? No one on earth needs 45 minutes under running water.

Freak.

DinkeyDonkey · 01/07/2023 22:56

She's a twat

I don't think its the fact she didn't mention she wanted to shower first I think it's the fact she's quite happy to put you out repeatedly to suit herself!

FOJN · 01/07/2023 22:56

She wants to use the bathroom first and at a time that suits her? She really should have booked a single room. She's incredible entitled and selfish. At least you know for any future holidays and can make sure you never end up sharing with her again.

Snowpixi · 01/07/2023 23:28

Thank you for staying the obvious. Although I feel with your black and Whig approach you have completely failed to understand the point! Well done you!

ThatFraggle · 01/07/2023 23:31

Snowpixi · 01/07/2023 23:28

Thank you for staying the obvious. Although I feel with your black and Whig approach you have completely failed to understand the point! Well done you!

What?

TheOriginalEmu · 01/07/2023 23:39

wutheringkites · 30/06/2023 12:18

Yep, she's totally unreasonable.

I also can't understand why someone would spend 6-7 hours sitting it a hotel room on holiday. What was the point in her going away?

Everyone is different. I like a chilled afternoon to myself reading in a cool room on holiday sometimes. I still go out in the morning and evening but afternoons are often too hot for me.

DreamTheMoors · 01/07/2023 23:40

murasaki · 30/06/2023 12:17

I'm struggling with 45 minutes in the shower unless she's rapunzel.

Rapunzel Rapunzel get TF out the shower

Fallenangelofthenorth · 01/07/2023 23:49

ThatFraggle · 01/07/2023 22:40

That's the only thing that matches all the facts.

OCD/wanting dry bath mat: A 5 pm shower would be fine.

Absent-mindedly losing track of time & using OPs arrival as her alarm: she wouldn't be annoyed by the decoy return.

Power play by a saddo: Bingo

Show quote history

Or perhaps she has OCD as well as being a sadist who enjoys pissing off the OP by deliberately using the bathroom at the exact time she wants to use it? That's literally the only thing that that makes sense to me.

Or @RobynsMama are you her boss? Have you recently given her a bad appraisal? Or allocated a shit client/piece of work to her? Perhaps at the time she gritted her teeth and smiled and said "it's fine"? Well clearly it's NOT fine and she's waited until you holiday together to exact her revenge by making you use soggy bathmats and not have time to dry your hair.

Either way she's a twat 😁

Mamanyt · 01/07/2023 23:59

So, tell her you'll be back at 6, then come back at 5, run in the bathroom immediately, and take your time!

MrsMikeDrop · 02/07/2023 00:00

coconutpie · 01/07/2023 22:16

I agree, it feels like a power play - she wants the OP to have to wait to use the shower because she thinks she is far superior to OP.

Think this is a bit OTT. I think she's just a weirdo

Fluffmum · 02/07/2023 01:02

In future book 2 rooms problem solved

Fallenangelofthenorth · 02/07/2023 01:05

Fluffmum · 02/07/2023 01:02

In future book 2 rooms problem solved

It's a group. And presumably the other members of the group aren't so selfish.

AliceMcK · 02/07/2023 02:17

Nrtft mainly OPs updates.

she is obviously selfish. I hate showering after others and like fresh dry towels and bath mats, with my DH and DCs I’m fine with dictating when I get my shower if I’m limited, but sharing with a friend or colleague I’d ask for extra mats and towels, leave towels outside the bathroom and arrange something upfront to cater my selfish needs. I know I’m difficult, I’ve spent most of my adult life living on my own so I’m fully aware of my “quirks” and how I’m set in my ways, which is why I’m always upfront with others.

The last time I room shared was 4 moths ago, we took turns of one on the sofa and one in the bed as both bad snorers. The 6 other women in the house shared rooms. We had 1 bathroom and shower between us all, we communicated and shared. Everyone announced they were having a shower so anyone needing the toilet could go etc.. It was actually refreshing being with decent travelling companions after so many horrible experiences in the past.

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