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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have the ick… FIL and DS

127 replies

Changedmymindtoday22 · 02/06/2023 20:02

Just want to see if I’m being precious….
FIL and DS were having lunch today with family.
DS had food on his finger that he wanted to be cleaned.

FIL sucked his finger to remove food.

is that ok? Weird?

He has kissed him on the lips when he was a baby too which I asked DH to tell him not to do. I personally find it ick.

Keen to know if it is, or would that be normal?

OP posts:
doitwithlove · 02/06/2023 20:05

Just no, get a baby wipe or a serviette to clean the areas . No need for FIL's breath to be on baby's finger 🙈

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 02/06/2023 20:05

DS is 2.

OP posts:
CheshireDing · 02/06/2023 20:06

Grim

I don’t even suck by own childrens figure

SeeingSpots · 02/06/2023 20:07

Gosh that's beyond grim. Just grab a wipe or a napkin!

I would be very grossed out by that.

WhimHoff · 02/06/2023 20:09

Children’s fingers are gross, butt scratching nose pickers

alpaca44 · 02/06/2023 20:14

Gross

SuperbSummer2023 · 02/06/2023 20:14

It's not a big deal that FIL did it, but not the best for FIL unless he washed DS's hands before lunch.

you ewww for your reasons, I don't think are necessary.

Pteryl · 02/06/2023 20:14

What?! I must be very odd. I do this all the time!!

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 02/06/2023 20:15

I did this all the time. I’m going for completely normal Blush

TomatoSandwiches · 02/06/2023 20:16

He probably used to do it with his own children, but YANBU to just offer him a wipe next time.

SeeingSpots · 02/06/2023 20:16

Pteryl · 02/06/2023 20:14

What?! I must be very odd. I do this all the time!!

Genuine question but why?

Why can't you just get a napkin or wipe? It's really weird to lick your child's fingers to clean them.

Pteryl · 02/06/2023 20:17

Also my 2yr old doesn’t scratch their bottom or pick their nose at the dinner table. They always want to kiss on the lips, and hug.

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 02/06/2023 20:18

A parent is one thing sucking their child’s finger.
A 69 year old grandfather another…..

OP posts:
Georgieporgie29 · 02/06/2023 20:18

I have definitely done this before. Yes of course I would use a napkin/cloth if in the house but if we’re out and no washing facilities say my dd had finished an ice cream but had some on her finger and it would be sticky I would just clean it with my mouth. When she was feeding she was always putting her fingers in my mouth

Pixiedust1234 · 02/06/2023 20:19

We need two bits of critical information.

Were hands washed before eating?
What was the food?

If it was chocolate then I've done that loads of times. You can't waste chocolate!!!

Pteryl · 02/06/2023 20:19

SeeingSpots · 02/06/2023 20:16

Genuine question but why?

Why can't you just get a napkin or wipe? It's really weird to lick your child's fingers to clean them.

Show quote history

I usually have a cloth to do a full wipe down obviously, I’m not a dog with pups, but my child is a bit fussy and if they have a spot of food on the end of their finger they don’t want (tiny cube of courgette for example), they offer their finger up to me and I eat it. Mostly to show courgettes are actually an edible foodstuff! I’m not going round licking their face and fingers clean!!

EsmeSusanOgg · 02/06/2023 20:20

When mine was 2, he would try to feed me - including off his finger. Not the greatest from my POV. But no harm. This seems pretty inoccuous to me. But offer a wipe in future of you do not like it (plus small children are harbingers of sickness bugs!)

Original poster
Changedmymindtoday22 · 02/06/2023 20:21

Hands not washed just before.

Tomato sauce.

This is a grandfather / grand son question, not a parent child scenario, which in my opinion is different.

OP posts:
Lkgcsr · 02/06/2023 20:21

Yuck, I’d find that weird and I wouldn’t do that to my own children

Pteryl · 02/06/2023 20:22

Changedmymindtoday22 · 02/06/2023 20:18

A parent is one thing sucking their child’s finger.
A 69 year old grandfather another…..

Not to me, but I have a great relationship with my parents and grandparents and am happy for them to take a bit of rogue melon/ice cream/chocolate off their fingers as mine always stick their hands in front of their face to ask them! My child also feeds them their food of the plate. Yes, I have a feeder.

ExtraOnions · 02/06/2023 20:22

Is it because you suspect he is a paedophile ? Is this why you find it so disturbing ?

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 02/06/2023 20:22

Makes me feel a bit sick, but I don’t think it necessarily means FIL is being odd at all. Although you follow your gut as you’re the one who was there.

EsmeSusanOgg · 02/06/2023 20:22

Changedmymindtoday22 · 02/06/2023 20:18

A parent is one thing sucking their child’s finger.
A 69 year old grandfather another…..

Is it? Why would grandparents be do emotionally divorced from grandchildren to not behave in the same way as they did with their own?

Pteryl · 02/06/2023 20:23

EsmeSusanOgg · 02/06/2023 20:22

Is it? Why would grandparents be do emotionally divorced from grandchildren to not behave in the same way as they did with their own?

Show quote history

Exactly.

cassiatwenty · 02/06/2023 20:23

🤐

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