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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Leaving dog for 12 hours

115 replies

IggyNora · 14/05/2023 10:26

My MIL has a 1 year old bichon who is left for 12 hours 2 days a week, with only the neighbour going in to open the door for it to go to the toilet. One of the days it does a daycare type thing at someone's house and the the other 2 she is home.

DH has started going in for a few hours on one of the days and I do the other day. We are finding this far too annoying, we constantly have to think about it, etc. I spoke to MIL who said she completely understands and that she has never asked us to do that (which is true she hasn't, but I feel bad for the dog) she says he is absolutely fine and to just not go if we don't want to.

I said to her can't she do the daycare place for those other 2 days and she kind of just laughed and said "who is paying". I get I should maybe stay out of it but it's a bit hard knowing there is a young dog alone for so long.

OP posts:

user1477391263 · 15/05/2023 00:14

Re dogs roaming, how come they don’t get shot by farmers or rounded up by The Powers That Be?

CleverLilViper · 15/05/2023 00:51

Sissynova · 14/05/2023 10:35

Honestly I think you’re being ridiculous saying you feel so bad for the dog that you must stay for hours. Your MIL hasn’t asked you to do it so you can’t complain about it.

The dog can be walked in the morning or evening and has someone checking on it during the day. It’s not that bad.

Anyone saying the nonsense above shouldn’t ever be allowed to have a dog or any animal really.

Why get a dog if you don’t have the time for it? Your MIL sounds like she’s completely clueless and incapable of looking after a dog. I’d never leave my dogs for more than 4 hours at a time without sufficient care. That involves far more than just letting him out to pee.

CleverLilViper · 15/05/2023 00:57

Scalottia · 14/05/2023 11:36

It's a...dog. Not a toddler. Stop anthropomorphising dogs, you are just creating problems for yourselves! They are animals and being left for 12hrs isn't cruel. Is it great? No, but sometimes it's necessary, because you know, most of us have to work for a living.

Please never own a dog.

Scalottia · 15/05/2023 07:25

CleverLilViper · 15/05/2023 00:57

Please never own a dog.

Show quote history

Too late, sorry! Have always had dogs. All I was trying to say is that they are intelligent animals, but they are dogs...animals, not a helpless toddler.

How about giving dogs more credit for being intelligent animals rather than helpless children that need a human there 24/7. Most of them will be fine alone for part of a day. I didn't say all, I am aware that some dogs won't cope.

If you could actually read I also said 12hrs is not ideal. I didn't come on the thread saying oh yay 12hrs is great - everyone should leave their dogs for this long! I was simply saying that some people can't due to working hours. I guess reading comprehension is difficult for some.

I also didn't come on here just to call people cunts like several other pleasant posters. But they are more edgy than me so yeah...good for them.

SW2002 · 15/05/2023 09:28

There is tons of evidenced research to state that a dog left alone for more than 4 hours is seriously detrimental to it's well being. If a dog is regularly left longer than that, then something needs to change.

12 hours is utterly unacceptable, and twice a week even more so. If she can't care for the dog properly (even if that means paying for doggy daycare) then she shouldn't have it.

End of.

CleverLilViper · 15/05/2023 13:03

Scalottia · 15/05/2023 07:25

Too late, sorry! Have always had dogs. All I was trying to say is that they are intelligent animals, but they are dogs...animals, not a helpless toddler.

I also didn't come on here just to call people cunts like several other pleasant posters. But they are more edgy than me so yeah...good for them.

Show quote history

Getting a dog isn’t an obligation. If your work or lifestyle means being out for a significant portion of the day and you’re unable or unwilling to pay for doggy daycare then you don’t get a dog. It’s really simple.

there’s more than sufficient evidence that suggests that dogs shouldn’t be left for more than 4 hours at a time.

No they’re not helpless toddlers but they are living creatures with feelings and require care and stimulus which they’re not getting if their owner is fucking off for 12 hours at a time on a regular basis.

rookiemere · 15/05/2023 13:31

Exactly @CleverLilViper .

There's a huge difference between having an existing dog and life happening as it inevitably does and deliberately getting a puppy in the full knowledge it will be expected to be on its own for significant periods of time.

No one is obliged to get a dog, but once you've got one you really should try to be a decent owner.

Scalottia · 15/05/2023 13:32

God you're exhausting. Have you read my previous post about life circumstances changing? What then?

It's like arguing with a brick wall. Have I said in any of my posts that yes, you should definitely leave your dog for 12 hours alone because it's great to do that? No. I've said myself that it ISN'T IDEAL. Sometimes however needs must.

Delatron · 15/05/2023 13:53

Yes exactly @CleverLilViper I had a lot of arguments on another thread like this.

People claiming their dogs were happy being left all day (how did they know).

The most annoying argument is ‘well what are people who work full time supposed to do? Not have a dog?’ Er yes!! You don’t have a right to have a dog.

waterlego · 15/05/2023 19:55

I always find it a bit strange when people say they know that their dog just sleeps all day because they have a camera. Yes, dogs do sleep a lot and especially older dogs and certain breeds. And aside from that, yes of course they’d sleep all day! What else are they going to do when they’re alone and there is no stimulation or entertainment or even a human to look at? 🤔

GADDay · 15/05/2023 20:36

Fairytoast · 14/05/2023 12:06

No dog should be left alone for that long, your mil is cruel. Dogs thrive in company and should not be left alone for more than 4 hours, ideally. We have a rescue, he was left all day, every day for the first year of his life. He has so many issues due to this. People saying it’s ok and dogs are fine with this don’t understand dogs and should never own them. Being left for hours on end especially without any form of enrichment or play is detrimental to their health and development. You are very kind to help out, your mil should appreciate that.

Give over.

Seriously. This lady is not cruel.

GADDay · 15/05/2023 20:44

This thread has gone a bit bonkers.

This dog is well cared for. So much hysteria about cruelty.

Parallel universe of Mumsnet strikes again. 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Bk1000 · 15/05/2023 22:01

A dog walker would be much cheaper than daycare, the dog would get a nice break and hopefully have a nice run around and come home tired enough ti sleep the afternoon away. It’s still not ideal but it would be a lot better than being stuck at home for 12 hours.

Scalottia · 16/05/2023 05:22

GADDay · 15/05/2023 20:44

This thread has gone a bit bonkers.

This dog is well cared for. So much hysteria about cruelty.

Parallel universe of Mumsnet strikes again. 🤯🤯🤯🤯

Exactly. Some of these people need to work in a shelter. There you will see real cruelty.

user1477391263 · 16/05/2023 05:40

Some people get a cleaner (who likes dogs9 to come in on the day they will be away for a long time; the house gets cleaned and the dog gets a little low-key human company at the same time.

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