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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you date a man who cross dressed?

576 replies

Supernova23 · 03/04/2023 09:06

Compatible in most ways but they admitted from the beginning they cross dressed. Would you?

OP posts:
DrMarciaFieldstone · 05/04/2023 18:38

Hell no

SeaDee · 05/04/2023 18:38

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:36

'Cis' being a political identity term, that many women find highly offensive to have thrust upon them without regard for how they choose to identify, and not used by those not part of the gender ideology belief system.

This

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:39

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:36

'Cis' being a political identity term, that many women find highly offensive to have thrust upon them without regard for how they choose to identify, and not used by those not part of the gender ideology belief system.

And many women are quite happy with, including me.😁Also I was referring to a cis man in this context, but carry on with the performative outrage.

Thelnebriati · 05/04/2023 18:39

Most cross dressers are utterly cis.

Thats a contradictory statement. Cross dressers are under the Stonewall trans umbrella.

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:41

And I suspect the transwidows would take issue with the idea that 'most' cross dressers are not intending to transition; the experience appears to be very common that this where their partner's path through transition began.

Women are allowed a choice as to whether they feel partnering someone who enjoys cross dressing, or is in the process of transitioning, would work for them in a relationship.

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:42

Thelnebriati · 05/04/2023 18:39

Most cross dressers are utterly cis.

Thats a contradictory statement. Cross dressers are under the Stonewall trans umbrella.

Stonewall may be the hated group du jour, but they don't hold the copyright on words. Might as well take issue with 'queer', when lots of non-straights like it just fine.
Some really nasty, frothing hatred on this thread, but those posters aren't phobic. Course not🙄

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:44

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:39

And many women are quite happy with, including me.😁Also I was referring to a cis man in this context, but carry on with the performative outrage.

Show quote history

It's lovely that you are quite happy. Smile That's not a term generally ok to use on this forum as many women find it offensive. You may like to read the guidelines. Go well.

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:44

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:41

And I suspect the transwidows would take issue with the idea that 'most' cross dressers are not intending to transition; the experience appears to be very common that this where their partner's path through transition began.

Women are allowed a choice as to whether they feel partnering someone who enjoys cross dressing, or is in the process of transitioning, would work for them in a relationship.

To your second point, of course. Honest communication makes for honest choices.
'Seems' is the appropriate word. Confirmation bias.

Thelnebriati · 05/04/2023 18:44

You've just made an accusation of 'hate' instead of actually engaging with the point being made. Cis people don't cross dress. Its literally part of the definition of cis people that their gender ID matches their sex.

Do feel free to report any hateful posts you see.

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:45

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:42

Stonewall may be the hated group du jour, but they don't hold the copyright on words. Might as well take issue with 'queer', when lots of non-straights like it just fine.
Some really nasty, frothing hatred on this thread, but those posters aren't phobic. Course not🙄

Show quote history

'Queer' also in fact being a word that many homosexuals find offensive, for easily researched reasons. I'm one of them.

Ludo19 · 05/04/2023 18:46

BadgerFacedCoo · 03/04/2023 09:08

No.

But any sort of fetish would be a no for me. Cross dressers. Those people who dress as animals. Spurs fans. People who like whipped. No thanks.

You made me 🤣

It would be a no from me too I'm afraid. Someone I was seeing years ago thought It'd be "funny" to come through wearing my beautiful cream set which was a lovely bra and thong. The sight of his hairy brain hanging out of my beautiful underwear gave me the boak. I turfed him out and never saw him again.

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:47

Thelnebriati · 05/04/2023 18:44

You've just made an accusation of 'hate' instead of actually engaging with the point being made. Cis people don't cross dress. Its literally part of the definition of cis people that their gender ID matches their sex.

Do feel free to report any hateful posts you see.

I've engaged, see my other comments.
You know, if I see hatred I call it, and I already have reported some. Not that I suspect mnhq will do anything as transphobia is utterly tolerated here.

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:49

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:47

I've engaged, see my other comments.
You know, if I see hatred I call it, and I already have reported some. Not that I suspect mnhq will do anything as transphobia is utterly tolerated here.

Show quote history

Oh, and gender ID has F. All to do with how you dress.

Timesawastin · 05/04/2023 18:51

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:45

'Queer' also in fact being a word that many homosexuals find offensive, for easily researched reasons. I'm one of them.

Show quote history

Then I would never refer to you as such. As I'm sure you know, there is debate on this within the community.

TheKeatingFive · 05/04/2023 19:02

Not that I suspect mnhq will do anything as transphobia is utterly tolerated here

What's your definition of transphobia?

Brahumbug · 05/04/2023 19:40

No from me, unless they had some really nice gear in my size that I could borrow😂.

TreeLine23 · 05/04/2023 23:57

FrankColumbo · 03/04/2023 09:19

No. I have had a relationship with a guy who liked wearing knickers during sex, and I found that it escalated in frequency and every time we had sex there had to be some kind of fetishy component. We could never have normal unadorned sex. It was a massive turnoff and made me feel like I wasn't good enough for him. And it was just very boring and samey really.
Personally, I like sex and don't really feel the need to bring a load of lacy nylon into the mix in order to enjoy it 🤷

Ugh, same here.

Shelefttheweb · 06/04/2023 00:11

Absolutely No way. What do you think is his view of women if he gets a sexual kick out of dressing in women’s clothes?

girlfriend44 · 06/04/2023 02:04

thefamous5 · 03/04/2023 11:30

No.

I'd find it revolting.

Me too. Probably laugh too.

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 07/04/2023 00:14

nilsmousehammer · 05/04/2023 18:45

'Queer' also in fact being a word that many homosexuals find offensive, for easily researched reasons. I'm one of them.

Show quote history

I identify as queer.
As with any group not everyone feels the same way.

OhcantthInkofaname · 07/04/2023 00:56

No- not ever.

ISpyCobraKai · 07/04/2023 01:26

Princessconsuelabananahammock9 · 07/04/2023 00:14

I identify as queer.
As with any group not everyone feels the same way.

Show quote history

When you say queer, do you mean gay or, "spicy straight".

MoreSleepPleasee · 07/04/2023 01:29

Absolutely not no.

steff13 · 07/04/2023 02:03

BadgerFacedCoo · 03/04/2023 09:08

No.

But any sort of fetish would be a no for me. Cross dressers. Those people who dress as animals. Spurs fans. People who like whipped. No thanks.

The San Antonio Spurs?

Blinkery · 07/04/2023 06:16

No