To judge the woman on the bus

[IDoughnutKnow]

She was on the bus this afternoon with two children - aged around 3 and 6. The 6yo was jumping around, doing the whole 'look at meeee' thing, standing up, messing around. The younger child had been bribed into submission with a massive doughnut. The mother (and I know she was the mother, as the older child kept addressing her as Mum) spent the entire 30 minute journey on her phone. I could see Facebook, then Instagram, then she was just scrolling around watching videos. Every now and then she would get pissed off and tell the child to sit down and behave and stop bothering the other passengers - when it was evident to anyone with half a brain that she needed to get off her bloody phone and talk to the child.

WABU to judge her hard?

She may well have been parenting wonderfully all morning and just needed those minutes. What you saw was a snapshot.

Reverse

You're the mum aren't you

YABU to judge anyone based on 1 bus journey.

You can judge whoever you want, whenever you want, and against entirely your own criteria, which you can change at a whim.

it’s exactly what I come to MN for.

It’s sad when parents ignore their kids. But you only saw half an hour of her day, you never know what someone has going on.

Hmmmmm.

How massive was the donut?

Come on, it’s Mumsnet, we need to know.

Bet she gave him sugary cereal for breakfast too.

You lost me with the massive doughnut. Get a life.

Leave her alone ffs

One child wasn't sitting and you judged.

And one child was sitting and you still judged.

YABU

I'd have judged her too OP.

Don't bite people...it's clearly a reverse

YABU to not ask if there was a spare donut going

Wooptie fucking ping.

I want a big doughnut now

And a fruit shoot and Greggs sausage roll!

Mmm doughnuts 🤤

Some children can be very draining. I wouldn't judge the mum nobody knows what kind of day she has had leading up to that moment.

The mum should have given the child a massive salad instead of massive doughnut and everything would have been fine.

It sounds like the bus journey was the only time she was getting any peace today. She can't win. Leave her alone.

Oh shush my kid was on his phone all through lunch today as it was noisy and he was a bit overwhelmed and some older lady kept shaking her head and making comments to her husband. Sorry but he did well to get into the cafe, he chose his food and ate it. He was just having one of those days. - he has Asd and adhd not that it really matters he mostly would chat to me but it’s not for anyone to judge him or me because no one knows what’s happening in his or my life to judge in 30 mins

I get upset when I see this, but remind myself that she is going home to feed, wash and love those kids. It's bloody hard work.

She doesn't have to put on a show for a stranger on a bus.

Buses have windows. Use them. Look away and think kind thoughts.

You know the difference between that woman and all the mothers you don't judge? The woman on the bus was being her authentic self, because she lacks either the guile or the motivation to performance parent in public. Do you really think that mums engaging with their children on the bus never ignore them in favour of their phones? Never let them eat junk? Or do you think some people are just aware of the sort of behaviour that brings out the judgemental and so keep it for the privacy of their own homes?

I mean, judge away if it makes you feel better about yourself, but you have no idea what kind of day she's.had/what kind of struggles she might be dealing with