To judge the woman on the bus

[IDoughnutKnow]

She was on the bus this afternoon with two children - aged around 3 and 6. The 6yo was jumping around, doing the whole 'look at meeee' thing, standing up, messing around. The younger child had been bribed into submission with a massive doughnut. The mother (and I know she was the mother, as the older child kept addressing her as Mum) spent the entire 30 minute journey on her phone. I could see Facebook, then Instagram, then she was just scrolling around watching videos. Every now and then she would get pissed off and tell the child to sit down and behave and stop bothering the other passengers - when it was evident to anyone with half a brain that she needed to get off her bloody phone and talk to the child.

WABU to judge her hard?

This sort of thing upsets me a bit actually, seeing someone on the phone whilst child is obviously needing attention, it is worth remembering that this is just a moment & we don't know really what is going on behind the scenes, but it still is hard to watch sometimes.
The worst thing I did see was a dad putting his hand around the throat of his child in a shoeshop, seriously was pressing on his throat this dad was very frustrated, the little boy was about 3 and very upset, he had marks around his throat. I did a stupid thing and intervened, told the shop steward and had the mother screaming at me to take her children 'DO YOU WANT THEM THEN?!!' sort of thing, it was bad but I didn't know what to do. I don't know what the shop staff did as I left, couldn't wait to get out after that.
You have to hope that this mothers parenting isn't all about what you saw on the bus

I feel very seen

@IDoughnutKnow

i don’t know why does anyone need to look at their phone? Let’s just all throw our phones away, OP doesn’t think we need them

And she gave up her “ wonderful “ parenting skills in a public place? give us a break will you? if she allows the kid to behave like that in public I can guarantee at home it’s bloody mayhem

In any case, why does anyone need to have their nose in their phone on a bus?

So that strangers don't start making conversation

Really fancy a massive doughnut now.

Why does there need to be perfect calm and quiet on a bus? It’s not a funeral!

You can't win can you, you're either ignoring your kids or performance parenting. One thing for sure is you get judged whatever you do.

Of course it doesn't matter (though it will matter to the ultimate outcomes for children whose parents choose to ignore them rather than do their parental job and basically educate them about the world around them). But most of the stuff on MN "doesn't matter". The fact that I'm worrying about paying my bills doesn't stop me from feeling sorry for children who need more parental input than they're getting.

Doughnut 🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩🍩 yummmmmmm

I am sure she feels suitably ashamed.

Do polish your halo though.

Oh God, there doesn't. The child hopping around was not the problem. She was a very sweet and smiley and lively little girl. The mother's attitude was the problem.

So this woman was nicer looking than Waynetta Slob, but still HEFTY.

You couldn't make this shit up. 😆

YANBU

Exactly this! Or maybe sending messages saying ‘I’m scared. A weird woman is staring at me and the kids , meet me at Maccy Ds so I can escape this mad woman

I manage without one. I spend my time people-watching (and judging, today).

Do you take to social media every time you see someone browsing when they probably shouldn’t be?

Performance parenting again?! Interacting with your kids is just parenting, not a bloody performance.

So what? Got nothing to do with you.

@Messyhair321 That is awful. But good for you for saying something.

At least she wasn’t driving an SUV.

Maybe that was the only time she’d have today to sit down and look at crap on her phone?

Don’t be so judgy

No. Only when I idly wonder what other (anonymous) mothers would think about a specific situation and my thoughts turn to MN.

But the thing is, you don’t know how much parental input they are getting. And you don’t know what the hell is going on in that poor woman’s life.