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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To say you can still look okay at 13 stone?

382 replies

sayitaintsobow · 25/03/2023 18:59

I'm 13 stone 7... To my horror! I knew I'd put on a lot rapidly in a short space of time. I'm aware this actually makes me obese. And I need to lose weight for my health

I don't think I look huge though. Definitely not. Might say I'm a bit chubby at a push. Face doesn't look too fat

AIBU to say you can actually be obese and not realise because you don't look 'fat'?

I'm 5'3 so not tall

OP posts:
Thread gallery
18
Stugs · 26/03/2023 08:16

All the pictures posted look loads better than I do! I'm pretty fat at 12.7 and 5.7.

Paq · 26/03/2023 08:18

Who cares how you look? How do you feel? What's it doing to your health now and in the long term?

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 08:19

Purplesv · 25/03/2023 22:23

I'm "5'3 weigh 11.5 stone and have had 3 babies in the last 5 years. That probably puts me in the obese category or just under. I wouldn't know as I don't check.

I think I look great when compared to my younger, skinnier self. I had an ED and was so gaunt and frail.

I lift weights. Cycle. Swim. I'm very healthy.

There are "plus sized" people who are healthier than size 4-6 people. I'm certainly alot healthier at this weight than I was smaller.

Most of the women I know are between size 12 - 14 and I don't think any one of them look "obese" or awful dispite what the BMI calculator or people on mumsnet says.

It's so sad to see women feeling so shit about themselves at the weights mentioned throughout the thread.

Somebody saying they're overweight at 9 stone, have a day off ffs.

I would be overweight at 9st and I am your height. Max weight when pregnant full term was 8 st 4. Not boasting literally posting a fact.

Why do you have to justify your weight by referring to 3 babies? Being pregnant doesn't mean ending up overweight.

Yes, you are medically obese, and the problem is so many people are we lose sight of normal weight and shape.

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 08:23

There are "plus sized" people who are healthier than size 4-6 people. I'm certainly alot healthier at this weight than I was smaller.

Being a size 4 or 6 is not healthy. But why choose that as an example?

How about being more sensible and choosing an example that isn't about dress size?

Fat people are not healthier. They might be able to run, swim, whatever now in their 30s but if they stay that weight, by the time they are 40 or 50 they are likely to be diabetic, have joint issues from carrying weight, and at risk from cancer .

Tanaria · 26/03/2023 08:30

I have your measurements, OP (well, slightly less at 13st 2lb) and I look obese despite being relatively fit due to daily exercise.

It all comes down to body shape. I have an s-shape, which means both my boobs and my arse stick out and that makes it very difficult to find clothes that fit well and don't make me look bigger than I am. Size 12 on top and size 14 bottom. Your shape seems a lot more hourglass, which allows you to carry more weight and it still doesn't look bad.

But what randoms on the internet are saying won't matter much. It's about how you feel.

BarrelOfOtters · 26/03/2023 08:47

I’m 5 ft 7 and 13 and a half stone. I’m fat and look fat. 12 and a half stone I can get away with….but I really need to lose 2 stone to get my blood pressure down…

mdh2020 · 26/03/2023 08:56

Surely it’s not about how you look but about your health? I am 5 foot and overweight (trying to lose again) and conscious of the strain on my knees and my heart, never mind how I look!

DinosApple · 26/03/2023 09:09

I'm 5ft 5 and 12st 6 and my size 14 stuff is a bit snug. I am overweight and trying to lose lb slowly. Really I'm at my best around 11 stone.

My boobs to waist and hip ratio looks pretty good though.

RatesWillRise · 26/03/2023 09:10

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 08:23

There are "plus sized" people who are healthier than size 4-6 people. I'm certainly alot healthier at this weight than I was smaller.

Being a size 4 or 6 is not healthy. But why choose that as an example?

How about being more sensible and choosing an example that isn't about dress size?

Fat people are not healthier. They might be able to run, swim, whatever now in their 30s but if they stay that weight, by the time they are 40 or 50 they are likely to be diabetic, have joint issues from carrying weight, and at risk from cancer .

There are people who are size 4-6 who are healthy (lots in my culture).

And people who are eg size 14 who are healthy.

Dress size does not denote health.

Stugs · 26/03/2023 09:27

Dd is barely a size 6 and is very healthy.

Stugs · 26/03/2023 09:31

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 08:19

I would be overweight at 9st and I am your height. Max weight when pregnant full term was 8 st 4. Not boasting literally posting a fact.

Why do you have to justify your weight by referring to 3 babies? Being pregnant doesn't mean ending up overweight.

Yes, you are medically obese, and the problem is so many people are we lose sight of normal weight and shape.

Show quote history

Well, personally, having four pregnancies completely changed my body shape and where I held fat. I do think it's relevant.

Stugs · 26/03/2023 09:35

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 08:19

I would be overweight at 9st and I am your height. Max weight when pregnant full term was 8 st 4. Not boasting literally posting a fact.

Why do you have to justify your weight by referring to 3 babies? Being pregnant doesn't mean ending up overweight.

Yes, you are medically obese, and the problem is so many people are we lose sight of normal weight and shape.

Show quote history

You might feel overweight but you wouldn't be medically overweight at 9 stone, youd be on the low side of healthy. Maybe it's you that's lost sight of what a healthy weight is!.

ImAGoodPerson · 26/03/2023 09:41

sayitaintsobow · 25/03/2023 19:29

How are you overweight at 9 stone if you're 5'4?

Show quote history

I am5ft4 and definitely look chubby at 9.5st if i wasnt exercising, when i was exercising I was a dress size smaller than normal at 9.5st. I used to think I looked chubby if I was over 8st11! Now I am getting on for 12st and I hate how fat I look. I seem to be struggling so much mentally to get the motivation to lose weight but am so unhappy this weight.

That photo of you doesn't look like you are overweight at all.

Blossomtoes · 26/03/2023 09:46

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 08:19

I would be overweight at 9st and I am your height. Max weight when pregnant full term was 8 st 4. Not boasting literally posting a fact.

Why do you have to justify your weight by referring to 3 babies? Being pregnant doesn't mean ending up overweight.

Yes, you are medically obese, and the problem is so many people are we lose sight of normal weight and shape.

Show quote history

You wouldn’t be overweight at 9st, you’d be bang in the middle of the healthy range. As it is you’re underweight. And have definitely lost sight of normal weight.

WollyWinka · 26/03/2023 09:50

Blossomtoes · 26/03/2023 09:46

You wouldn’t be overweight at 9st, you’d be bang in the middle of the healthy range. As it is you’re underweight. And have definitely lost sight of normal weight.

Show quote history

Oh please. You always think you know best. I am not underweight, BMI spot on 18.5. I have rolls of fat on my belly, and I have tiny hands, and a very small frame. Don't try to tell me what I am. You've never seen or met me. If I posted a photo, you'd see.

Tealsofa · 26/03/2023 10:01

Unicornsaregreat · 25/03/2023 19:08

I’m 5”7

At my heaviest (12 stone) I felt awful

I’m 10 stone 10 now and would still like to shift a stone

I'm 57ish and I look positively ill at 10 stone 10

I think my happy weight is around 11.7

Stugs · 26/03/2023 10:05

Tealsofa · 26/03/2023 10:01

I'm 57ish and I look positively ill at 10 stone 10

I think my happy weight is around 11.7

Show quote history

Me too, same age. I'm 12.7 which is too heavy but 11.7 is fine.

Hotvimto3 · 26/03/2023 10:09

BeretRaspberry · 25/03/2023 19:02

I was a size 12/14 at 13 stone and 5’6”.

Me too. Probably my slimmest.

MrNook · 26/03/2023 10:19

Viviennemary · 25/03/2023 21:42

Its too heavy. Lose 2 stone and you will look a lot better. 3 stone better still.

She didn't fucking ask

MrNook · 26/03/2023 10:22

Hope all the perfect slim women feel better now they've told someone who says she's previously had anorexia that she needs to lose weight or is too big.

These competitive " I'm really slim" threads are so boring and unhealthy

Iwantmyoldnameback · 26/03/2023 10:23

OP you look amazing.

Knackeredandalsotired · 26/03/2023 10:23

Curious as to why people think “I admire your confidence” was meant bitchily?

I often think the same about women who are larger but look amazing (to me). Perhaps “admire” seems the wrong word because OF COURSE being overweight is not a cause for shame that “should” take away our confidence. But let’s be realistic, in many cases (including me), it does.

We are all told skinny is good. Whatever. Whether or not we want to, or are doing anything to change our weight, there is no point giving up on our appearance or putting life on hold in the meantime.

I see women looking beautiful when their body shapes don’t conform to socially accepted norms and yes, I admire that.

Upsywavy · 26/03/2023 10:27

Curious as to why people think “I admire your confidence” was meant bitchily?

Presumably because it suggests that someone in a larger body needs confidence to have the audactity to exist in their own body and wear x, y or z. I don't think it's necessarily meant bitchily because a lot of people genuinely feel this way which is sad.

BeautifulWar · 26/03/2023 10:31

You wouldn’t be overweight at 9st, you’d be bang in the middle of the healthy range. As it is you’re underweight. And have definitely lost sight of normal weight.

With a small frame, this might well be overweight. And yes, people can be healthy at a size 4 or 6 if that's their natural frame. Even if I were severely underweight, I could never be that size because my frame wouldn't allow it!

Weight/size/body shape is such an emotional subject puerile seem to lose all perspective and common sense.

SallyWD · 26/03/2023 10:33

Wow, I've seen your photo and was not expecting you to look like that given your weight and height. Amazing! I'm 5ft8 and look overweight at 11 stone. At 13 stone 7lbs I'd look very fat. It's so interesting how we all carry weight differently.