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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be surprised these children don’t have proper beds?

383 replies

FlappyValley · 23/02/2023 22:14

Out of DC’s friends whose houses we’ve visited, I’ve seen three who don’t have proper beds, just a mattress on the floor. I’m really surprised because these aren’t poor families by any means (professional jobs, foreign holidays, nice clothes, etc) and the parents all have beds themselves! AIBU to think a bed is one of the most basic things you’d buy your child if your standard of living is generally good? Or is this totally normal?

OP posts:
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7
Kaibashira · 23/02/2023 23:28

LucyLeave · 23/02/2023 22:36

Yes they would. It's a basic requirement for children to have a bed.

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Uh-oh. I guess half of Japan is going to get reported to Children's Services now.

My kids sleep on futons so they can be rolled up and put away during the day, creating extra space.

Downsize2021 · 23/02/2023 23:30

I loved when my relatives would visit and my biggest sister had to give them her room so us three girls slept together. We argued over who got the mattress on the floor and even after they left and the biggest sister got her room back, me and the sister who had bunk beds would get my mum to let us keep the floor mattress for an extra week so we could take turns on it! Loved a floor bed!

00100001 · 23/02/2023 23:30

Moveoverdarlin · 23/02/2023 23:24

I’m with the OP. Happy for my dog to sleep on a mattress on the floor but us humans in the home require a bed, next to a bedside table, with a lamp on and somewhere to put your book, drink and bits. I just think ‘floor beds’ look like a squat or student digs.

Wow, nice... Millions of Humans sleep on or close to the floor... In perfectly nice places...

Sleepyblueocean · 23/02/2023 23:30

Some children sleep better on mattresses on the floor than they do in beds. It's a sensory thing for some.

saraclara · 23/02/2023 23:30

Solittletimeforwine · 23/02/2023 22:52

💯

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Hardly. Because it's a very middle class trend. It's the MC Montessori mums who are taking this route and their MC friends are copying it.

dogdaydown · 23/02/2023 23:33

FlappyValley · 23/02/2023 23:26

Perhaps it's cultural?

The families are not from cultures where this is common afaik but now I know it’s a Montessori thing it makes more sense in the context

Oh so it's suddenly fine and all
Your concerns have gone because it's "Montessori" .....

Dear god! If it's got a trendy name it's fine, if not is SS worthy.

Ever thought of having your own views and ideas?

VintageVest · 23/02/2023 23:34

My youngest has a floorbed. I breastfeed him to sleep and this is easier on a floorbed than in a cot. My eldest was in the same bed until he was 4. I assure you the room looks nothing like a squat.

motherofqilins · 23/02/2023 23:38

I think if it is seen a concern for SS depends of the general state of the rest of the house. A floor bed that is tidy, clean and in a clean tidy room is obviously going to make a very different impression of how the child is looked after then if the house is unhygienic and unkept.

Notcontent · 23/02/2023 23:38

It can be a great space solution as you could put the mattress against a wall to create more space during the day or, being low, it could become part of the play space.

I slept on a futon mattress when I lived in Japan. It was great!

EyesOnThePies · 23/02/2023 23:39

LucyLeave · 23/02/2023 22:34

All children should have a proper bed. I don't care how trendy it is to sleep on the floor.

SS would be all over a WC family if their children didn't have a proper bed.

No. They wouldn’t.

Not for a mattress with warm clean bedding.

Why would they? The child is sleeping in a soft comfy surface, with warm enough bedding, at no disadvantage at all.

Eyerollcentral · 23/02/2023 23:40

00100001 · 23/02/2023 23:26

Oh the same child that was rolling round and crawling on the same floor 30 minutes previously as part of their game with their cuddly toys?

Yes, you might as well put them to sleep on a leaky raft in an open sewer if you're going to allow them to sleep 5cm above that same filthy disgusting infested carpet...

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Most children tend to at least have their hands and faces washed before they are put in to bed and yeah who knows what is lurking in a carpet?? You know that people walk on often with shoes that have been outside. I wouldn’t fancy lying on a mattress on a floor for that very reason.

Micasasucasa · 23/02/2023 23:40

This thread has absolutely blown my mind. My daughter sleeps on a double mattress on the floor with a spare double mattress underneath. To begin with it was down to finances but in time it didn't seem worth getting a frame. She has clean clothes, clean sheets, has fresh meals cooked for her daily, is very loved and is generally a very content, thriving, happy child. To think that people consider that she is neglected just because her mattress isn't on a bit of wood when the house is well kept and my child is well cared for really has just absolutely fried my brain

motherofqilins · 23/02/2023 23:41

@Eyerollcentral obviously it would be a shoes off policy or at least no shoes in the bedroom rule

InsertMoniker · 23/02/2023 23:41

Interesting to know it’s a Montessori thing though - that makes sense!

Also a thing for children and adults with LD. My 35 year old dd with significant LD sleeps on a mattress on the floor. Then she doesn't go far if she falls out.
Also encourages her to stay in it. More comfy, if your penchant is to sleep anywhere you choose in the room, to choose that squashy large rectangle in the corner. Also, I just lean it up against the wall during the day to get some airflow.
Not a huge deal.

teddibear · 23/02/2023 23:42

I mean I know this isn't Asia but I grew up in Asia and don't see why you have to sleep elevated? We don't ever wear shoes indoors, and have heated floors in Asia though.

Eyerollcentral · 23/02/2023 23:42

motherofqilins · 23/02/2023 23:41

@Eyerollcentral obviously it would be a shoes off policy or at least no shoes in the bedroom rule

I would like to think so

Lockheart · 23/02/2023 23:43

I used to LOVE sleeping on the floor as a child. I'm not really sure why exactly, but it was super exciting. Maybe I just had a very boring childhood but I remember when we moved house and I had to sleep on the floor on a mattress for a few days while all the furniture was moved and rebuilt. It was fantastic.

Original poster
FlappyValley · 23/02/2023 23:43

@teddibear agree heated floors are far more sensible!

OP posts:
teddibear · 23/02/2023 23:43

And in Asia we don't really do carpeted floors which I agree are gross.

Ireadthenewstodayohboy · 23/02/2023 23:45

My DH is a social worker and says if he saw children's bedrooms with a mattress on the floor instead of a bed he would note it down, but it would only be an issue if it was part of a bigger picture of neglect. On its own it wouldn't cause concern.

PennyRa · 23/02/2023 23:45

You are not the authority on what an appropriation bed is. There are many reasons why someone may chose that including culture, beliefs, or safety. It could just be the child chose it because it makes them happy

motherofqilins · 23/02/2023 23:45

@teddibear having grown up in Asia I feel the same. I can't stand carpet floors for my home.

MyOldFriendTime · 23/02/2023 23:47

HettySucks · 23/02/2023 22:35

I remember not having a bed in my teens for a few years, just a mattress on the floor. Can't remember why but didn't bother me and didn't make any difference to anything. We were financially stable. Probably just wasn't a priority when I was fine on floor.

I really wanted just a mattress on the floor as a teen (along with black walls 😂) it would've been so cool. I never got it though.

I really don't see an issue with having a mattress on the floor, and as long as a child has a mattress with warm/clean sheets/covers I don't suppose SS care much either.

Original poster
FlappyValley · 23/02/2023 23:47

@Ireadthenewstodayohboy yes, that makes sense. Definitely not saying it is a cause of concern in itself!

OP posts:
Original poster
FlappyValley · 23/02/2023 23:48

Off to (dare I say it) bed now, but I’ve learnt why this seems to be a trend among the people in my area, so the thread has satisfied my curiosity!

Goodnight all - sleep soundly on your bed of choice 💤

OP posts: