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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Referring to sex as "intimacy" is just gross

111 replies

AdamRyan · 27/01/2023 21:39

Noticed it on here a lot, usually from male posters tbh complaining about lack of "intimacy" in their marriage when they mean sex

Then just read an article in another thread where a prostitute says some of her clients "only want intimacy for 15 minutes " then they just want to talk

Its really getting on my wick. Sex and intimacy are not the same thing! Grrrr

Aibu?

OP posts:
AnneLovesGilbert · 27/01/2023 21:44

Making love is worse.

PennyToffee · 27/01/2023 21:46

Doing the deed is even more cringy.

XenoBitch · 27/01/2023 21:47

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/01/2023 21:44

Making love is worse.

Ugh, yes! Sometimes you just want to get off. No love involved in it.

AnneLovesGilbert · 27/01/2023 21:49

You’re right OP, intimacy covers a lot more than just shagging.

WhiskeyMakesMeFrisky · 27/01/2023 21:56

PennyToffee · 27/01/2023 21:46

Doing the deed is even more cringy.

DTD 😂😂

Itgoesalittlesomethinglikethis · 27/01/2023 21:56

It would be worse to say "make fuck" like the guy does in the Shirley Valentine film.

To revisit the question, I agree with OP.

CantAskAnyoneElse · 27/01/2023 21:57

It does make a person saying that Holier-than-thou.
And yes, it’s often used by sex pest men who try their best (and failing) to come of as a creep.

Love making never bothered me, sounds nice to me🥰

CantAskAnyoneElse · 27/01/2023 21:59

XenoBitch · 27/01/2023 21:47

Ugh, yes! Sometimes you just want to get off. No love involved in it.

Show quote history

I’m glad to see this honesty.
So many times people try and say they have to have sex because that is how they ’show’ or ’feel’ love. 🤣🙄

Original poster
AdamRyan · 27/01/2023 22:00

Making love/doing the deed are just twee euphemisms

Intimacy actually has a whole other meaning that is nor necessarily sexual

I feel like it actually debases sexual intimacy to call all sex intimacy. Prostitute sex is the opposite of intimate!

I may be over thinking though Grin

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 27/01/2023 22:00

I worked for a company with a French CEO.
He insisted that when we did our expenses we put down taking clients out for meals as “intimacy”. Made us snigger every time.

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/01/2023 22:01

XenoBitch · 27/01/2023 21:47

Ugh, yes! Sometimes you just want to get off. No love involved in it.

Show quote history

Speak for yourself. That doesn't work for everybody.

Sukisal · 27/01/2023 22:01

PennyToffee · 27/01/2023 21:46

Doing the deed is even more cringy.

Topped only by the nethuns special “baby dancing” aka BD’ing.

Sukisal · 27/01/2023 22:02

Hoppinggreen · 27/01/2023 22:00

I worked for a company with a French CEO.
He insisted that when we did our expenses we put down taking clients out for meals as “intimacy”. Made us snigger every time.

Oh god I love him already! I’d have such fun with that.

XenoBitch · 27/01/2023 22:05

NeverDropYourMooncup · 27/01/2023 22:01

Speak for yourself. That doesn't work for everybody.

Show quote history

Well, for me to shag someone, I need to feel horny. If it is a romantic relationship then I guess the added love is a bonus, but I have never looked at someone with love and thought I wanted to shag them...
I think the two things are separate.. and that can be a whole different thread!

katseyes7 · 27/01/2023 22:08

My ex husband used to refer to sex as 'a cuddle'.
That word makes me feel physically sick now.

CrazyBiscuits · 27/01/2023 22:10

What about "when are we likely to fornicate again?". Well never was my answer after nearly gagging!

jetadore · 27/01/2023 22:11

Snu snu, innit?

Rockingcloggs · 27/01/2023 22:12

CrazyBiscuits · 27/01/2023 22:10

What about "when are we likely to fornicate again?". Well never was my answer after nearly gagging!

Please tell me this is true?!

antipodeancanary · 27/01/2023 22:13

Yeah I hate it. This is how it often goes on Mumsnet....'DH has erectile dysfunction so we can't have sex, I miss it' Replying poster 'Do you have other sorts of intimacy?'
??? Wtf does that mean?
I'm intimate with my mum and my DS. Am I doing something wrong?

stripedsox · 27/01/2023 22:13

I make love in the full sense with dh, what of it? Hate the expression shagging and dtd ffs.

Hawkins002 · 27/01/2023 22:15

@AdamRyan
I always presumed intimacy, covered the topic with politeness, rather than crude words to describe love making ?

CrescentMoons · 27/01/2023 22:15

Copulation says Sheldon Cooper

Hawkins002 · 27/01/2023 22:17

CrescentMoons · 27/01/2023 22:15

Copulation says Sheldon Cooper

Also from the big bang theory, although I think he was quoting Leonard, but either way, the dance with no pants

BunchHarman · 27/01/2023 22:17

I can’t bear it when people say they have/haven’t ‘been intimate’. 🤢

BunchHarman · 27/01/2023 22:18

‘Make love’ can get in the vomit bowl as well.