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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Referring to sex as "intimacy" is just gross

111 replies

AdamRyan · 27/01/2023 21:39

Noticed it on here a lot, usually from male posters tbh complaining about lack of "intimacy" in their marriage when they mean sex

Then just read an article in another thread where a prostitute says some of her clients "only want intimacy for 15 minutes " then they just want to talk

Its really getting on my wick. Sex and intimacy are not the same thing! Grrrr

Aibu?

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 28/01/2023 12:07

Cocobutt · 28/01/2023 11:58

There's a very big difference between female as an adjective and female as a noun, surely?

The former is a normal descriptor, used commonly when communicating; whereas 'A female' sounds like you're talking about an animal.

So it’s ok for the OP to say ‘male’ but using the word ‘female’ is somehow wrong or makes me a man? Ok 🤔

OP used ‘male’ as and adjective and you used ‘female’ as an adjective. Neither of you used them as nouns. The comment you quoted was defending your usage.

DontdothisDothat · 28/01/2023 12:14

I like rapprochement.

I shall place this cigarette holder here and pass us our martini glasses dahling, if you could just hold my boa as I kick off my mules.

Cocobutt · 28/01/2023 12:26

OP used ‘male’ as and adjective and you used ‘female’ as an adjective. Neither of you used them as nouns. The comment you quoted was defending your usage.

You are correct thanks!

I misread as I know certain posters like to try and erase the word female and so I was being defensive for no reason.

Original poster
AdamRyan · 28/01/2023 12:27

Cocobutt · 28/01/2023 11:29

YABU

The majority of these threads are started by female posters whose partner would happily have sex with them but there’s not enough intimacy.

Sex is sex.
It’s literally putting a penis in a vagina.
Intimacy is completely different.

Literally the title of my thread makes it clear I think sex and intimacy are different Confused and I'm annoyed by people (mainly men) saying intimacy when they mean sex Confused

I think we are saying the same thing so not sure why you started with IABU

OP posts:
Original poster
AdamRyan · 28/01/2023 12:28

Anyway .... no one has but up screwing yet. Maybe that died out in the 70s

I wish i was Irish as I quite like riding as a term

OP posts:
Bbq1 · 28/01/2023 12:49

Coitus - Sheldon

Bbq1 · 28/01/2023 12:53

Samuel Pepys referred to the "cunny"

roarfeckingroarr · 28/01/2023 12:53

I use intimacy as a term to refer to sex but also the physical affection that comes with having a good sex life. My relationship is lacking intimacy in all respects and I miss all aspects of the intimacy from sex to general affection.

IsThePopeCatholic · 28/01/2023 13:00

theworldhas · 27/01/2023 22:44

But do these people who like to be intimate live in a “naice” area? 🫥

No. I see it more as coyness. Some people have a problem with the word ‘sex’, for some reason. In the same way that ‘gender’ is used instead of sex.

wyntersuhn · 28/01/2023 13:43

JerkintheMerkin · 28/01/2023 06:16

Am surprised anyone hasn't mentioned "sexy time" which just gives me the absolute rage.

I came here to say 'sexy time'!
DH likes to refer to it as 'Mummy and Daddy time' which I find so blergh!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 28/01/2023 13:46

Cocobutt

Yes, as PP said, I was backing you up!

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