Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

@ApplePieOrCry how is not denying biological reality right wing?! I'm intrigued...

Yep. My 12 year old understands that no one can change their biological sex. Same as all his friends.

I’m early 30s and I agree with the OP. I won’t be putting my preferred pronouns on my emails at any point. My gender is not ever relevant to my emails, nor do I want it to be. People responding will not refer to me in their reply in the third person so why do I need to declare it? Why and how is it relevant? My name is on my email it, people can refer to me using it.

People think that a site called Mum'snet has an average age range of 55+.
The biology understanding is really not strong in this cohort...

Gransnet you might have a point, albeit a rather ageist one...

Thankfully this view seems to be an older person one and therefore in 15-20 years time when you’ve aged out of the workforce it will be a much better place all round. Until the next drama.

Age is a protected characteristic under the equality act

When I joined my current NHS trust I had to fill in a form to get my ID badge, on which it asked for my pronouns. I deliberately did not fill it in.

Yet when it arrived, it clearly said she/her in the top corner. What an assumption! The irony 🙄

Ooh I couldn't answer that without being arsey, so I best not answer. Beaming smile.

Do you like being forced to do things you don't agree with? Why should anyone be forced to use pronouns?

I recently found out, if someone questions you not using pronouns, just say you're pronoun-less. It ends the argument almost immediately as any response can be argued in the same way as not using the correct pronouns. It's incredibly stupid but it works, a petty form of malicious compliance.

Carbaction, if someone else has preferred pronouns, I will use them. (unless it feels far too much like lying, which makes my ASD brain really uncomfortable. In that case I will use the person's name, or they/them, because I don't want to upset them)

But I don't have a preference for mine. I use 'I' and 'me' for myself, and you can you 'you' when talking to me. If you're talking about me in the third person, then first off, it's likely I'm not there (or you're being rude) but secondly, use whichever ones you're comfortable with. I've been called 'he' before (I'm female) and I didn't care.

What I'm not ok with is having to announce my sex or gender on an email, or trying to police other's speech. Trying to force someone to use different language would make me feel far more uncomfortable than being mis-gendered.

This is a false argument.

Being gender critical in and of itself is not transphobic.

Right wing conservative commentators and public figures do use gender critical rhetoric as a narrow basis for much more overt transphobia though.

It's actually quite a common tactic for bigoted views to be sold to the wider public. Find that common ground that people agree to, but then use it to push their own narrative further.

I haven’t been harassed about pronouns yet, but if it happens, I’ll look very indignant and I’ll ask if they are trying to say I don’t look feminine enough.

Uno reverse card until they start apologising to me.

And if pressed - oh you really don't have time to hear my opinions on pronouns! So I keep them for outside work.

if you told me this is what would be happening in 2022 i just would not have believed you

my pronouns are cool, and person

Try ‘it’. Then everyone will refer to you in a silence if the Lambs creepy way.

Will it be attending todays teams meeting?

Explain you are to be referred to as 'oh great ruler' because you identify as a ruler of your world and a mathematical ruler

Some of my Leftiest friends are gender critical. (We are all under 45 by the way 😁)

If you can't see a problem with compelled speech, I don't expect you to be able to uphold any human rights. So it may be true this country will be very different in 15 years time, just not in the way you think.

the irony of this comment, can you imagine the uproar if someone was forced not to use pronouns?

Aw, bless. In 20 years' time, I'll be entering the 55+ age bracket. The British workplace is going to have me in it for a long time yet, unless I win the lottery.

Are pronouns not real now?

The ability to change sex is not real. You knew that though.

If you were atheist and I told you that from now on in order to be inclusive of Christians you must sign off all emails with 'Yours in Christ' and must choose if you would prefer to be known as 'sister in Christ' or 'Brother in Christ'. Would that be OK?

In 15 years time people will be walking around saying 'remember when people - seemingly intelligent people - thought you could actually change biological sex, and men could literally become women?!

Oh how we'll laugh.

Nrtft, if you don't like gender critical you can try reality based. After all it is impossible for any mammal to change sex, that's the reality. As for pronouns, it's not a quasi-religion that I subscribe to.

If you haven't already please sign the following petition, share with anyonewho might be interestedin sign but might not, fwr, have seen it. While you're there take a sojourn and check out some of the other petitions.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/petitions_noticeboard/4668426-petition-update-the-equality-act-to-make-clear-the-characteristic-sex-is-biological-sex

NOBODY THINKS THAT!

The irony of this 😂