Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

Good point

It makes perfect sense on emails, where it may not be obvious to someone from a different culture whether your name is male/female/other, I don't know why it would be a bother to include them in your email signature to that end. It helps save embarrassment all round.

In person I suppose it's a small inconvenience to you to make make others feel included. What's your specific problem with doing so (I've only skimmed the thread so apologies if you've already said and I've missed it)?

@Dreamwhisper If you can make a choice to declare/ acknowledge pronouns, it must mean that I can make a choice not to.

I just refuse and say, sorry but trans ideology is against my beliefs, I can't engage with it but have a nice day. If they insisted, I'd put in a grievance stating that I am being discriminated against for my beliefs. If necessary, I will claim to be religious. Whatever it takes to get them to fuck off.

I don't give a shit whether or not you feel like a man/woman, you're not bloody Shania Twain, grow up and leave your personal shit at home. It's not the sort of thing that has a place in the workplace for me.

It’s important to be inclusive, and the stating of preferred pronouns avoids any confusion or embarrassment if someone assumes you are “she” for example, if you don’t identify as such. There are many people who may “look” like they would automatically be “she/her/him/his” etc but they do not self identify as those things, rather than single people out who we might not be sure of it is so much more inclusive to ask everyone.

And to those who are stating you should just say you don’t like stereotypes, think about the irony of that statement.
a lot of folk don’t agree with it, but it’s the reality of the world we live in and everybody has a right to feel included.

*NOBODY THINKS THAT!

The irony of this 😂*

Yes they do!

Yes it does. What I was saying was stop pretending that people disagreeing with you is an attack on free speech.

it only makes sense to include YOUR pronouns if youre bothered whether someone is referring to you. correctly or not. someone can refer to me as he/she/they/twat and i'l be quite happy to correct them if he/she/they/twat is wrong.

Most people do not think that being trans means you have biologically changed sex. That's where the trans part comes in?

Just because trolls on twitter try to wind people up by saying stuff like that, doesn't mean it's the majority opinion.

This isn’t about inclusion. It’s demanding we all validate someone’s delusion. Men are not, and never will be, women. Why must I pretend? The answer cannot be ‘to be kind’.

Well experiments show that having a male name on your email means you will get quicker, more helpful, more polite responses. So putting she/her may actually disadvantage those people who have an ambiguous name.

i dont like the idea of it being compulsory, i've worked in enough environments where being female on an email can get you ignored/discriminated again.

That being said, if you want to, then you should do it, and i also think its polite to respect the request to use another persons pronouns.

@Dreamwhisper I guess you missed the TWAW being spouted by many, many people. You are a bit behind.

NOBODY THINKS THAT!

I see TWAW bleated a fair bit. So yes they do.

That might have been true 10 years ago. We now have males referring to themselves as female though. And plenty of people claiming that there is no difference between transwomen and women so....

@HotChoxs I'm not sure that's totally true, I've definitely felt embarrassed when I've misgendered a contact in Asia before. In that case them including their pronouns would've spared my embarrassment.

Compelled speech may well lead to compelled actions.

Would it also not be a bother to stop eating meat, because others didn't like it, or for you to cover your hair because it offended others?

I am not going to do what other people want me to do, because they think their belief system is better than mine.

I'm not kind. I don't have to be. I'm an argumentative, irritating, non feminine WOMAN.

I would argue being forced to is not being inclusive. Very different from respecting what a person puts as personal pronouns, if they choose to declare them.

Better still, call a person by their name.

I was thought referring to someone as ‘she’ as opposed to their name was rude. I don’t understand when anyone needs to know this information. Seems like a tick box at inclusion.

Yabu

Well you can assume people not including their pronouns aren't bothered about being misgendered then. We managed to get by for so long without it being an issue.

Yeah sure, how hard could it be to just shut up and go along with any obnoxious cult that is being imposed on you?

I don’t use pronouns and I never will, I don’t understand why these things need announcing.

And to those who are stating you should just say you don’t like stereotypes, think about the irony of that statement.

There's no irony. I base pronoun usage on my biological ability to accurately assess sex which thanks to evolution, is pretty bloody accurate, regardless of individual fashion choices.

If you base your grammar on stereotypes it is regressive. And bad English.