Told I was 'phobic' for not using pronouns!

[NewStartIn50s]

Asked for my preferred pronouns and I said ' I don't use them', pushed on what I use to refer to myself and I said I don't use on emails or when I introduce myself or at all. Apparently, if I use them I am showing inclusivity to others and being accepting. I'm not quite a dinosaur yet but why are these things forced on us. I don't have a beard (yet) and I think you can tell what I am/but does it really matter if you can't.

So AIBU

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

YABU - you should state what your preferred pronouns are

It would be staggeringly easy. It would also be staggeringly easy for me to pop next door and burgle the house; they're not there. Doesn't mean it's a good idea, though.

Hell will freeze over before I declare my pronouns on a work email signature. Yanbu.

YANBU - don't have to use pronouns if you don't want to

My usual response, on the few occasions I have been asked, is that I would prefer that they use my name and my gender is private unless it impacts my job - in which case it is he/him & I look forward to the 10% pay rise to match the gender pay gap discrepancy.

Did you just assume the OPs gender?

Once everyone else has declared their pronouns, just say that you’re happy to go with their best guess. And you won’t be offended in the unlikely event that they get it wrong!

"JennyMule · Today 17:51
My response when asked in previous (public sector) role - I no longer work there - was to ask what other legally protected characteristics the organisation would like me to declare in meetings/emails etc. Answer, there was none 😎"

Thanks. I guess I just find the pushing of making us specify feels odd. Does it really matter. I do my job.

But she is sure..?

Yep. Ridiculous

Because it gives unwarranted endorsement to a load of bollocks?

Why unreasonable....pls explain?

My pronouns relate to my birth sex and, as such, are a protected characteristic so I will not be stating them anywhere the same as I won't be stating my marital status or religious beliefs etc.

If that makes me a dinosaur so be it but I will be teaching my DC to stand up for their own rights and not make themselves uncomfortable for the sake of someone elses feelings.

Public sector employers have a duty to promote good relations between employees who do not share a protected characteristic.

It sounds like your employer is failing spectacularly in this duty if you are being coerced/bullied into going along with a belief system you do not share.

My response would be-

Some people may not be sure of their pronouns and it may be triggering for them to have to “declare” them.
Then I’d ask how the department will be ensuring they do not victimise or trigger anyone who does not wish to declare pronouns.

Good one! If they were being really inclusive they'd ask your religion, sex, age, whether you're disabled too. But no. This is all they are interested in 🤷🏼‍♀️

It doesn’t take long for the threats to emerge.

I feel like it's a bit of a "gotcha" being asked for pronouns. As it seems so easy to just say "she/her" as that matches my sex.

Whereas I feel like stating my pronouns is actually stating that I believe in gender ideology. Which I don't, and I believe some of it is quite harmful. Though I don't have any issue with trans individuals.

A bit like I have no issue with my religious friends, but I wouldn't want to have to state which god I worship on my email (or otherwise be told I'm a bigot)

odd you’ve never come across it before, although being uneducated does seem to impact the J.K Rowling fan club more than the general population.

Oh what a card you are.

I don't really understand the organisations who push employees to do this, saying that those using the expected pronouns should do it to show support. What if the man they are saying "put him" to is actually unsure? Why is that ok?

I am not white. This is a very poor analogy. I am happy to work with anybody. I won't be forced into accepting their belief systems.

i am currently confused about my internal gender. I think I may be non binary.

please don’t force me to come out before I am ready.

In what way does not wanting to declare your pronouns make you a dinosaur? For all anyone in that room knew the OP might have been trans but was still struggling with their identity and not ready to come out yet.

Oop we’ve got TRA bingo! What’s next? Let me guess… transwomen just have a natural advantage when competing with women in sport. A bit like Michael Phelps.

How are you supposed to say it? In what way