To think lots of MN comments are unreasonable in themselves

[AllTheOtherNamesWereTaken]

I see this happen so much, what is wrong with everybody (well lots of posters) who's supposed to be providing help or support? Somebody posts with a problem and one tiny phrase gets picked apart, or one small relationship problem they're told to divorce or break up etc.

Just seen a thread posted by a mum with 5 week old baby and people are saying she's unreasonable for saying "my little family." She's full of happy hormones and I love to think of myself as having my own little family what so wrong with this.

Yesterday somebody posted because her DH earns x4 her salary and expects to her to spend as much of his birthday holiday as he did on her- instead of advice she got pummeled for mentioning the amounts, which yes are high but so what we all know lots of people make good money and we don't know how hard they've grafted and learned etc to be in that position.

Also last week I posted about wanting DH to be more involved with DS, it seems I got my tone wrong which wasn't ideal with lots of responses but one person called me abusive to him like WTF and I see this happen sometimes too when there are no abuse red flags at all.

YABU- I'm a grumpy angry person who's going to prove your point (come at me!)

YANBU- I see this too can can't we all just calm is down and be nice to people asking for help

It is stupid when someone picks up on a typo or tiny irrelevant part of the post and uses that to berate the OP instead of actually responding to the main point of the thread.

You start to notice a theme of users who choose to do it.

Well here is the weekly "why can't people only post nice things" thread. Well done.

MN has been well known for both robust posting and exceptional support.

Dont post in AIBU if you want the later.

Anyone who doesn't like the style of posting, the exit door is always open, they can go to other chat forums that have their own styles.

My favourite is when they take a tiny part of the OP and make up their own side story.

For example

”DD plays hockey three times a week. There’s a dad there who makes me feel uncomfortable and is always making passes at me. What should I do?”

<Half of MN>

”Wow when does your DD get time to be a kid? We’re you always such a slave driver?”

QED.

Well that didn't take long. Did it make you feel better though?
Yes OP there are some unnecessarily rude posters on here.

I honestly think people can't get away with being nasty in real life and think it's acceptable on here.

I put a post on last week, just wanted to vent really. It's hard because people don't know a lot of the back story. Some people were nice and some were rude, saying I love causing trouble, I'm entitled etc, I'd blown it out of proportion. Then when you look these users up they whinge about nonsense. I also notice the same users being horrible to lots of people and i grimace.

I'm sitting on my hands here so I don't post on the 'lady cycle' thread.

Absolutely.

I have been verbally abused here today.

However I find the majority of posters are pleasant and the unkind person that said I was ugly on another thread is an anomaly.

I am average looking like most people.

I doubt this person would say it to someone in real life.

It does get a little tedious though to read the same thread over and over, the site is known for its style, nothing will change so if it's not for you choose somewhere that you prefer

😂

It hets called robust when what it really is is rude and nasty.

It's mumsnet, the place to grumble snd complain because the world is against you and everything is unfair.

Yes some people on here can be quite rude - I try to ignore the nasty comments. The kind and thoughtful posters are worth their weight in gold.

Haha that's my thread. Be my guest I've already upset someone by not calling it a menstrual cycle. Some poor bloke thought I had a bicycle

I doubt this person would say it to someone in real life.

and now this, which comes up repeatedly on every one of these threads.

This isn't real life - so whether or not someone might or might not say it in real life is totally irrelevant.

Well of course there will be repetition. Because a lot of people have the same issues. I always just think not to reply to those threads if they feel samey and gravitate to the ones where I'm compelled.

YANBU. Some of the responses are obviously intended to upset, but many more derail the thread by discussing their opposite of what the OP asking about

@amiold you gave me visions of this

Oh Jesus! Haha

I've accidentally made myself look like a right Emily Howard!

All of human life (nearly) is here - then other posters come on an berate the derailers for derailing - it's all part of MN's rich tapestry.

A lot of people on here would never speak to their neighbours/colleagues/friends in the same way as they do to strangers on here over very minor things.
Plus add in the hate towards men, people in happy relationships etc (and God forbid anyone mentions a wedding!).
Often the vile comments are ‘dressed up’ as ‘MN robust responses’, nah, they’re usually still just vile comments.

Goes with the territory doesn’t it? This is not the place to come for supportive, empathetic advice, it’s a pecking party of posters completing to deliver the ‘harshest truth’.

It's enjoyable (and worrying in equal measure) seeing just how batshit some replies can be though, and it's self policing in a way too. Pretty much no-one can comment on SPAG without being called a cunt now.