What's the most wildly inappropriate thing to ever happen to you?

[badassbaby]

I'll start...
When I was 19 I was working as a waitress in a holiday hotel.
I was having a wild, incredibly exciting relationship with the hotel manager, who was a good 15 years older than me.
Guests would fill out feedback forms on the hotel.
One day my boss (Restaurant manager) called me into his office. He showed me a feedback form that stated the guests weren't able to get a proper nights sleep, due to incredibly load love making all night long from the room above them.
The restaurant manager then pointed out that the room in question was the hotel managers room (his boss)
I can't remember what I responded, but when I think about it now, what the hell was he thinking of?!? And why question me about it and not the hotel manager?
I had the arrogance of youth so of course carried on exactly as before 😂
So what's yours?

Not me, but at secondary school it was well known that various teachers were having ongoing 'relationships' with pupils. One male teacher was known for 'helping' boys who were confused about their sexuality. This was in the 90s. Sickening.

I was babysitting at 16 baby and toddler was teething. The father said he wasn’t up to going out not feeling well and so just the wife went I thought oh I will go home then he said might join her later. The minute she left he was downstairs in a towel with a bottle of wine and two glasses. I managed to ring my boyfriend btw I was a virgin still so although I had a boyfriend it was still a fairly innocent relationship at that point. Landlines only and no mobiles phones back then. The Dad got wind of me calling and stormed off to the party. They both came back from the party as a drunk couple and the wife asked why all the phones were off the hook? The Dad explained I was having my boyfriend round so didn’t want to be disturbed. He then offered to walk me home because there are some strange people around . None stranger than you I said in front of his wife . My parents weren’t shocked or worried they just laughed about it but looking back he had a number plate with A9 todge on it and a handlebar moustache so literally looked like a pervert.

In the 90s my head of year department of my degree was sleeping with a first year, second and third year student on rotation. It wasn’t rumour I saw the first year snogging him on his lap in his office . She then would stand next to him with a clipboard as his wifelet. It was a kind of casting couch system so there were a lot of blondes on the course. If you were favoured you got more studio space more materials budget and who knows how the marking system went. It was a hand in the cookie jar situation but u couldn’t say anything because the girls were willing one of them still features on the Uni course literature to this day. A technican who was an ex girlfriend of his threw one girls work in a skip because she could literally see how the fresh meat was coming in and all the favours. He had a tiny office that was like a cupboard where u had your crit his critical assessment of your work. I remember him pulling a stray hair off my jumper on my boob and it was a test . I flinched and went bright red. So he knew no go area. I bloody hated having those meetings in his cupboard it felt like a game of cat and mouse . Thank fully they eventually put a woman in charge of the course who was more professional what annoys me is I got into Student debt into the thousands for a course for a grey haired old man to get his oats in essentially

I met a very shy young woman once, (in the 80s) who volunteered at a charity, where she had to regularly sit in a tiny room seeing clients one to one. One day a man suddenly started to masturbate, and she didn't know what to do. She thought she wasn't allowed to leave him alone in the room, so she sat there until he finished, when he just got up, said thanks, and left. She was so traumatised she never went back.

One of the worst, looking back, but didn't seem a big deal at the time, was when I was about 13 (early 80's) going trick or treating, a man who opened the door said if I gave him a kiss, he'd give me a fiver (lot of money to me at the time) - I did, and he full on snogged me. I probably looked about 9 years old.
Others - as a 16 year old in my first job, my boss regularly offered to 'deflower' me.

Had a job interview when about 18, and the bloke interviewing me started to massage my neck while I was doing a typing test.
When about 19 one of the bosses used to regularly get girls on their own and grope them, we used to try to make sure no-one was ever left in a room alone when he was about.
Being flashed at work over the years - many times.
So depressing, isn't it?

In my late 30s and I have several similar stories to these as both a young and older teenager from inappropriate comments made by random older men in public, the usual tooting of car horns walking home from school in uniform/wolf whistling etc, vile comments made by senior men at work in my early 20s, pervert male driver instructor and inappropriate remarks by an older family member when I was 15! Probably loads more incidents I’ve blacked out. I stupidly remember feeling flattered being chatted up as a teenager by much older removal men during our house move 🤢 There were many cases of school girls at my high school hooking up with Teachers and even one getting pregnant at 14 by the school bus driver!
Reading how commonplace this is and how accepting we all were when younger makes me feel really sick and worried for my DD’s future.

There really should be more emphasis on educating both sexes about consent and respect in schools.

I babysat my nephews one night for my husbands brother and his wife. They came home a bit drunk and tried everything they could think of to get me into bed with them for a threesome! Naturally I declined and never babysat again, Norris I tell my husband although I did wonder what happened with subsequent babysitters after that.

I dunno if there was something about coming of age pre 2000 but when I think back I did a lot of crazy things from the age of 14 onwards which I just don't believe young women would do today.
I remember being surrounded by a culture of people pleasing and just being desperate for all men to want me. If a man paid me any attention at all I wouldn't think it was creepy, I would lap it up. My friends and I all wore brightly coloured bras underneath our school shirts which were a couple of sizes too small. Our favourite brands were Playboy or Porn Star 69 and we wore tiny t-shirts with pictures of topless women on them. By the time I got to 20 I lost count of the number of men I'd had sex with and I thought I was doing so well on it.
It is down to luck alone that I wasn't murdered!

HOWEVER
In the spirit of lightening the mood the most inappropriate (and not just downright stupid / scary) thing I have ever done is...
I used to work in a very target motivated industry and the structure had recently changed so the targets were getting harder to meet. We had a particular push to meet targets one month, with our extremely well paid head of department offering various rewards. Royal Mail went on strike the last working day of the month so no cheques arrived and we missed our target by £100K (which was a small amount for the department). For some unknown reason, in the managers meeting the next day I felt the need to shout out to the head of department "come on nickname that we called him behind his back, but he didn't know about just re-mortgage your house to get us over the line". An ominous silence fell across the room. That night we went on a manager night out and HOD came with us. I drank too much and essentially told him that I knew he let me get away with it because I was his favourite, he recruited me and if he fired me it would be like admitting that he had made a big mistake in his choice. Most oddly, the man handed in his resignation with immediate effect the very next day!

Reading this thread has made me truly realise that men are allowed to regard all women as objects of sexual gratification. But how do men start thinking this? When does it begin? Is it power, insecurity, porn? Are girls brought up to please?

Something that happened to a young colleague, a little over 30 years ago now….

She was the only woman, working in an open plan office with a small group of Health & Safety Executive inspectors - all older men - where the door to the loo was off that same office (i.e. not in a corridor).

One day she picked up her handbag and walked towards the door to the loo - as she opened the door, one of the Inspectors shouted across the room, “Time of the month is it Sue?” (name changed), which he thought was just hilarious 😡

She was of course mortified 🙁 The repercussions to him after she complained was a mild talking to from his boss. She meanwhile felt uncomfortable working there, and left soon after.

Wow. I’m so so sorry to hear this update from your sister.

It isn’t too late. And fuck who you upset, what matters is you. Have you had any counselling?

Something that happened to me when I was just 13…

My Nan had made me a smock dress (very fashionable in the early ‘70s y’know!), and I tried it on and went to show my dad who was outside talking to a friend. I said “What do you think?” His friend replied with a smirky leer, “Well, lift it up then”. My dad just laughed along with him.

I can remember feeling confused and embarrassed, and just rushed back into the house - and for a long time wondered why my dad hadn’t said anything to his friend.

Many years later I found out my dad wasn’t actually my dad at all….

Either way, completely inappropriate thing to say to a child 🤬

Such awful stories.

hopefully things will be better for our daughters

Completely the opposite of some of the men mentioned here, but equally as odd. I made friends with a male colleague who was a few years older than me (I was around 20 at the time). He was a quiet chap and didn't socialise much with others in the office but we got on and used to walk the same route part of the way home. Once a week we would go to the pub for a pint before walking home, conversation was about nothing in particular, very pleasant and refreshing compared to the male attention that I was used to.
One day we went to the pub and he informed me that he had fallen in love with someone else so we would have to break up. It turned out that he thought we were in a relationship with each other the whole time and he was worried about breaking my heart!!

I also find meetup groups to be a minefield. I go to a meetup group that has hundreds of people. The organiser is male. It is the best meetup group in our area. He runs a WhatsApp group of hundreds of people. He puts lists of rules of what we are allowed to say in the WhatsApp group. He definitely likes the power.

I went to a party that he organised last week. I noticed that he was very handsy with all the women. Under pretense of hugs, but he was definitely getting gropes in. He came over to me and put his arm around my shoulders from behind. He didn't place his hand on my back. He reached around my front and placed his hand directly on my left boob. He cupped it from the side.

Sadly I know from previous experience of complaining in a different group, that if I complain, it will be me who will have to leave the group, and nothing will be said to him as a) he is male and b) he organises a lot of events for the community.

People would say, John? But he does so much for the community. He is a pillar of the community etc etc.

Probably a discussion for another thread, but definitely a very strong societal message that our worth is almost entirely based on our fuckability, therefore even unwelcome sexual advances subliminally tell us to welcome the value being bestowed upon us. It’s a head fuck, especially when we are young and without power or voice.

This article reads even more harrowing, if possible, in light of this thread:

www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2022/nov/08/martyna-ognonowksa-justice-system-rape-myths-women

Yup! A message implanted in children of all sexes from year nought. It's alarming especially when you see its repercussions. I think EVERY female has been abused by a male in some stage of their life.

This is not inappropriate as such, but has destroyed my trust in men..

My partner of 15 years, so gentle, polite, thoughtful and always seemed to absolutely adore me. Everyone who knew us used to say how he looks at me so lovingly. He never ever gave a second look to passing women, never made comments if we saw hot actresses on tv, never flirted with any of my friends.. I truly thought i was lucky because he didn't seem sleazy at all. He used to say i am the most beautiful woman he'd ever met and only has eyes for me..
But then i found out he'd been fucking prostitutes during our time together. Even vulnerable ones like kerb crawlers and foreign girls from poor countries. Sex addiction was mentioned. They make good money doing it..the whole list of minimisers..

What to make of the male population as a whole.. Are there any genuinely good ones out there? I have my own list of other stories like I'm sure all of us do, but there is something seriously wrong here, and it's shattered my world view..

@LiliLolp I'm sorry for your experience, but, as a man, the nice guys often come last and the bad boys seem much more exciting and attractive to many - even those who are famous for treating women badly.

In 1976 me and a female friend went on holiday to New York for our 21st birthdays, we stayed in a really nice hotel (in a tiny room but needs must)
The hotel had a bar styled like an English pub where we used to go and eat, two young English girls were such a novelty the whole staff befriended us and kept an eye on us.
One evening we had just finished our meal, when a guy approached our table, looked me straight in the eye and asked me 'How much'? For a split second I didn't understand, then the penny dropped!!!!!! Straight away the maitre'd and two of the waiters grabbed the guy and threw him out. Apparently for years women were not 'allowed ' to frequent bars when not accompanied by a man, this rule was relaxed somewhat, but obviously there were still men that thought lone women were looking for 'business' Not that it mattered, but I was dressed quite conservatively and just sat chatting with my friend. Thank God the staff were watching over us!!!!

Tone deaf 🙄

nice guys often come last and the bad boys seem much more exciting and attractive to many

Are just like the rest of them.

But you know, really it's all the fault of women for finding bad boys so irresistible, even when they masquerade as so called 'nice guys'.

And then there are the 'nice guys' who read 10 pages of a thread about trusted men assaulting women and let it whoosh straight past them

😡

Christ alive! Read the room. This isn’t a ohh dem poor nice lads they get overlooked for a bad un
Theme in the posts is men forcing themselves (literally) on women, scaring women,abusing privilege, using status to dominate & objectify women
i really shouldn’t have to point out the obvious
I really don’t want women narrative being diverted or minimised because you’re chosing an inappropriate time to ask us to consider poor nice guy men
I'll bet you a fair percentage of these men who perpetrated these acts are considered nice guys , decent, good sort, nice job. Rapists, bullies, predators they’re someone brother,husband,boss and probably considered nice guys

I really shouldn’t have to explain this

stop closing down our experience with ohhh but what about the nice guys .