What's the most wildly inappropriate thing to ever happen to you?

[badassbaby]

I'll start...
When I was 19 I was working as a waitress in a holiday hotel.
I was having a wild, incredibly exciting relationship with the hotel manager, who was a good 15 years older than me.
Guests would fill out feedback forms on the hotel.
One day my boss (Restaurant manager) called me into his office. He showed me a feedback form that stated the guests weren't able to get a proper nights sleep, due to incredibly load love making all night long from the room above them.
The restaurant manager then pointed out that the room in question was the hotel managers room (his boss)
I can't remember what I responded, but when I think about it now, what the hell was he thinking of?!? And why question me about it and not the hotel manager?
I had the arrogance of youth so of course carried on exactly as before 😂
So what's yours?

I know @Deemarie11 can speak for herself but why do you keep singling out her experience? If she was speaking about men, you wouldn’t @ her and state that she’s the consistent factor and then ask what are all the women reacting too? Why does that matter?

Just because Deemarie has a different experience to you that doesn’t mean she’s the problem or is doing something to cause that. Not sure why you feel as if you need to defend all women when her experience doesn’t impact your life at all….

@ForgetBarbie Do you understand how threads work?one comments on a post that piques there interest. As a woman I am obvs interested in the comment of prefer men,not women. @Deemarie11 is a capable poster she can chose whether or not she wishes to elaborate. I haven’t been rude,I haven’t attacked , I simply asked if she wanted to elaborate. Up to her if she doesn’t or not. Querying a post is legitimate if done appropriately, I wasn’t inappropriate

Wow, this thread makes you go through the whole range of emotions.
A friend and I used to work in the corner shop aged 15/16. Our manager was a male in his late 40s probably. If he wanted to get past you on an aisle he'd put his hands on your waist or hips so that he could get past.

We had a male PE teacher who must have been about 23. He added a friend of mine on MSN as it was at the time and told her he wanted to marry her. I worked at a café aged 15 and one time he just stood outside for 2 hours.

I saw him on a bus around 4 years later, he smiled at me but I didn't exchange a word with him. The next day he sent me a friend request on Facebook, which I declined

We also had an older male teacher ask out a girl in 6th form, at our leavers' ball, 18, but still. This was only in 2009

I had an 18 year old ask for my number when he knew I was either 14 or 15 (in year 10). I was very attracted to him but too nervous to give it to him. This was over 15 years ago. Looking back that was really inappropriate

My abusive ex had just told me that he liked his 'friend' from work who I'd suspected for months, and that he'd definitely be with her if he wasn't with me. I started crying and he decided this would be a good time to try and have sex with me.
I pushed him off, then he tried again. I pushed him off again and he kept trying until I pushed him off hard.

Aged 14 walking through Birmingham city centre with friend and cousin of same age (all female).

group of about 4 Middle Aged business men walk past and one of them pulled my top down exposing my bra/boobs. (It wasn’t low but had a V neck). They all laughed and we just sort of laughed too and ran off.

Also, one time talking home from school aged 13, about 200m from the gate with female friend. Hear someone shout ‘oi girls’ we turned round to some guy waving his d*ck around at us. We actually pointed and laughed! Assume wasn’t the desired outcome.

Never told an adult about either of these though which is terrifying now I have a DD (11).

When I was 15 I went out with a 19 year old for a while. Nobody questioned it or thought it strange or inappropriate. It was a very common occurrence in the 1980s. I often think about this and how it would be perceived today.

I was about 14 or 15 in a big London Park near my home. It was a warm sunny day and I was sitting on the grass halfway down the hill. Two young grown adult men (I would guess about 23-25 yrs old) came over at sat by me striking up a conversation. They had been drinking and they went on to explain they were looking for houses to burglarize and they produced a crowbar out of either a plastic bag or a sports bag. They spent a lot of time talking while I was listening and told me they had robbed a corner shop the day before and had either broken or actually cut off (and I think it was the latter TBH) a couple of the owners fingers. They were laughing and drinking beer while they told me this.

I was acting nonchalant but was getting terrified; but thank God they finally wandered off and as soon as they were safely well out of sight I ran home. In the next couple of days on the TV there were follow up reports on the robbery and attack at the corner store. I was so frightened that I never told a soul what happened. Literally noone, until now.

In a hotel spa this week with DD, entered swimming pool area and two men in 20s in there. Instantly one of them began to stare at DD as she swam and she was getting uncomfortable, she decided to move towards and sit with me. At that the letch started asking where she was from and her name, she blanked him and came and sat with me in the jacuzzi. He moved to the jacuzzi as well and he sat there quite clearly planning his next move. We blanked him. Two more women entered also in their 20s (same as DD) he began to question them and they also blanked him came and sat with DD and myself. We then moved away into a sauna and the girls quickly followed and said he wouldn't leave them alone. I was about to go and speak to spa staff when the girls left for treatments and DD and I were alone again but letch then left. Sick to death of not feeling safe.

My first experience of OLD and I exchanged loads of emails and texts with a man who had me convinced he was some kind of Richard Gere in Pretty Woman character - single because he'd been hurt but just needed the love of a good woman to 'fix' him. Yawn.

We finally decided to meet at a public event and then go on for lunch. As soon as we met, he hugged me and tried to snog me, as though he'd known me all his life. Ick! We got on the train to go and eat lunch and he starts telling me I'm the most beautiful woman ever and he just knows we're meant to be together. He then grabbed my hand but then put it on his crotch and held it there!!

I don't know why I didn't run screaming for the hills but I was quite naive and obsessed with 'not being rude'. Over lunch he pulled out an estate agent listing of a house he was in the process of buying. Apparently it would be 'our' home.

We ended up going for a walk and all the while, his hand was round my waist and occasionally on my bum, followed by him periodically stopping to 'look at the view' and trying to stick his tongue down my throat. It was horrendous!

Even more strangely (I would never, ever do this now), I agreed to see him again some months later and this time I went to see his new house, the one which was apparently going to be 'our' home. It was in quite an isolated location and I realised as soon as I arrived at the station that this was a really, really bad idea.

He started with the pervy jokes the minute I walked through the door and because I'd gone to his house that clearly meant I was 'up for it'. Without going into detail, I was assaulted but I never reported it as I felt for years that I'd 'asked for it.'

Good news is, my bar is immeasurably higher now and I learned a lot about trusting my own instincts but also, if I'm ever uncomfortable in a situation now, politeness goes out the window and I'm gone!

Also, there is no such thing as 'asking for it'.

Maybe when 97% of attackers are women, we’ll take empathy courses.

As long as 97% of men are attackers, we’ll continue to call out men.

The more I read, the more it’s all coming back to me - some ‘major’ incidents I always remember, the others I’d totally forgotten about until now, or minimised over the years, as ‘just one of those things’, or things I’d even laughed about at the time. Now I realise that ALL of these things that happened to me - and others on this thread - are fucking grim.

Where to even begin, but here goes:

• Aged about 14 at secondary school, a group of us girls summon up the courage to tell the Head and several adults that we feel incredibly uncomfortable by sexual comments and behaviour of our art teacher, a guy in his 50’s. Nothing was ever done about it, all brushed to one side. Astoundingly - a year or two later, so I think I was in final year, this teacher said he was doing a special trip to a local art gallery on a Saturday for a select number of children, and it ended up just being me and a boy from my class. We went to the gallery, and the teacher had invited one of his friends, a very good looking guy who must have been early 20’s. I remember feeling really confused and somehow flattered (FFS!) that this young hot guy was hanging out with us. We then all went back to the art teachers house for a bit, where teacher showed us a series of nudes he’d done of the other guy. I went up to the bathroom at one point, and saw that the whole room was decorated with hand drawn scenes of people fucking in loads of different positions, mythical beasts etc. My parents had been quite happy for me to go off on a Saturday afternoon with this guy! Unsurprisingly, he was arrested several years later for having indecent images of children…

• The time I was out with my family for lunch, aged about 13, and Jimmy Savile comes in, comes over to the table and announces that he’d love to take me away to his private island. We all just sort of laughed about it 😡

• the time aged about 20 I was followed by a man dressed up as a woman on my way home from work. They were less than a metre behind me all the way down a deserted street, right behind me as I went into a petrol station hoping they’d just disappear. Was so scared but felt like I couldn’t say anything to the petrol attendant, as nothing had actually happened, but I KNEW this person was dangerous. Managed to run across several roads and onto a train away from them. A day later, we heard on the news that another girl had been murdered by a transvestite on the town moor, less than half a mile from where I’d been followed. This still gives me the shivers, over 25 years later.
• Aged 19 and at college, had a wildly inappropriate ‘relationship’ with one of the tutors from another course, who was 50. We flirted for months - his poor wife also worked at the college - and on the last day before I left, he invited me out for lunch. We then proceeded to have what I thought at the time was an incredibly romantic few months of meeting up to drive to remote spots in his car, he’d shower me with gifts and tell me about the fact his wife no longer had sex with him (that old classic!!), and he paid for us to go stay in a hotel for a day. We were seen by one of my mums friends out in his car one day, and my parents demanded we finish it. He actually called my house in the days afterwards, spoke to my mum on the phone, and cried down the phone to her for about half an hour, saying he was in love with me. I think she was actually consoling him by the end, FFS! Over 25 years later, he still emails me occasionally, the sad twat! He must be about 75 now.

• the time I went into our family bathroom whilst living with my mum, stepdad, brother and a friend of mine, to find the biggest dildo you’ve ever seen - it was also neon Green! - just sitting at the end of the bath. Cue many awkward conversations, before my stepdad confessed it was his, and came into my room to apologise to my friend and I.

• The time my drink was spiked on holiday. Aged about 18, this was in a very old school family hotel, not an 18-30 type of place at all. It was full of families, parents with kids and grandparents, so the kind of place l felt safe. Each night they did dancing and drinks in the ball room, so packed with people, and it was only about 7pm when these local guys came in and started chatting to me and this guy I was with (but wasn’t dating, I’d just met him on the holiday). Local guys buy us both drinks, and that’s the last thing I remember before waking up groggily, face down on a sofa in the hotel lobby, vaguely aware of the local guys doing stuff to me. I was so out of it that I still don’t remember what was actually done to me by these three guys.

• Moved into a new flat when first moved to London, where the guy I was renting with had been

very open that there was a brothel directly upstairs, but there’d never been any trouble. I hadn’t even moved in, when I went to drop off some stuff at about lunchtime mid week, when I happened to be going into the building at the same time as one of the ‘customers’. He went up to the brothel, then 2 min later there was a knock on the door, and it was him, looked me up and down and asked if I was working today.

• The time I was dancing in the middle of a night club, and the guy I’d literally just met and was dancing with shoved his hand up my dress and put his fingers in me, in full view of everyone

• the time I was on a bus in central London with my husband, middle of the day, when a Muslim guy in robes stood directly behind me, and rubbed his erection against me for several minutes. Even my husband who was next to me didn’t realise until I told him afterwards, as no one could see anything because of his robes.

• aged about 18, again on holiday, start chatting to a guy in his 60’s next to the hotel pool. He’s obviously leering over me in my bikini, and tells me he’s a professional photographer and he’s putting together a ‘tasteful’ book of nudes and needs models for it…. which ends up with him saying he needs to actually ‘see the goods’ properly, inviting me up to his and his wife’s hotel room while she’s downstairs, and me actually just agreeing to take my clothes off, while he sat on the bed, leering away. After the holiday, he got my number, and called my house to speak to my parents about the ‘art book’. It never happened in the end, unsurprisingly!

Too many other instances of innapropriate behaviour to mention, but mainly involving older men!

Looking back, my self esteem must have been non existent to do all this stuff. Like many naive young women/teens, I was ridiculously flattered if a guy was paying me any attention 😔

Physical attacks are not the only attacks. Psychological attacks, which you often see women do, also cause a lot of harm. I'm not saying women are worse than men. I know that men can also be extremely cruel. I'm saying that both genders can be cruel.

I think it's very interesting to see women's responses, as it helps me to understand men's responses.

If I ever say to women, that women are very cruel - women will usually get defensive and say "not all women".

It is the same, if I say to men that their gender are cruel, men will instantly get defensive and say not all men. It's human nature to get defensive.

No one will admit to their gender being cruel.

Men carry out vicious attacks, but I was talking so some of my female friends about this yesterday. They said if they had to choose one gender that was worse to them in their lives, and who they felt ruined their lives - they all said women.

Women as a gender definitely enjoy abusing people , having power over them, demeaning them, belittling them. You see it all the time in workplaces.

is it an inherently cruel trait in us? Have we been taught by patriarchy to hate and not value other women? Is it jealousy?

So many things coming back to me ready by this that as others have said, at the time I laughed off or just stayed quiet on as I knew people would mock me for making a fuss over “nothing”
the time aged 15 I was walking through a local park, someone shouted “Oi” behind me and I turned round to see a man in his early 20s flashing at me, before asking me to “come here and suck it” I began to walk off before coming to my senses and running, to which he chased me while laughing with his knob out. I eventually lost him, everyone I told thought this story was hilarious and I agreed at the time.

the time a horrible boy I was seeing and had broken up with (also at around 15) became aggressive any time we saw each other (same group of “friends”) one highlight being the time he pushed me to the ground in the park while standing over me screaming and then spat at me. Nobody spoke up for me or told him he was out of line. it was just accepted that he behaved like that towards me.

the time I foolishly fell asleep at a house party aged about 19 and woke up to find the boy who’s house it was trying to get my boobs out of my top. I leapt up, immediately became aware there was no music or sound of anyone else in the house, and just meekly said “better go now” rather than going mental like I should have done. I stayed quiet as I didn’t think anyone would believe “such a nice guy” would be so creepy. Years later (after which time I had told a friend) we saw him in a local nightclub and my friend drunkenly confronted him, he denied the whole thing and I was so mortified that I just agreed I must have got it all wrong. I didn’t. I still kick myself that I let people think I had basically made it up when I didn’t at all, I was just so embarrassed that I wanted the conversation around it to end.

This guts me , one of the guys in this post drives taxis(wow ) and another is a fireman the third was in military. How can this be . My life hasn’t really moved on .gutted

In college I had a teacher who used to confide in me about his extra marital affairs, sex life and health issues. He used to have a whole bunch of girls he made friends with (though, as far as I’m aware, I was the only one who got those more personal details of his life).

As a young adult I thought he was cool. Now, as a nearly 40 year old, I realise what a horrible human being he is and how he made my life hell.

People still act likes he’s “Mr Cool Teacher”.

I just know him as Mr Inappropriate creep.

This! Exactly this! We were groomed by society!

M

It is the best thing about being older!

Sorry didn't mean to quote the whole message!

exactly...I don't really get the issue even if someone did use them as wank fodder...they don't know what I look like or literally anything about me! They are essentially wanking to a completely made up person in a scenario....how does it effect me at all? Whereas it is good to collate these stories and realise just how common they are....might make someone feel less alone and as if they are to blame in any way.

My mum adored my boyfriend when I was seventeen, probably more than I did! I said to her once that he wanted me to have sex, and I wasn't happy about it. She said quietly "You should have let him, lads expect it......"

Oh surprise, surprise. All the replies I've read so far involve inappropriate male behaviour. How depressingly predictable!

I've posted about this before, but... job interview when I was 20 yrs old where the only item on the (male) interviewer's desk was a boxed chocolate willy.