Can I be fat and attractive at the same time?

[Freespirit12]

Inspired by another thread on here which got me thinking.

Since meeting dh, over the years i have put on four(ish) stones.

This is not ideal from a health point of view I know but on a day to day basis I'm ok with it

When I come across posts where partners are demanding that their OH lose weight in order to find them attractive again it makes me doubt my dh who says he still finds me attractive.

I think to myself " does he REALLY fancy me or is he making do?"

I would love to hear from others who are in a similar position where weight gain is not an issue.

Thanks.

Hi OP 🙋🏼‍♀️

DH and I met 11 years ago, and I was size 14(ish) .. I’m 5ft7 and have broad shoulders so actually carried the weight well and had a lovely figure. Over the next 5 years or so, I put on around 7 stone 😳 and was convinced there was something wrong. Turned out I have PCOS, a symptom of which is weight gain.

DH has never complained about my weight, always saying he finds me attractive .. and his actions back that up, IYKWIM 😜 I really do struggle to take any compliments from him because I feel embarrassed about my size 22 body, and think I look quite disgusting, but DH doesn’t understand why 🤷‍♀️

I’m lucky to have someone who loves me for who I am and finds me attractive because of that, and I guess when our partners tell us such, we should believe them 🥰

Of course you can be big and beautiful 😍

I honestly don't think I'm bringing another person's issue into my relationship. This has been on my mind for a while now. A thread on here just happened to remind me of it.

Yes of course no matter what he says I won't be miraculously cured of self doubt, but I do think that, in an Open honest relationship you should be able to air your hang ups.

@Cinders88 good on you!! It's really heartwarming to read posts like yours and everyone who have partners who love them for who they are.

We can be fat and sexy!! 😉

Pcos does not cause seven stone of weight gain.

@Freespirit12 I definitely agree that women can be fat and sexy (even if I don’t feel it myself .. but that’s my own issue).

I’ve always thought of Dawn French as very attractive, and so does DH! I appreciate she’s lost weight now, but even in the days of Vicar of Dibley, for example, she was gorgeous! She’s got such a pretty face and tons of charisma. You don’t have to have the stereotypical hourglass figure, pert boobs, flat tummy, etc, to be beautiful!

Pcos does not cause seven stone of weight gain.

@BloodAndFire um, ok .. thanks for that.

I'd not be happy if my partner put on four stone tbh. I work hard to stay in shape and am attracted to physically fit physiques. He's be distinctly fat with another four stone.

It depends on the person’s preference surely. I don’t find fat attractive, as in fat rolls, on me or anyone else. That doesn’t mean someone who is a little overweight isn’t pretty / attractive but whether someone finds them attractive or not surely is individual.

Can PCOS cause that much weight gain?? 7 Stone? That fucking sucks. I never knew that.

It affects individuals differently .. it’ll no doubt cause more weight gain in some than others. It typically causes weight around the tummy due to the imbalance in hormones.

It can also cause some facial hair growth, or in others it can cause a full on beard.

I honestly never knew that, thank you for explaining. Never knew about the facial hair either.

My friend has put on 4 stone since getting married. Her DH looks like a model who can't stay out of the gym.

He absolutely worships her. She's bloody gorgeous, and he knows it.

I'm answering a big ol' yes to your AIBU, OP.

This is fair enough.

Plenty of men have fat fetishes. Plenty of men also have granny fetishes, underage girl fetishes, and rape fetishes. I don't think we can objectively define beauty by men's sexual desire.

💛

No.

Using data from a large community-based longitudinal study, we found that women with PCOS had a 0.26 kg higher rate of annual weight gain and a 4.62 kg higher weight gain over 19 years than women without PCOS, even after adjusting for lifestyle factors.”

So women with PCOS gained about 1 lb more per year than women without PCOS. Or about 9 lbs per 19 years.

Seven stone is 98 lbs.

So yes, a woman with PCOS would be expected to gain seven stone more than a woman without PCOS... in 98 years .

It doesn't cause you to gain seven stone - not unless you're comparing weights a century apart.
www.healio.com/news/endocrinology/20220113/women-with-pcos-gain-more-weight-annually-affected-more-by-lifestyle-factors#:~:text=Using%20data%20from%20a%20large,after%20adjusting%20for%20lifestyle%20factors.%E2%80%9D

Oh and also, as well as the link posted above, it's a two-way street. PCOS can make it harder to lose weight. Obesity also contributes to PCOS. So if you're overweight/obese, you are far more likely to develop PCOS.

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6734597/#:~:text=Polycystic%20ovary%20syndrome%20is%20an%20obesity%2Drelated%20condition.,to%20establish%20effective%20weight%2Dloss.

Great. I’m not interested in a debate. Thanks for your kind comments OP.

That's fine, but it's not really on to post total misinformation, or to drag other people down.

There's a newly divorced woman working in my local post office and in her own words she's "forty fat and fabulous" and is getting a lot of attention from men of all ages . She's not quite a Diana Dors lookalike more like a blonde Jo Brand , she looks great but more importantly she just looks confident and sexy so yes op to your question.

I think it's probably worth remembering, in this context, that a significant number of men are 'fat fetishists' and that being found sexually attractive by men is not, in fact, a reason to do (or not do) anything at all.

There are men who get off on women gaining weight until they are immobile and, ultimately, dead. Quite a lot of them.

There are men who will fuck farm animals, corpses, and inanimate objects.

A man getting an erection should not ever be a reason to do anything at all that isn't in your own best interests - and being obese is definitely not in your own best interests.

I think Alison Hammond is one of the most attractive woman on TV at the moment, her skin and hair glow and she is always beautifully dressed.

So yes, I believe fat women can be very attractive

@Cinders88 yes!!! Dawn french is a stunning woman at any weight 😍. She radiates beauty.

There's an actress in the sitcom "This is us". I can't think of her name right now but I find her beautiful. She's got a gorgeous face.

Oh come on you cant seriously find this is us actress beautiful ! Health is beauty anything that looks unhealthy or dirty (i.e bad teeth bad hygiene ) is unattractive
Being obese especially that obese as kate in this is us is not attractive at all