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AIBU?

For shouting at a woman who was nudging a spider with her foot?

171 replies

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:05

So I was in the mall, there was suddenly a commotion, people acting a bit elevated, enough for me to try to see what was going on.

I started walking over to a group of people, acting scared and some squealing. When I realised they were watching a woman from the group nudging and pushing a large Giant House Spider with her trainers on.

When I realised this, knowing how delicate their legs are, I loudly said "No! No, no ,no!" But she didn't hear and continued, so I started forwards and again loudly saying "no no no no!"

I scooped the spider up in my hands and put it in a nearby plant pot full of bamboo.

Looking back at where the group were, the woman was looking at me angrily, saying "I was just checking if it was alive, I wasn't gonna hurt it" pretty sure she swore about me.

Anyway I've been feeling rubbish about it and wanted an outsider's perspective.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?

777 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
73%
You are NOT being unreasonable
27%
thistimelastweek · 16/09/2022 20:09

Was this a particularly quiet day at the mall?

PaddleBoardingMomma · 16/09/2022 20:10

Then did everyone clap?

Keyansier · 16/09/2022 20:10

This reply has been deleted

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OldKingCole · 16/09/2022 20:11

Your heart was in the right place so I’d like to say YANBU - but all of those “No”s would have to be seen to know for sure 😀

either way you did the right thing!

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:11

It did happen. I was in the free soft play area with my kids at the time.

OP posts:
Snowwhite83 · 16/09/2022 20:12

Hi Op,
You are YANBU, I would do the the exact same in the circumstances. Some people just don't have the respect for life as others do, it makes me sad. That woman sounds rather horrid to be torturing a little creature for her own amusement. Well done you!

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 16/09/2022 20:13

No Yanbu

Batshittery · 16/09/2022 20:13

'Torturing the little creature' That's not what the OP said.
No, no, no, no

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:13

You sound unhinged I would have thought you were crazy making all that commotion and sticking your nose in because someone else was trying to shove a spider out the way or kill it, GASP. Are you always this dramatic?

sst1234 · 16/09/2022 20:14

Were you wearing a cape when you did this heroic act?

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:14

OldKingCole · 16/09/2022 20:11

Your heart was in the right place so I’d like to say YANBU - but all of those “No”s would have to be seen to know for sure 😀

either way you did the right thing!

I said them really quickly together, I was panicking and thought the spider was about to ultimately get crushed.

But when she was clearly angry I could see she felt bad for being made to look like she was going to hurt the spider, maybe she felt bad? Which makes me feel bad, and I think all the "no"s came across as rude and OTT. Anyway I just feel bad rather than good for helping spider.

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 16/09/2022 20:14

😱spider lol

Stichintimesavesstapling · 16/09/2022 20:14

This happens to me every time I go out

Kindofcrunchy · 16/09/2022 20:15

Tbf I'd have done the same thing OP and probably would've been ruder to the woman than you were!

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:15

I’d have been inclined to stamp on it as hard as I could just for fun to see your reaction

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:16

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:15

I’d have been inclined to stamp on it as hard as I could just for fun to see your reaction

Would you do the same to a butterfly?

OP posts:
Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:18

@jewishmum

Nar I like butterflies. Hate spiders though, I’ve killed a few in my lifetime. Usually by splatting them against the wall with a trainer, or sucking them up the hoover. Various methods to be honest.

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:19

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:13

You sound unhinged I would have thought you were crazy making all that commotion and sticking your nose in because someone else was trying to shove a spider out the way or kill it, GASP. Are you always this dramatic?

FWIW, it was in a corner and not in their way at all. So no reason to nudge it.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 16/09/2022 20:20

OP - do you treasure cockroaches in your house?

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:20

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:18

@jewishmum

Nar I like butterflies. Hate spiders though, I’ve killed a few in my lifetime. Usually by splatting them against the wall with a trainer, or sucking them up the hoover. Various methods to be honest.

Yes me too. Then I decided to get over my phobia and joined a lot of spider groups to educate myself. Slowly started holding them and now it's like that whole fear was so stupid.

OP posts:
ScarlettSunset · 16/09/2022 20:22

I'd have done the same as you.
Spider wasn't hurting anyone.
It's a living creature and shouldn't be treated badly.

YesitsBess · 16/09/2022 20:22

So if it’s classified as Eratigena atrica, which means millions upon millions of them get eaten by birds, and other spiders each year. Millions more are killed by humans.

You’ve a busy September ahead OP.

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:22

@jewishmum

Good for you, but I’ve not got time for spider groups so I’ll stick with the hoover 👍 .

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:22

StoneofDestiny · 16/09/2022 20:20

OP - do you treasure cockroaches in your house?

Cockroaches do damage right? I'm in the UK so never seen one. But spiders are quite beneficial, they eat mites and biting crawlies that live in your house. Without doing any damage to house.

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 16/09/2022 20:24

M'k then! Confused

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