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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For shouting at a woman who was nudging a spider with her foot?

171 replies

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:05

So I was in the mall, there was suddenly a commotion, people acting a bit elevated, enough for me to try to see what was going on.

I started walking over to a group of people, acting scared and some squealing. When I realised they were watching a woman from the group nudging and pushing a large Giant House Spider with her trainers on.

When I realised this, knowing how delicate their legs are, I loudly said "No! No, no ,no!" But she didn't hear and continued, so I started forwards and again loudly saying "no no no no!"

I scooped the spider up in my hands and put it in a nearby plant pot full of bamboo.

Looking back at where the group were, the woman was looking at me angrily, saying "I was just checking if it was alive, I wasn't gonna hurt it" pretty sure she swore about me.

Anyway I've been feeling rubbish about it and wanted an outsider's perspective.

OP posts:
EbbyEbs · 17/09/2022 06:43

OP shouted “no no no no!!” TWICE 😂😂

RosetteNebula · 17/09/2022 06:46

YANBU. I'm always getting into arguments with the ty people who think it's acceptable to let their kids harass pigeons.

Naimee87 · 17/09/2022 06:57

You picked it up with your bare hands and rescued it! OMG where do you live and can you come rescue me from them! @Dalaidramailama I hate them so if they are inside they don’t last at all long, sadly! Splattered somewhere or if i’m lucky my kind neighbour comes and will scoop it up. So Well Done you! 😌 The girl sounds awful like she was trying to show off but inside was kind of petrified. If it would have run at her i bet she would have run off sharpish.

@jewishmum What do these spider groups involve? my phobia is extremely bad… so curious how they start of with beginners. I struggle to even look at photos, forget watching them on TV or going anywhere even remotely close to them. Can’t even get the hoover or anything. I’m just frozen and want to cry.

EbbyEbs · 17/09/2022 07:25

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!! No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no!!!!!!!!!

KimberleyClark · 17/09/2022 07:40

I shouted “don’t do that!” at a little boy who was harassing ducks at the park once. He stopped doing it.

ScarlettSunset · 17/09/2022 07:49

Sunnyqueen · 16/09/2022 22:05

I think if you 'got over' your phobia by joining some groups and then deciding to hold them you actually didnt have much of a phobia of them in the first place. I cannot even look at them let alone bare to touch one with my fingernail. I spent 3 months last year seeing them out of the corners of my eyes or running across the floor every 5 minutes without fail. It is a real problem.
Anyway yes you probably did come across a bit of a loon tbh.

It is definitely possible to get over a phobia of spiders. I did it by educating myself about them (groups didn't exist then so I had to use books). In my case, it helped that my father wasn't scared of them and encouraged me with this though. Without his support, I doubt I'd have even been able to look at a picture of one.

I love spiders now, and am a member of groups now myself these days, in order to continue learning more and to help others to overcome their fears, and people say it really does help when they learn and understand. Some people will never get to the picking them up with bare hands stage, but can learn to at least live alongside them without killing them. Support and encouragement can do so much.

TheOnlyBeeInYourBonnet · 17/09/2022 07:58

You should come and visit me OP you'd have a great time cuddling all the Redbacks in my garden.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 17/09/2022 08:33

jewishmum · 16/09/2022 20:20

Yes me too. Then I decided to get over my phobia and joined a lot of spider groups to educate myself. Slowly started holding them and now it's like that whole fear was so stupid.

Show quote history

Do they serve Garibaldi biscuits at these Spider Groups?

WhatInFreshHell · 17/09/2022 08:34

Stichintimesavesstapling · 16/09/2022 20:14

This happens to me every time I go out

GrinGrinGrinGrin

NorthernLights5 · 17/09/2022 08:54

certainly this time of year, the more you disturb and evict and kill spiders, the more you'll see. could anyone explain why please? I can't google it as I don't want to come across any photos.

ThickCutSteakChips · 17/09/2022 09:06

Spider Groups???

<faints>

WhiskerPatrol · 17/09/2022 09:13

YANBU OP, you sound like a nice kind person. I would probably have not shouted NO but just said "excuse me! I'll put it in the plant" and grabbed it that way.

Jourdain11 · 17/09/2022 09:27

Wow, it must have been like Margaret Thatcher pitched up at the shopping mall!

Dalaidramailama · 17/09/2022 09:37

@NeckFanInSoftPlay

Thanks for the tip. I clearly need to buy some ant powder for after I’ve sucked them up in the hoover.

Anamechangeisasgoodasarest · 17/09/2022 09:39

KimberleyClark · 17/09/2022 07:40

I shouted “don’t do that!” at a little boy who was harassing ducks at the park once. He stopped doing it.

Was he called George?

shows age

mydogisthebest · 17/09/2022 11:25

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:15

I’d have been inclined to stamp on it as hard as I could just for fun to see your reaction

My what a nice person you are. I am terrified of spiders but still would not kill one.

No normal person would kill a spider for fun

economicervix · 17/09/2022 11:57

This is all so weird.
Who actually pays attention to what other people are doing in public? Shouting ‘no no no no’ at someone standing near a spider is giving me secondhand embarrassment.
And then to type out a thread about it?

LAWinterofOurDiscountTents · 17/09/2022 12:08

WiddlinDiddlin · 16/09/2022 20:36

I have done the same OP.

I don't understand why some people need to demonstrate their utter cuntishness by declaring that they'd stamp on a spider on purpose to upset you. Does it make you feel really special to advertise that you're a nasty fucker?

I would probably punch someone who did that - I did the last time it happened (granted, we were 4 years old, it hasn't happened since but my reaction to that post is so strong, I probably still would.)

I get it when people are scared and can't move away from a spider in their own home, but out and about.. just get up and walk away fgs.

I rescued a tiny mouse in a local garden centre a few years back, several people were making a fuss and one huge arsehole of a bloke was trying to stamp on it, I said (probably fairly loudly) 'Hey, stop, I'll catch it' and he carried on so I rammed him in the shins with my wheelchair to stop him which he... didn't like very much. (Not my best moment but I didn't really think, just drove at him as he raised his foot again).

Took it to the on-site vets to be euthanised as it was pretty mullered by that point but clearly still alive and suffering.

You're going to punch people in the face but they are the cunty nasty fuckers?

Think you've confused yourself a bit there.

CarmenBizet · 17/09/2022 12:40

Dalaidramailama · 16/09/2022 20:18

@jewishmum

Nar I like butterflies. Hate spiders though, I’ve killed a few in my lifetime. Usually by splatting them against the wall with a trainer, or sucking them up the hoover. Various methods to be honest.

Found the edgelord. Careful you don’t cut yourself.

MrsSkylerWhite · 17/09/2022 12:43

CoatyWonder · Today 01:48
I find people who kill spiders quite scary“

I don’t. Find them nasty, pathetic, small individuals who are often cowardly with other people.

PretzelLady · 17/09/2022 12:45

"Don't worry, I'll get it"

Whoever suggested this is right. You'll know, know, know, know, know for next time 😁

YellowTreeHouse · 17/09/2022 12:47

I would probably punch someone who did that

@WiddlinDiddlin Ha ha, no you wouldn’t 😂😂

angieloumc · 17/09/2022 12:52

SmallPrawnEnergy · 16/09/2022 20:51

I never understand why people throw the “birds eat them” argument into why we shouldn’t deliberately and pointlessly kill animals. It just makes you look a bit… thick.

The insect population is very important to human’s survival, they’re on a sharp decline and we could be in for trouble if that happens.

I do understand irrational phobias but there are catchers that keep them alive and at an arm distance just like a hoover, why not try? I’m terrified of birds I wouldn’t kill one just for getting too close and imagine people would be outraged if someone did… so why is it ok for spiders?

Spiders aren't insects.

DontTouchThat · 17/09/2022 15:35

NeckFanInSoftPlay · 17/09/2022 04:07

You know they can & often do, crawl out of hoovers? Best thing to do is hoover up some ant powder immediately after. That kills spiders

Show quote history

😮 I make sure the hoover is left running for a few minutes after to guard against this but who knows. Tbh it’s usually dp doing the hoovering I stand far back, terrified. Dp will put them outside if not too big and scary tbh but can’t manage the huge ones. I read they often die once put outside anyway 🤔

DonnaBanana · 17/09/2022 19:36

Yet another thread proving how different the MN world is. Lots of totally normal well adjusted people are swatting flies, splatting spiders and even putting down slug pellets or rat poison and the world carries on just fine. Meanwhile here it’s Save the Spiders week.