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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friends a thief ...aibu to be disgusted?

120 replies

neepop · 27/08/2022 14:53

Friend rang me this morning all bright and cheerful.
Told me she placed a order with a online retailer (huge company )
They delivered her order late after paying for next day.
The box arrived all damaged but luckily everything was there.
She contacted customer services and said one item (£20 make up item ) was missing (it wasn't)
So they've refunded her
Aibu to be a bit disgusted ?
Her response was "I'm struggling with money at the minute "

OP posts:
Isgooglebroken · 27/08/2022 14:55

YANBU.
People like her put the prices up for everyone as the retailers still want to cover costs and make a profit.
She’s a liar and a thief!

boomoohoo · 27/08/2022 14:57

You feel how you feel, so yanbu. But I think things are really hard for people atm, and what's she's done is so small compared to how disgusting our government are behaving. If you want to look at who the actual crooks are, I'd look there.

Maybe think about what about it makes you feel so disgusted? That's a very strong word for a v minor thing

CareBear50 · 27/08/2022 14:58

She is out of order and what she has done would not sit right with me either

Aquamarine1029 · 27/08/2022 14:58

boomoohoo · 27/08/2022 14:57

You feel how you feel, so yanbu. But I think things are really hard for people atm, and what's she's done is so small compared to how disgusting our government are behaving. If you want to look at who the actual crooks are, I'd look there.

Maybe think about what about it makes you feel so disgusted? That's a very strong word for a v minor thing

Stealing is not a minor thing.

Rinatinabina · 27/08/2022 15:00

YANBU, stealing and lying are not good habits in anyone.

Randomness12 · 27/08/2022 15:01

I think there will be a lot more of this sort of behaviour happening over the coming months sadly.

what she has done is theft, but that’s on her not you.

im not sure id be disgusted tbh

GroggyLegs · 27/08/2022 15:04

boomoohoo · 27/08/2022 14:57

You feel how you feel, so yanbu. But I think things are really hard for people atm, and what's she's done is so small compared to how disgusting our government are behaving. If you want to look at who the actual crooks are, I'd look there.

Maybe think about what about it makes you feel so disgusted? That's a very strong word for a v minor thing

It was a £20 item of makeup.
That's not someone struggling to make ends meet, that's a grifter.

Viviennemary · 27/08/2022 15:04

I couldnt be friendswith such a dishonest cheat.

boomoohoo · 27/08/2022 15:05

Well, I would say that context is important. Stealing from a person, with the consequence of there being a direct victim? Worse than stealing from a big retailer, with no direct victim, in my opinion.

We live in a very unequal world where not everybody has the same access to resources, and I think that matters in passing moral judgement.

It's like those footballers who were caught stealing handbags years ago. That disgusted me. Direct victims, and wealthy thieves.

boomoohoo · 27/08/2022 15:10

@GroggyLegs I don't know what a grifter is!

Do people have to have starving children before deemed acceptable to steal food? Not in my opinion.

I'm not saying it's OK and everyone should do it - but I don't think it's a big deal. You know how much profit Company's make? The mark up they put on, whilst paying staff minimum wage with poor working conditions. That I get disgusted about

Kanaloa · 27/08/2022 15:10

If it had been food and she was struggling for money maybe I’d overlook it. Makeup items at £20? If you can’t afford them buy them later/save up, don’t just lie to get them for free. I wouldn’t like it - I think it speaks to your attitude, your honesty. Just because politicians are big time crooks doesn’t mean we can all be small time crooks.

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 27/08/2022 15:10

I think it is horribly common. I ordered an item that didn't arrive. I contacted the retailer and they sent a replacement.
The original item arrived a few weeks later - so i had two items . I called the retailer to arrange a return and they were shocked. Apparently it is rare for someone to do this. I couldn't keep it as I hadn't paid for it.

transformandriseup · 27/08/2022 15:11

That's not on.

antelopevalley · 27/08/2022 15:18

The corruption by already rich people in government has been so off the scale that I can not summon up any energy to care about the £20 make up bag.

ChimChimeny · 27/08/2022 15:23

If it had been food and she was struggling for money maybe I’d overlook it. Makeup items at £20?

Exactly, it's not like she stole a loaf of bread to feed her kids

GlueyMooey · 27/08/2022 15:26

On another thread an OP has been mistakenly credited some money that isn't hers - nearly all the replies are telling her to keep it!

It's funny how different threads get different responses.

I couldn't be friends with someone who stole like that. It's scummy behaviour

chillipenguin · 27/08/2022 15:27

MadameCholetsDirtySecret · 27/08/2022 15:10

I think it is horribly common. I ordered an item that didn't arrive. I contacted the retailer and they sent a replacement.
The original item arrived a few weeks later - so i had two items . I called the retailer to arrange a return and they were shocked. Apparently it is rare for someone to do this. I couldn't keep it as I hadn't paid for it.

I had exactly the same. They were so surprised I'd rang!

Anyway OP your friend is an arse and it's just going to cause more problems for everyone else

tiggergoesbounce · 27/08/2022 15:39

There is a part of me who thinks it would depend on the company to how "disgusted" i was.

If its amazon or the likes, treat employees like shit whilst not paying proper tax...meh !! Just taking some tax off them. If its a decent tax paying, nice local company i would probably think its a bit off.

But im not sure where my logic stops, obviously legally its theft, but morally i appear to have factors that let them off BlushBlush

girlfriend44 · 27/08/2022 15:41

Just ask her how she would like it if someone stole from her simple

dottypotter · 27/08/2022 15:48

Find out the company name and grass her up. This will ensure it dosent get worse.

When things go unchecked people get worse it could be some thing bigger next time.
Being a bit short of money is no excuse
Would she think it OK if she was running a business and people did that?

TwoMonthsOff · 27/08/2022 15:49

Retailer might need to rethink their packaging though .

Deliverooaddict · 27/08/2022 15:58

I wouldn’t care personally

jetadore · 27/08/2022 16:17

Don’t hate the player hate the game.

zen1 · 27/08/2022 16:21

I don’t get why she needed to tell you about it.

Keyansier · 27/08/2022 16:22

It wouldn't be an issue to me tbh. I have done similar also. I don't see it as stealing if you present an opportunity and the company agrees to it - they don't have to say "yes" to a refund just because you ask. But if they do, then they agree to it.