Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

[BlahBl4h]

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

Someone above mentioned twins playing with each other. I've 2.5 year old twins, and can't leave them alone for a second, since they always end up biting each other! I read them the book "Teeth are not for Biting" every day, but they gleefully respond "no mummy, teeth yes for biting!" :)

On the other hand, today they told each other "I lub you" for the first time, along with a big hug.

Reading the above, I'm dreading the teenage years - no kid-free evenings, not knowing where they are at all times, etc!

Having toddler twins is challenging, but so easy sometimes. Eg last week I was off work. One day we drive to a new play-park 5 minutes away and had a picnic. They jumped up and down with excitement, saying "Holidays!!! Hip hip hurray!" :)

@SkirridHill blah hah haaaa - surely threadworms are worse?!🤢😱

They’re so fucking untidy. Not just at dinner time, spills drink, drops peas everywhere, smears it over their face, the fact that they never put anything back and even asking them to tidy they’ll argue with you, throw a strip, Miss the box, not put it back in the right place. Gah!!! 😫

ryans effin world and how the mothers shrillness just pierces through you.

You stand in the supermarket rocking the shopping trolley eleven you don’t have a baby with you

Even… not eleven 🙄

OvertiredandConfused
DH and I have never quite recovered from the vicious argument because DS was looking out of DD’s window in the car. Both were strapped in car seats and not (quite) able to touch each other but, apparently, DS was looking the wrong way. They are 19 and 21 now and it’s family folklore.

This is so funny! It genuinely made me laugh! My hairdresser and I were sharing stories of our children bickering earlier. It sets my teeth on edge!

I agree with another poster about dummies. Worst thing I ever did.

The lack of sleep and alone time is something I wish I had been pre-warned about. I’ve lost the ability to just “be” and do nothing (and do everything). Sometimes I dream of the things that I’ll be able to do when they’ve left home!

Your pelvic muscles may never go back to how strong they once were

A friend with older children said they go to bed later and later and then comes the time where you go to bed first!

No longer being able to have a bath or wee in peace! My bathroom has locks however they open them with a knife! And when I'm in the bath they get all their toys and splash them in with me driving cars up my legs and arms.
For the pp my twins are 5 and still constantly fight!!

Your twins sound adorable

Never play vets with their soft toys and stick actual plasters on the fur. Because it's really not fun at 4.30am when they wake screeching that they want the plaster off, right now, and that fucker is stuck fast.

And having two kids with very different personalities and feeling I'm always letting the "easy" one down. ☹️

Oh god this... and now mine has got wise to the fact that I'm not actually looking and whines "mummy, REALLY look this time".

That sibling rivalry is soul-destroying.

I'm so fucking over the drama.

Hold my beer

Fucking threadworms 🤮 yes I had to look with an iPhone torch and yes I wanted to burn the house down

My favourite sibling argument was about where an imaginary creature was sitting in the back of the car. One of them imagined it was sitting in the middle and the other didn't want it sitting there and started crying. I'm trying to drive and thinking ffs you are arguing about something that doesn't exist!!
This kind of thing should be included in driving tests

That one day you'll find yourself saying, out loud, 'come here while I smell your bottom' to a fast-disappearing, spirited toddler showing every outward sign of having just filled her nappy.

Then realising you're in a room full of other people, who are looking at you with ... interest. FML.

the person who said terrible twos to me fucking lied.

feral fours. My bloody 4 year old is like Cruella De vil and the sopranos rolled into one.

I’ve asked to her to do something and she has actually looked at me, and then actually said “hmm let me think. No”

on one hand I’ve been utterly gobsmacked at what a little shit she can be - but on the other secretly quite proud of how bad ass she can be and have even thought to myself “you’ll go far kiddo” - then she tries to carry on scootering in the house and generally being a dickhead and I come back to earth fairly quickly.

the non stop screaming and screeching from both of them. Shut up!!!!!!

Girls turn into teenagers at least two years before they turn 13, maybe even three years before.

You will never not worry. There is literally always something to worry about.

Corollary 1:

Don't have a second child unless you are happy to go through a period in your life where your first child clings to your leg when you are on the toilet because they are feeling insecure since they have had a little sibling while said little sibling eats weird stuff from the bathroom floor.

(Please let it be just a finite period and please let it end soon. Please!!)

That it is one of the most relentlessly boring things you will ever do, especially when they are small. Thank fuck they’re cute.

that teenagers in the other hand are amazingly good fun.

That you thought you spent a fortune on them when they were little...then in the teenage years it ramps up to an absolutely ridiculous level.
That you will never ever stop worrying about them until you die.
That you won't them to pass their test and drive their own car...whilst also not wanting them to drive a car with all the nutters on the road.
That they can be the most annoying person ever but you'd lay your life down for them in an instant.
And that they always do ONE thing a day that makes your heart burst with love ❤️

😂 this!!!!

Not sure this is the best thread to be reading when I’m 35 weeks pregnant! Still, at least I know what to expect… 😫