Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

[BlahBl4h]

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

No one can ever make you understand how hard it is. Not just physically, but emotionally, mentally, financially....

That you thought terrible 2s and 3s were bad, it's absolutely nothing for what's to come from 10 years onwards, gradually ramping up and up and up.

Love mine dearly, would throw myself in front of a train for, but fuck me is it hard.

That you will never again in your entire life know peace. From moment your child first draws breath you will worry about him/ her.for the rest of your life, even once they are grown up.. Their health, Their safety, their happiness, their education, their financies, and then their partners and them and then their children and them.
There is always something 🤦‍♀️

You will still find yourself saying things , that you would only say to a child, even when they aren't with you. Not so bad if alone in the car ' look a tractor/train/plane' . Not so good when walking the dog with another adult ' Oh that looks like a good stick '.

Living with teenagers is like having a rodent infestation, they make weird noises in the night and eat everything !

When potty training, they will always need a wee when you sit down in McDonald's with your breakfast and you're the only adult with 2 kids so you have to hope your food will still be there.
Then they will need it again as you've just done up the second seatbelt to go home.

They will also both need to do a poo in Specsavers halfway through your eye test.

Mine are 2 and 4 and currently have what I call 'trigger bladder syndrome' where if one needs the loo, the other does too. Even if they literally just got off it.

The PSA 'mummy I need to do a big sloppy poo' when you're in Waterstones.

This 😬

I love this thread. 🤣🤣🤣

Mine are all adults, 1 moved out, 1 at uni, 1 at home. It's still the same. They are just oversized toddlers. Eat for England, create mountains of washing, ask for endless lifts and bleed you dry financially, emotionally and mentally. God love em

This. Came here to say this. It's exhausting. And you can also be doing milk feeds in addition and they'll want 6000 snacks daily.

I give in. Have the packet of biscuits. Eat the whole thing. Just stop asking for more food.

Unbroken, untroubled sleep is a decadent luxury you will never experience ever again. Its up there on the wish list, just above the lottery win.

You will feel irrationally guilty about everything constantly. Spend ten hours trawling every shop you can think of, trying to find a stuffed giraffe because its on the Christmas wish list, only to discover said child wanted an actual, live giraffe? Get in the shit parent bin.

Never, ever, EVER assume because they have gone quiet, everything is OK. This is an emergency situation. If you do not investigate IMMEDIATELY, there will be an incident of epic, cataclysmic proportions. Having fell foul of this rule in the past myself, I have enjoyed wax blocking my bathroom sink, the dog painted in tomato ketchup, eggs and SMA baby milk, a knock at the door from across the road because my child was plastered to the window naked and a child stuck on top of a wardrobe.

Despite all this, they become your whole world. The love you feel towards them is overwhelming.

That you actively put them to bed for the first so many years, then go through the sending them to bed for another x amount of years, only for them to turn 18 and your back to gently encouraging them them to go to bed, and shouting at them to just go to bed, because they are now drunk and annoying you with their inane drunken musings....

Oh and the youngest (4) wants hair like Cinderella, but doesn't yet know how to sit still long enough without turning her hair to look at what the dog/siblings/dad is doing 🙄🤣

DH and I were completely focused on a boring task (choosing which photos to frame) when we suddenly realised we hadn’t heard a thing from the one year old or the two year old for 10 minutes. We ran to the bedroom to find both children completely covered in sudocrem, busily “painting” the rest of the nursery.

Turns out nappy cream is designed to not be easily removed, from skin or walls.

Silence is never a good thing.

That being a parent is a lifetime commitment and your life will never again be fully your own. So many of your decisions about your own life (such as the location of where you live, whether or not to move house, how you spend your time and your money) will by necessity take into account the impact those decisions might have on your children.

Clearing up poo/sick/any body fluid no longer makes you gag
You start to lick dummies & stuff clean and are happy it's good enough
Serving anything on toast counts as a nutritional meal

The self delusion that it can't get any worse than trying to learn parenting 'on the job' with the most precious, helpless, needy, all-consuming living thing ever, whilst completely sleep deprived and hormonal and, for most of the time, isolated.

And then just when you start getting stints of 4 hrs of uninterrupted sleep, your brain starts to function more normally and you realise that the niggly thought that started rolling round your brain from about 3 months after the birth of precious firstborn should be headed -

'SAVOUR EVERY SECOND OF THIS STAGE - it only gets harder and more exhausting from here. The first 3 years are a "conditioning period' to prepare you for the real job, the proper full on 24/7 hard work to come for the next 18yrs (at least).'

Believe that shit. Take note. It's in our DNA, passed from mother to daughter. Imprinted. Listen to those invading scary messages. The same way it's in our DNA not to tell new parents to be most of the awful scary shit because 1 if we did, it would lead to the end of the human species, 2 none of that awful scary shit matters because the all consuming love and obsession with your children makes everything else completely irrelevant. A price well worth paying and clearly evident because we keep doing it!

That actually, if a child refuses to do something, there is not much you can do about it....and Social Services couldn't do much about it either 🤭

Does it matter to you toddler that they have already had their own ice-cream, no. You have one. Why should mamma get to enjoy the chocolate bit we the end too 🤣 it is far more enjoyable eating said ice-cream when they're at nursery!

I remember well the 'muuummm, his leg is touching my bit of the seat' arguments in the car - I actually bought a Citroen Picasso when my boys were small mainly because it had 3 clearly separate seats in the back. Also had the 'he's looking out of my window' arguments.

I now have a teenage dd. I'm finding that other parents slack approach to parenting is having a big effect on my often stroppy teen. I hear 'susies mum said yes, why can't you/all my friends are allowed to do X'
And how quickly they go from being affectionate to 'I hate you' if you say no to what they want. And how they don't understand that everything you say is motivated by trying to keep them safe. It's good that they don't know all the dangers out there but god it's hard as a parent to balance that with still allowing them freedom to grow up!

Don’t believe what they say about their friends’ parents. Most of it is made up to get what they want from you. You’d be horrified to hear what she says about you to her friends as well and their parents will hear it and probably think you are a slack parent.

Possibly, but so many of her friends have complete freedom to roam and no set home times!

That doesn’t mean they are slack. They have a different opinion to you as to what is acceptable.
I give my daughters more freedom than their friends’ parents. I don’t judge them for being overly precious. I accept we all do things differently.
take every you hear with a large pinch of salt.

How they all have completely different personalities.
And you think you it sussed and another one comes along and blows it out of the water.

DS 1 was quiet
Ds2 was the one that power napped and had no fear.
Ds3 is the messy one
Ds 4 is the count the chips on your plate type.
Ds5 is the really smart one who doesnt forget anything.Even a small comment made 10 years ago gets wheeled out,

Definitely that a teenager will eat more in one sitting than 5 adults. Also that on those rare times you go out on your own & someone else's kid shouts mum/mummy you will automatically answer them

That as amazing as it is to hear your precious baby call you mama and mummy etc once they are older you almost dread the word “mum!” As it gets bellowed every 2 minutes for everything. Even if their dad is stood next to them.

@Hopefullysoon2022 such different personalities! If DC1 was like DC2 as a toddler I probably wouldn’t have thought I could handle a second child 😂

When my daughter was small she didn't watch loads of films over and over. She had some VHS Disney videos but one of her favourite shows was Top of the Pops. If we had the tv ourselves we didn't allow our child what to watch and she didn't take a lot of notice of it as was usually playing with toys. Obviously this was some time ago and kids definitely seem to get far more screen time now with TV and tablets. Although tablets didn't exist then