Stupid shit people forgot to mention about parenting

[BlahBl4h]

Mine at the moment is just how many times you can be expected to watch the same fucking movie over and over and over and over.

I want to peel my eyes off.

Anyone?

[MrsJamieFraser22]

Love and agree with so many of these.

Dont think anyone has mentioned the horror that is a fun family trip to the swimming pool which will involve 50% of your time adjusting goggles, 25% freezing your ass off in the manky toilets as the dcs who were adamant they didn’t need to go to the toilet suddenly do the minute you’re soaking wet & 25% listening to mum mum watch me do this. I think it’s time swimming pool cafes were licensed to make the whole ordeal bearable 😁

[Tiredalwaystired]

@BinBandit

That despite it being chopped and then blended, your child can still pick through a pasta sauce and remove any bits of basil and stick them to the side of the bowl.

👏👏👏

[Simonjt]

You’ll never poo again without an audience. On a similar theme you’ll be wiping more than your own arse for a long time. Third poo based one, when you have original wood floors no one tells you that one day you’ll be using a knife to clean human shit from the cracks after walking through said shit while following the smell to hunt down said shit.

Having a child standing on your actual face in bed is just one of those things, as is getting kicked in the face in the middle of the night.

When you take a baby on holiday to a place five hours behind they will stay on UK time for 13 days, on day 14 they will magically start following holiday time, so when you get home you’ll have a lovely restful time while you get them back on UK time. Oh they’ll also do a huge poo just as you start taxiing so you can’t change them for a good 20/30 minutes.

Your clothes up to about knee height are a portable hanky.

[awwbiscuits]

That they'll say 'mummy..' even if they've NOT EVEN THOUGHT OF WHAT TO SAY YET.

[AdFundum]

@PeapodBurgundy

That not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Some days you only love them because you're their mother and you have to. That most of the time there's fuck all joy (or even basic levels of satisfaction) in parenting. It's relentless, and no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever be good enough for anyone again. Ever.

So much that.

[Jeffica]

Once my DD learnt to say Mummy and Daddy it was over, 572 times OH counted in one day, and it was only 2 o clock 😂 must have been going insane to even count!

[bakewellbride]

Trying to get my four year old to bloody eat. He wants to have a few bites then no longer be at the table. Every. Fucking. Time.

The picking him up and putting him back, the reward charts that don't work, the encouraging, the telling off, the involving him in the food preparation and all the other stuff I 'should be doing', the fun meals that remain uneaten (tonight it was homemade pizza that he helped make).

It's exhausting and frustrating beyond belief! I kind of thought it would be a bit like this sometimes before I had kids, but this bad and this often? I had no idea!

[LadyWhistledownsPen]

MUmmy, mummy,mummy,mummeeeeee! Over and over all day. And the whinging, dear god the whinging

[notbloodylikely]

That they’ll say ‘Mum?’, wait for you to say yes, THEN ask the question, so you have to answer two questions for every one request.

That they won’t listen if you tell them something, even if it’s an answer to their question, but a sibling will answer and say ‘Where are we going at 3pm? I don’t want to go out,’ and you’ll say ‘I was talking to DC1’ and DC3 will say ‘but WHERE ARE WE GOING?’ and you’ll say ‘Nowhere’ and DC2 will arrive and say ‘What’s at 3pm?’ and DC1 will say ‘MUM?’, wait for you to say yes and say ‘What time?’ and you will say ‘vodka’ and cry.

[Youdoyoutoday]

Here's another...

Listening to children talk....

My DS has just described the sandcastle he built yesterday to my dad, literally grain by grain details!! My ears are bleeding!!!

[Changechangychange]

@tulippa

Once they start primary school you will have to make a fancy dress outfit every half term.

Oh christ yes, this. Christmas play outfit, costumes for class assemblies and plays, World Book Day costume, carnival costume, plus dress head to toe in whatever random colour they’ve decided this week for charity.

And they never mention it until the Friday beforehand, meaning you have to sprint to H&M/the charity shop on Saturday morning.

[PeapodBurgundy]

That not everyone is cut out to be a parent. Some days you only love them because you're their mother and you have to. That most of the time there's fuck all joy (or even basic levels of satisfaction) in parenting. It's relentless, and no matter how hard you try, nothing will ever be good enough for anyone again. Ever.

[Imabadmummy]

@Eloradannin2nd

Kevin the teenager was factual.
A 4 year age gap is rubbish. Just as one emerges from being a stroppy teen, Bam! There goes their sibling!!
The first time you wake up to your child standing next to your bed staring at you is the scariest experience. I dare anyone not to shout!!

Wake up with a child stood beside you bed staring at you.....so glad it isn't just me.
My youngest has night terrors & sleepwalks. Honestly the day I woke up to him stood beside me just staring scared the life out of me.
He also got sad when I made him go back to bed as said he just wanted to watch me sleeping....creepy kids 🤣

[tulippa]

Once they start primary school you will have to make a fancy dress outfit every half term.

[georgarina]

The constant school Whatsapp alerts to buy Nix/Ovex

Being used as a human climbing frame

Being asked 'why?' after the most concrete statements imaginable. ('It'll take five minutes the get to the shop' 'Why?' 'Because it's five minutes away.' 'Why?')

Being told 'I'm hungry,' but every possible food/meal in the house being rejected

CONSTANT spills/bangs/messes because 'I told you to be careful'

[Rottweilermummy]

You think babies are hard work! sleep ( if you're lucky) awake, cry, feed , change nappy repeat , seriously that's the easy bit!! once they start moving, talking, wanting everything, that's the fun bit lol and then the teenage years going out on their own etc it's a lifetime commitment you never stop worrying, but children are a gift and the rewards generally are worth all the hassle. P.s Do Not pander to your child's wishes with food, they all go through a fussy stage but once you start cooking separate meals for them they will be destined to a life of chicken nuggets, I know of so many children and adults that live on rubbish because they were allowed to eat what they wanted , they eat anything as babies , they will eventually eat if they are hungry it is a constant battle I know but they will appreciate in the long run

[Dozydinks]

How you will love them unconditionally no matter what they get up to, and how you will worry about them from the moment they are born until the day you die - never stop worrying. 🤗

[ImAvingOops]

@BigButtons I do take with a pinch of salt what she says about parents I don't know. But many I do know. When my dd is on FaceTime to a 14 year old drunk friend or said friends are out really late even on school nights, I am going to judge those parents as slack. But it still comes back to me from dd how terrible I am because I don't let her do what X's mum allows.
But yes, I also accept that other parents will be judging me - I used to let my now adult kids play PlayStation games when they were younger than the age rating. That was practically a hanging offence back in the day on MN.

[labazslovesliving]

you end up being something akin to a United Nations Amadassor whether it's breaking up siblings fighting over things like toys seats dogs etc but far worse is the constant involvement of friends.
one minute x is their bestie they have the best house/parents/toys etc but then things turn and x is the nastiest rudest most horrible person ever. you get embroiled in petty arguments about them floods of tears and statements saying they will never speak to them again. at worse the other mum gets involved.
Then the next day surprise surprise they are back to being besties again! it's relentless

[Mandyjack]

@ImAvingOops

Possibly, but so many of her friends have complete freedom to roam and no set home times!

In my experience what your child tells you their friends can do and reality is not always the same

[Mandyjack]

When my daughter was small she didn't watch loads of films over and over. She had some VHS Disney videos but one of her favourite shows was Top of the Pops. If we had the tv ourselves we didn't allow our child what to watch and she didn't take a lot of notice of it as was usually playing with toys. Obviously this was some time ago and kids definitely seem to get far more screen time now with TV and tablets. Although tablets didn't exist then

[DanceItOut]

@Hopefullysoon2022 such different personalities! If DC1 was like DC2 as a toddler I probably wouldn’t have thought I could handle a second child 😂

[DanceItOut]

That as amazing as it is to hear your precious baby call you mama and mummy etc once they are older you almost dread the word “mum!” As it gets bellowed every 2 minutes for everything. Even if their dad is stood next to them.

[Jay77777uuu]

Definitely that a teenager will eat more in one sitting than 5 adults. Also that on those rare times you go out on your own & someone else's kid shouts mum/mummy you will automatically answer them

[Hopefullysoon2022]

How they all have completely different personalities.
And you think you it sussed and another one comes along and blows it out of the water.

DS 1 was quiet
Ds2 was the one that power napped and had no fear.
Ds3 is the messy one
Ds 4 is the count the chips on your plate type.
Ds5 is the really smart one who doesnt forget anything.Even a small comment made 10 years ago gets wheeled out,