You don’t want to hear my Dd splashing around, I don’t want to hear you shagging all day

[Sitbackandunwind]

My neighbours

Errr ok?

That's the spirit!

They live at the back of us. Dd, 4, has been in the garden in the big paddling pool a lot recently (it’s summer)
Guy from over the back keeps coming out for a cigarette on his balcony, storming around, shaking his head, then slamming the door shut whenever Dd laughs or shouts in happiness.
It’s pissing me off that he’s making me uncomfortable in my own garden! especially since we’ve overheard them numerous times shagging, the patios doors are open and it’s vile

Aibu 🤷🏻‍♀️

I would be getting her to make more noise

YANBU

Id cover DD's ears and tell him as much!

My Dd hasn’t heard them shagging…Dh and I have, mainly in the evenings if we sit out… has been in the day on the odd occasion and we have to bring Dd inside
And *He’s pissed off at me?!
Hate that guy

How do you know he’s annoyed with your DD? Maybe the sex isn’t good and he’s muttering outside before he goes in for another try?!

@Heroicallyl0st 🤣

⬆️⬆️ 100% this 😁😁😁 ⬆️⬆️

He could be storming around (just how big is it??) his balcony for any reason, how do you know it's because of your DD?

Invite DD’s friends over and play baby shark on a loop.

he’ll soon shut the doors to have his day time shags.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The response to hearing sex by neighbours should either be fake moans, or a round of applause when they finish.

Think that's what the neighbour is trying already.

@TeapotTitties Because when she gets a little louder, he comes storming out, looks over, shakes his head, lights up his cigarette and paces around. Then he heads back in and slams the door. It’s very obvious

Next time you hear him shagging, applaud loudly.

I mentally moved the comma from after 'louder' to after 'comes'.

I would try and ignore as much of his stomping around as possible. Its his own blood pressure that hes raising .
Let your DD play and make as much noise as she wants. Im pretty sure thats not much in reality.
I'll send round my 11 year old DS who is a whirling dervish with added action noises in most situations . One day of him and your little ones splashing will seem as a blessed relief afterwards.

@JudgeJ Ffs 🤣

Honestly, it creeps me out!

Hmmm, well I hate the shrieking and squealing that children inevitably do when playing in a pool.
As to shagging noises... none round my way.

Get a Chris Evans type recording of crowd applause and play it every time they take a break from shagging

Start whooping and clapping when he's finished 🤢

Shout over, “Is something bothering you”?
If he says “Yes, your kid”
That’s when you can mention his shagging.

Be honest, does she screech? I can cope with happy playing noises but screeching gives me the rage.