You don’t want to hear my Dd splashing around, I don’t want to hear you shagging all day

[Sitbackandunwind]

My neighbours

Get an air horn and use it every time they shag or the moaning faced bastard does his grumpy fucker act.

@ThePumpkinPatch thank you for your sympathies, I know we do need to have a conversation. I've been putting it off because I just don't want to be 'one of those people', & I think screaming child may have some additional needs & parents are using the swimming pool to let her blow off steam.

God though the noise really travels. It's weird that they don't think it's unreasonable given that they must know we're just next door. It's at the stage where we literally cannot use the garden if they're out there.

How do you know he’s annoyed with your DD? Maybe the sex isn’t good and he’s muttering outside before he goes in for another try?!

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👏👏👏

Mumsnet is full of weirdos…. You can tell by some of these comments 🙄

That song is torture especially after 30 minutes stuck on the ride in Disneyland.

No one deserves that

Eine Kleine Nachtmusik?

😆

Take DD round to a friend's where they can make loads of noise. Record it .

Either you or someone you know, do an 2 nd recording of a loud dominant woman ( pornhub should yield results..). Recording No 2. On a loop maybe ?

Big Bluetooth speaker discreetly placed ( under a towel ?)

Send DD to friends.

Play tape No 1. Until he kicks off.
3 mins later start on ' Bonus track No 2...lay it on totally.

Either, it'll make him feel so inadequate that he takes up golf instead...
OR. He'll be making excuses to pop round & ask if you have any sugar coz he's run out...

At that point, all the power is in your hands lol !!

PS Just ensure the loop is ' very hot ' !!
Even better...if he REALLY has a woman in there, & she is so demanding that he's at it " all day ", there's the danger that she might be popping round ' for sugar ', but that just gives you chance to ask her why she's putting up with a bloke who is obviously so unhappy & stroppy , & how lucky you are .

Or playing Benny Hill music 😂

put a note through his door

after overhearing you shag - orgasim is def fake

kind regards

concerned truthful neighbour

That's good....

Yeh, just do the lot !!
Maybe he will move...

I used to live in a second floor apartment, and in the apartment below me lived a younger couple who had a very active sex life. I only knew this because the female was somewhat of a screamer and it wasn’t uncommon to hear her in the throes of orgasm twice a night. I was a bit bemused when the guy stopped me one day to ask if I could walk a bit more quietly as my floors were apparently noisy.

Play Rod Stewart's If you think I'm sexy

i think the shagging is the figment if the OP’s very fertile imagination 😀

There’s nothing nicer than the sound of a child's laughter

@MadMadMadamMim They’re only over the back and patio doors and windows open. We’ve heard them for years

Are you sure it's them that your hearing? Noise can be deceiving, especially at night.

I'd take sex noise over children shouting, not least because it doesn't last as long.

You don’t mention his partner. Is there one or is he just playing a film soundtrack/recording to convince his neighbours he’s having an impressive sex-life! Funny if you haven’t ever seen her/him/them.

Love baby shark!

How many hours a day is she shrieking and squealing? That would really grate pretty quickly. The sound of the water isn't the issue. My neighbours kids aren't allowed to shout, we hear the parents telling them that if they get too loud in the pool they will be sent inside, and they do! It's called being considerate, there's playing outside noise and loud noise

Mumsnet is a funny old place. Usually any kind of inconsiderate behaviour (eg allowing children to screech/shout all day in a garden) are widely derided BUT in the case of someone else getting some, that person immediately becomes the enemy.

Lots of sexually frustrated people on this site 🤣

@CatsnCoffee Yes 🤣We know her, she’s quite nice, often chat with her when walking the dog

My DNiece, who is utterly delightful in every other respect, still has screaming fits and tantrums at the slightest thing.

She's 20!

My NDN's DD was a screamer. It was earsplitting and at a pitch that sounded like it could shatter glass. It was near-painful and in good weather, when she was playing outside, it got so bad I used to have to go out to get away from it sometimes.

She's grown up now, long since left home, and has a toddler of her own and guess what? Her toddler is also a screamer. Thankfully, when she visits, they tend to spend time out in the garden.

Sorry, there should have been a "not" after "tend".

I would be playing peel the banana (guacamole) song on repeat